Why are less people getting married?

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People go to Disney World for the experience. If you don’t like it, then you can choose not to go back again. The experience only lasts a few days. Parenthood is quite a bit different.

Not everyone says that marriage and parenthood are great and fulfilling parts of life. They aren’t right for everyone. You need to be fairly certain that being a mother is right for you, and you need to be prepared for it because it’s a huge responsibility. It doesn’t sound like you and David will be ready for that responsibility any time soon. Do you know why David is in a group home? Does he have autism, an intellectual disability, or something else?

I love my son and never regretted having him despite the circumstances in which he was conceived, but there are people who DO regret becoming parents because of how challenging it is. (My one grandmother regretted it, as did her mother.) It’s not talked about that much because of the judgment people receive for expressing such feelings. At any rate, I think parenting is especially challenging when you and your partner both have your own disabilities to contend with. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but it can make difficult things even more difficult.

There are, but it's easier on the self-esteem to blame one's surroundings for their failures.

That is true

You CANNOT erase or undo children!! !

Even marriage itself can be reversed even though it's hard (divorce)



Yeah you are right about marriage and motherhood not being for everyone

But how do I ascertain whether they are for ME?

That is where I am stuck!

David is in a group home because he volunteered to go there on his own

He has Multiple Sclerosis (auto-immune disease)



I am sure if I was to become a mother that I would not regret having any of my children

Maybe you’re not so much stuck as trying to rush what you aren’t ready for. You’ve not been with David that long. You have lots of time to figure out what you want and if motherhood is right for you. Getting feedback from any therapist or social worker that’s involved with you and David might be useful. They might have a better idea of what you’re ready for than we do, not that they’ll always be right or anything. Ultimately, it’s up to you and David. I think you mostly need more time and reflection. As time goes on, the answers will come.

I know

David is the one who is trying to rush into things

Also, I realized something about the whole "voluntary imprisonment" of marriage...

It is that very thing that causes infidelity and divorce!! !

Think about it:

What happens when you and your partner start getting tired of each other?

You start to feel trapped!

In a prison of your own creation

Then you start to wonder about other people...

Perhaps the whole entire concept of marriage no longer makes sense?