Love-bombing, what it is and how to recognize it.

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Love-bombing is when someone you barely know begins telling you that they love you, lavishing praise and compliments. It is typically from someone with an attractive profile picture. They want to form a relationship with you, because then your guard will be down, and that is when they start telling you hard-luck stories, always something that involves your sending money or doing some favor for them.

I was reminded of this recently on OKCupid, when I got a message from the Admins. I recall having a brief exchange with a user named Anna. It never went far because her response was "I don't know what you are talking about," and I reread my message, and decided if she could not understand that, she probably wouldn't understand much else I had to say, either. I don't think she was a high-level love-bomber at any rate, maybe just starting out in the profession.

"Hey, Gentleman Argentum,

At OkCupid, we respect and appreciate every member, and work behind the scenes to cultivate a safe and positive experience.

Recently, we discontinued Anna's account due to what appears to be fraudulent* behavior. We are letting you know because you exchanged messages with this member.

As a safety reminder, we strongly advise against sharing personal financial information or sending money to other members via any means. If you receive one of these requests from another member, please report them on the app, site, or directly to us.

For more information, check out our safety tips.

Thanks,
The OkCupid Team

*Fraudulent behavior includes but is not limited to using a false identity or posing a significant risk of attempting to obtain money from other members through deceitful means. "

My current girlfriend kinda borderline love-bomed me on this forum depending how love-bombing is defined since different people can use slightly different definitions. Cass read some of my posts & liked what she read & then she read a lot of my posts before PMing me. I checked her posting history after I PMed her back because I never noticed any of her posts before & she had made a few posts. She did have a hard-luck story but she was not asking money or anything. I liked that she was upfront about it & I have a hard-luck story as well which is one of the reasons we relate to each other. Neither of us had attractive profile pix though.

I definitely would have reported her to a mod if she quickly asked for something like money or if her initial message seemed like a generic pasted one that coulda been sent to lots of members like if it did not mention anything related to my posting. I had received a few of the latter PMs from newbs on this forum that I reported to mods but I haven't received any in over a decade. I also have received some of the latter messages on other forums & dating sites that I also reported or tried to report(I've tried LOTS of various dating sites). I def never experienced anything like love-bombing in person. This is one of the reasons I feel I cant majorly advise other single lonely Aspie guys how to get relationships because some of what worked for me could be red flags & might be borderline breaking some of the forum rules.

That is interesting, because I wasn't aware there was any relationship-forming or even friendship-forming on Wrong Planet. It seems to me that most of the posts have to do with politics or pet peeves, things people hate. I click on "Latest messages" every time I log in, and all I see is politics and pet peeves for the most part. I usually click on the few messages about other things to read about them, but it is difficult to avoid politics here, we are saturated.

If someone came to Wrong Planet wondering what autistic people are like, they would conclude autistic people are 100% political and only worry about politics all of the time, tribal identity that bonds them with the neurotypicals.

Congratulations on your relationship, that is something that happened to me once on reddit as well, a lady messaged me out of the blue, which they will do that occasionally.

I got love-bombed on chess dot com just recently. An individual began messaging me, and this continued for months. First, she was a housekeeper, 35, from Latin America. Then, she was a veterinarian, 47, in London with German heritage. Just last week, she told me how much she loved me. I said, "Of course you do, because you're love-bombing me. When will be the request for gift cards?" She replied, "On February." I reported "her" to the admins, but the only category that was even close was "sexual harassment," which isn't quite the case. In my opinion, "she" is a "he", a young man that does not work for a living, just chats Westerners all day long attempting to manipulate their emotions for financial gain.

I had some guys try that online, and idk everytime they got like that I was less intersted in meeting them, cause its like the one guy acted like we were in a relatoinship before we had even met in person, and I wasn't cool with that because before deciding to date them I wanted to meet up first, but I was worried theyd see me meeting up as then I was their girlfriend and I still was not sure if I wanted that with them as I had not met them in person yet. but yeah they were being a little pushy before even meeting me in person and that made me uncomfortable. I didn't care taht they were in a wheelchair like i was still considering it even with that being a potential obstacle but they kept trying to move things along to fast before I even met them in person to where I had to at some point say 'look I don't think this is giong to work out we haven't even met in person yet so good luck to you. so yeah I had no problem with the wheelchair, he was just being way to pushy before we even met in person and it made me uncomfortable. Wheras if they had not behaved that way I would have probably arranged to meet in person but they creeped me out by being way too forward before I even met them in person. And maybe he had no ill intentions but it was still too pushy for for my liking.

some tate bros might say I was a prude or whatever, but like I didn't want to have casual sex I prefer sex with a partner but like what we're whores if we sleep with more than one guy before finding the right one, and also whores if we don't sleep with men who demand it just no winning.

I’ve been love-bombed both on and offline. In the past, I didn’t have any concept of manipulative behavior and took people at their word. Of course, I was vulnerable, too, which didn’t help. I only realized that my abusive ex’s behavior in the beginning was love-bombing within the past couple of years. I’ve not been duped out of money apart from my ex taking small sums here and there, though.