Adult Daughter with ASD afraid to be alone

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My 37 year old daughter with ASD is afraid to be alone. She does work part time in retail. She has always lived with us. Doesn’t want us to travel- we are retired and want to take trips at this stage of our life up to 2 weeks once a year- plus maybe a couple short trips (one or two days). She seems to have anxiety-induced choking episodes when we are planning to leave for any length of time. These don’t happen when we are home with no imminent travel plans and do not seem dangerous. We did travel recently for 9 days with a daily plan of activities and resources she could contact. She complained how awful that was for her.
We don’t want to feel trapped by her anxiety. Suggestions? Any other parents experience something like this?

That sounds really tough. Does she have a therapist? If not, that might be something for her to try if she’s open to it. It would also give her an outlet while you guys are away.

A doctor could potentially prescribe as-needed anxiety medication that could help with the choking episodes although it seems like gradually working towards becoming more independent might be a good idea overall. How does she do when you leave for a few hours or a day? Is her anxiety more about being alone at night?

Those are just some thoughts. It’s hard to give definitive answers because we’re all so different. There was a time when I was afraid to be alone but that was more related to trauma and genuine safety concerns.

That she has survived for nine days is a good sign that it is possible. You may want to help her cultivate friendships outside your family to help her reduce anxieties. Since she works part time, is there a reason she cannot get a second part time job. Could she do volunteer work, join a gym, go to a church, or pursue a social hobby. If she can develop and expand a social circle, it might help her reduce her anxieties.

If she can't develop the skills to be on her own, you might want to consider a group home for her as you won't be around forever.