How come you never hear from people in assisted living?

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justanotherpersonsomewhere23124
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16 Jan 2025, 2:25 pm

On fourms like this, that is. Like in group homes, for example.



Rossall
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16 Jan 2025, 2:30 pm

viewtopic.php?t=424704


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nick007
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Yesterday, 6:37 am

I think a smallish percentage of autistic people are in group homes. The people more likely to be living there tend to be more disabled due to those places being underfunded considering their demand. Also those places may have rules about residents online activity in an attempt to keep residents safe from online predators.


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Yesterday, 8:17 am

You don't hear from people in assisted living?

Last Valentines Day, a nearby assisted living center (55 miles from the house) had a Valentine's Dinner for the residents and their guests.

$20 for a ribeye steak meal that was miserably tough. A nephew of mine went, too.

But I had a good time, there even if they didn't have a place for me to put my hat.

While I was sitting there on one side of my oldest brother's wife, I mentioned something about the town I'm from. The woman on the other side turned to me and asked if I new a certain woman from the town. Of course I did -- we used to work together. She was there both times a dog fell through my office ceiling! It turned out that the woman I didn't know was her aunt. Several of us had quite a good time talking. After the meal, her sister and another niece arrived. So I took a picture of them and sent it to the woman I worked with who was away on a short weekend trip and she replied "You've met my whole family".

I haven't actually met her whole family, though. She has a quite famous brother (some of you would probably recognize his name and some of his accomplishments so I won't mention it) who lives a thousand miles away and I have never met him.

We had a good time at the assisted living center that day even if their riibeye steak was badly overcooked.

I went to my brother's wife's birthday party there in June, too, and have been back several times since then. For example, on Thanksgiving, I went over and picked her up and took her to Thanksgiving Dinner about 75 miles away. I also took her to Christmas Dinner and then we went to a nursing home in another town to visit another woman who was good friends with my brother's wife and used to accompany us to our Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinners.

Never hear from them? I hear from them quite often.



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Yesterday, 8:52 am

Group homes and assisted living aren't congruent concepts. A number of people on WP are in some sort of group home.


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Yesterday, 8:17 pm

Because internet and direct access to the outside world is forbidden in those places. You're usually only even allowed to make a phone call to your family once a day. It's a lot like being in prison. You have to turn your phone in to staff as soon as you check in and are not allowed to have it back except for a few minutes to call family THEY approved of or until you finally are allowed to leave. Mental intuitions never truly went away, we just changed the term to "group home" "residential school" or "assisted living facility'. Yes today they are usually run out of a house or modern looking apartment complex, but inside, it's no different than mental institution. It's just like prison, maybe even worse. At least in prison you have a few rights.


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kokopelli
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Yesterday, 9:01 pm

In my area, those in assisted living facilities are usually elderly. It isn't limited to them, but it works out that way.

Those who live in them are often free to come and go. They can even have their own cars. If they don't have their own car, the assisted living facility owns a bus that can take them wherever they need to go in the area.

In 2024, I had a lunch meeting in the town with the assisted living facility. After the meeting, I went over to the assisted living center to visit my oldest brother's wife. As I walked up to the door, their bus was at the door and my oldest brother's wife stepped off and invited me to go on a ride with them.

It turned out that the bus was taking one of the inhabitants over to the hospital for a doctor's visit. My oldest brothers wife and a friend of hers never passed up a chance to take the bus ride. They didn't care where it was going, they just enjoyed riding it.

Also, my oldest brother's wife has her own telephone in her room. If she wanted Internet, she could have that, too.

When I would go get my oldest brother's wife and a friend of hers to take them to Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, they didn't need anyone's permission to leave. We did coordinate with the family of the friend of hers, but it wasn't required.



kokopelli
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Yesterday, 9:12 pm

One big restriction for those at the assisted living center is that they don't allow pets.



King Kat 1
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Yesterday, 11:03 pm

Yeah no pets would be rough.

My Grandfather(who I believe was ASD) lived the last couple years of his life in an assisted living facility. I am not sure they had people with Autism or not, mainly elderly. There was a closed off area, for people with dementia or other cognitive issues.

My Grandpa of course lived in the main area and got on well with the others. Group homes I've heard are a nightmare.


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Today, 5:16 am

Both grandparents on my mom's side were in nursing homes when they died. They went to different nursing homes at different times. They were allowed to have cellphones but my grandpa had Alzheimer's & at that point didn't know how to use a phone in general. One of my relatives gave my grandma a very basic prepaid cellphone after she was admitted & my grandma struggled to use it. Neither her nor my grandpa ever used cellphones at home & they also had never once used the internet themselves during their lives. That was probably due to them growing up without that stuff available & being poor & frugal with their money, they never saw a reason to spend money on & learn how to use cellphones & internet. This likely would not be a scenario for many other adults in western countries.

My parents kinda tried to get me in a group home for autism during my mid 20s. The psychiatrist I started seeing at 20 for 5 years had diagnosed me with autism & referred me for testing & I also got put on a waiting list for autism services. After 5 years my name came up on the list & one of the potential services was a group home. The system was hung-up on my exact diagnoses stating autism & that I had to be diagnosed before 21. The diagnoses only counted if I was tested before 21. Since autism is a deveopmental disability that occures before turning 21 the only way to know for sure that I had autism was to get officaly tested & diagnosed before turning 21. I was tested for autism at 20 but the quack diagnosed me with Schizoid Personality Disorder instead. Him & his paperwork stated that I had Asperger's personality but it was due to having Schizoid Personality Disorder & nothing on tha autism spectrum. That means I could never be admitted to a group home for autism even if my psychiatrists & GP docs state that I have autism.
The higher functioning autistics are more likely to fall through the cracks like I was & not get diagnosed from autism testing before 21.


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