I'm Afraid Of Me

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For the longest time I kept trying to tell myself I'm a straight man but I'm slowly coming to realize that I'm not which truly bothers me. I fear the vulnerability and the possibility of being targeted. I keep telling myself I need to have a wife and kids and be a traditional husband like I wanted to since I have been a homophobic right-wing traditionalist for years. Not only would I ruin my chances on having a traditional family, but I'd also ruin my reputation with my friends.

Last edited by ChaosCascade on 29 Dec 2024, 12:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I know two people who moved to Connecticut to find high paying jobs as managers.
Both have gay marriages that have raised one kid each. The two guys adopted a young black girl.

The lesbian couple is vacationing right now in Europe!

Don't be afraid to follow your true self and find happiness with someone. No need to have kids for the sake of tradition or what's expected. I was 34 when I began to come out and am now over 60 and in a happy relationship despite currently being long distance due to complex reasons. I split my time between two distant cities.

No need to fear targeting. There are no longer gay stereotypes and the most unlikely folk are gay. I wish you success in finding happiness and an end to doubt and loneliness.

True friends won't reject you even if they're all straight. If they do them it's their problem and might eventually come to understand.

Traditional marriages seldom work out when a gay guy isn't really attracted which.lesds to unhappiness for the wife when she finds out she's married to someone who doesn't feel attracted to her. If they have kids it can be more complicated.

But many gays and lesbians adopt children. There are many kids.longing for a happy home.

True friends won't reject you even if they're all straight. If they do them it's their problem and might eventually come to understand.

Traditional marriages seldom work out when a gay guy isn't really attracted which.lesds to unhappiness for the wife when she finds out she's married to someone who doesn't feel attracted to her. If they have kids it can be more complicated.

But many gays and lesbians adopt children. There are many kids.longing for a happy home.

A side of me feels it's even more special if the offspring is my own. To me it would be an honor to my ancestors to carry on our bloodline.

Are you trolling? Your profile pic looks like Boy George from the 1980s.

I'm serious, I love Culture Club. The title of this post was taken from one of there songs.

https://youtu.be/zhcKDf57S1w?si=imZ4Jz98yGlmTurY

Friends who won't accept you for who you are aren't real friends.

Political stances that are outright hostile to who you are probably aren't good stances to hold.

It seems you're at a point in life where it's time to seriously rethink what you want from life so you're not forced to spend life cosplaying as someone who hates the real you.

What makes it hard to accept is my desire for wanting kids who're of my own blood, and my growing fascination with ancestor worship. I'm anti leftist ideologically and have been for 10 years. I've reconsidered before but I feel it's hard to deny what's happening today is by design to undermine and destroy the west. I am critical of the modern LGBT movement because I despise the degeneracy in it and people forcing it in public education and kids being in oversexualized pride parades, and people supporting Desmond Is Amazing.

Being LGBTQ+ is not a politic statement. Most are just like you, trying to live their lives. Some are political because they feel discriminated against.

It's not actually a conspiracy, you know that, right?

You can have a think about a possible child by surrogacy once you are in a stable position to care for one. Better that than marrying some poor woman on false pretences, would you really do that? Because that is truly despicable

It sounds like you've drank a bunch of far-right ideology and that unfortunately your ideology is at odds with who you actually are as a person.

It might be time to reevaluate some of your anti-leftist hate ideology, but you do you.