How can someone 5 year younger be at a different life stage?

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chris1989
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22 Jan 2025, 2:41 pm

Than me ?

When I was on a bus somewhere today, I got complimented about my scarf by this young woman who was studying at college and I complimented on the nice coat she was wearing, she seemed to take a liking to me, she seemed nice but I felt awkward and strange as I am someone 30+ and passed the days of college and she probably didn't know how old I was and I thought was younger but she never asked me and I didn't know what she was thinking. I do feel quite frustrated because I feel that as a man of my age I shouldn't go anywhere near going out with women more than 5 or 10 years younger than me because of being at a different stage of life to me.



ChicagoLiz
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22 Jan 2025, 5:41 pm

You're right, that people in different stages in life usually have different needs and priorities, which can be fine for friendship but not necessarily a romantic relationship.

But, you say she complimented you first. That's a good sign that she is comfortable around you. Maybe she didn't realize that you were so much older than she is. Of course, she could also have gone to college later than usual, maybe after some time working full time, so the age gap might not be as large as you think.

Ultimately, you had a nice moment with a stranger. That's good. That's enough. If something like that happens again, you can offer to take them to coffee/tea/lunch/whatever makes sense at the time, and maybe that will happen or maybe it won't.

Keep being the kind of person that a woman can feel comfortable around, and at some point the nice moment will expand into even nicer moments.


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nick007
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22 Jan 2025, 6:31 pm

When I was 28 my girlfriend was 19 & in college & she was at a higher life stage than me. Her being at a higher life stage than me or at least wanting to be was probably a major reason we had fights & why she she broke up with me. I think if our genders were reversed & I was the one at a higher life stage than her our relationship might of been a lot better. I spent the first 30 years of my life living in the deep south & it's common for women to be in relationships with guys a bit or a lot older than them. Women tend to be paid less than men & men are expected to be the primary financial earners in a relationship. Whereas women are expected to be the primary ones doing housework in addition to them having jobs. I think this is why it's more accepable for men to be at a higher life stage than women.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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Yesterday, 11:40 am

Two people can be the same physical age but at very different stages of life. They could also be very different physical ages but at a similar stage of life. This is much more likely if one of them is autistic.


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CockneyRebel
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Yesterday, 10:23 pm

My sister is 47 and I'm 50. The two of us are at different stages of life. She has a family and she works in an office all day. I do arts & crafts for most of the day and I enjoy building things out of Lego. My dad was right when he told my sister that I will never completely grow up.


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funeralxempire
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Today, 12:36 am

When I was in high school I knew several girls who became mothers. Even if they were younger than me they were in a different life stage because they were parents and I'm not.


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