Over 30 and never been in a relationship. Bad?

Post Reply New Topic

I would like to stop feeling bad sometimes for not having experienced a long term or short term relationship. But it seems hard to do so and it at times depending on what frame of mind I'm in, makes me lose hope because I absurdly think that over time women might lose interest in me and that if they find out about the lack of experience, they'll want nothing to do with me.

We always seem to think some people pressure others when they are young to go out, find someone and have sex before an arbitrary time and age like 30 etc and that if someone gets to that point of life with not much experience through no fault of their own such as being autistic where social ques can be a struggle, we make them out as "social outcasts" or something. I had some friends who were girls one I wanted to be with but wanted to be friends instead while the other wanted a relationship but I didn't feel ready at the time. Also during school, college, and uni I struggled to start conversations or gain confidence socially. All this I can do to an extent now.

I also get tired of the feelings of urgency and desperation to do these things because of the age I'm at now and I know as other people have said it just puts people off and won't date someone like that. I just wish they would go away.

I'm 50 and I've never been in a relationship and after hearing about the horror stories, I'm glad.

I got in a relationship with my current girlfriend when we were both 29 & she only had one relationship before me. Cass's previous relationship was a strictly online thing with a guy who lived in another country & it was not very long before Cass got in a relationship with me. Cass didn't really care if I had previous relationship experience or not thou I had two girlfriends before here & those relationships were mostly long-distance & only lasted about half a year. My point is that some women would be OK with a guy not having relationship experience at that age. They may be rare but it may be more likely if the woman doesn't have much relationship experience either due to her having various issues.

Good point. Not having relationship experience also means not having baggage from previous relationships. That means no regular complaining/b!tching about exes, not fighting with exes during a long bitter divorce & child-custody battle, & no exes trying to interfere with & end your current relationship I think those scenarios might cause women to be more wary of a guy or consider ending their relationship than if the guy has no relationship experience, especially if the women watch lots of crime & murder shows.

I was in 1, when I was in my 20s with a women, before coming out gay at 27. Dated a guy for a couple months and went out with a couple others. At 28, I decided I was happier being single and at nearly 45 my views have not changed. Although and don't want to get inappropriate, sometimes I think a friend with benefits would be nice.

its either the norm or just common for neurodivergent men