As the title says, I really hate how I’m always unappealing for anybody in a romantic sense. At 30, I’ve never been on a first date and have never been apart of a hookup either. Shoot at 30, I’ve never had a woman show any interest in me that way as well. Not even the smallest hints ever existed for me. IMO, the two biggest reasons for this is my autism and being very below average looking. It’s a death sentence and one that I didn’t sign up for either. Also my level of autism is enough where I’m too normal for other autistics but also too weird for NT’s. I have and continue to do the self improvements in life but the result has been nothing. Women just seem to be interested in everyone but me.
I know I’m not entitled to go on dates and be in a relationships. But I also don’t think it’s right to see everyone else around have success with romance except me. I don’t think it’s right to see everyone else have a woman be interested in them except me. Of course just because me saying I don’t think it’s right doesn’t really matter. Because it’ll continue on no matter what. I just wanted to experience what everyone else has experienced as well. Sadly, this will not be how my life goes. I’ll be known as the weird step uncle that could never be with someone and they wondered why. It sucks and I hate it but that’s how my life will go.
Today, 3:14 am
