I hate how I’m always unappealing/undesirable in a romantic
As the title says, I really hate how I’m always unappealing for anybody in a romantic sense. At 30, I’ve never been on a first date and have never been apart of a hookup either. Shoot at 30, I’ve never had a woman show any interest in me that way as well. Not even the smallest hints ever existed for me. IMO, the two biggest reasons for this is my autism and being very below average looking. It’s a death sentence and one that I didn’t sign up for either. Also my level of autism is enough where I’m too normal for other autistics but also too weird for NT’s. I have and continue to do the self improvements in life but the result has been nothing. Women just seem to be interested in everyone but me.
I know I’m not entitled to go on dates and be in a relationships. But I also don’t think it’s right to see everyone else around have success with romance except me. I don’t think it’s right to see everyone else have a woman be interested in them except me. Of course just because me saying I don’t think it’s right doesn’t really matter. Because it’ll continue on no matter what. I just wanted to experience what everyone else has experienced as well. Sadly, this will not be how my life goes. I’ll be known as the weird step uncle that could never be with someone and they wondered why. It sucks and I hate it but that’s how my life will go.
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,730
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
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Sorry to hear that. There can be many factors why things don't work out but the important thing is to keep putting yourself out there and try. Take 99 rejections and 1 win. Don't focus too much on self improvement beyond the basics (hygiene, clothing, health, having sources of happiness beyond relationships), instead go for a wide range of women. There are billions of them.
The main problem with autism is that you miss signs that women are hitting on you!
Uh, did you know she wanted a date with you? No, I didn't have a clue.
Appearance matters a great deal to men. No so much for women. But, women do prefer tall men. By a lot.
But, short men with good jobs have an excellent chance of forming a long term relationship with women.
I’ve tried that as well and they’re usually interested in someone else.
Uh, did you know she wanted a date with you? No, I didn't have a clue.
Appearance matters a great deal to men. No so much for women. But, women do prefer tall men. By a lot.
But, short men with good jobs have an excellent chance of forming a long term relationship with women.
I can read signs and body language decently. There were never any hints and signs of interest from a single woman in my life. I’m just too ugly and weird to be in one.
I’m more like talking 100 rejections and 0 wins. I can’t take anymore losses.
I’m more like talking 100 rejections and 0 wins. I can’t take anymore losses.
Are you going for the same type of women or trying to experiment a bit? There are older, younger, different careers, attitudes, nationalities... Different people look for different values, especially if it's long term. Also, are you diversifying the places you try to find dates? Online, apps, hobbies, work, street, etc...
By the way, you're not undesirable or unappealing. Confidence comes from appreciating yourself the way you are as you are. After you like yourself in the mirror, you'll find ways to gradually improve yourself in a way that you feel comfortable in rather than trying to satisfy an imaginary partner.
Just two thoughts, I know it's not a great situation but if it helps I was a virgin until 28.
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