confused, don't know how to feel about this convesation

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I have an extremely rare medical issue that most people have never heard of and most medical practitioners have a difficult time understanding how to meet my needs. So I am always looking for doctors who might be able to work with me. Every few months I call my insurance to see if there are new providers in network that I can try. When I called my insurance today, I explained to the rep that I was looking for doctor who might be able to understand an idiosyncratic condition. He asked me if it was related to a medicine or an allergy. I said no it is not because it isn't. He then told me that the only thing he could suggest was a behavioral health practitioner. I asked him why he came to that conclusion. He refused to answer and just repeated that I needed behavioral health.

I called a couple hours later and spoke to a supervisor. She was appalled and apologized profusely and said that she would deal with it. I was very thankful. But I am just wondering what you all think of that interaction. I am genuinely confused and do not know what to make of it. I feel insulted but I am wondering what you all feel.

Perhaps more likely than sexism is simple laziness.

I used to make my own travel arrangements. I used to call an airline reservation number about 3 in the morning. Based on how the person sounded who answered, I would just hang up. What I was looking for was an older gal who had worked there over ten years and was likely working third shift to avoid dealing with their own management on day shift. I would usually find someone competent who had the time to investigate as to what flights and fares applied. I was amazed at the difference made by connecting with someone competent and helpful.

This was 40 years ago and I imagine that it is unlikely to find competent people at any large organization today. Most have computer menu phone service or relay the call to India. Trying to contact anyone can be like trying to penetrate a defensive perimeter.

Most organizations try to find the cheapest way to provide their "service" this would apply to hiring the cheapest people.

I do not get how anyone can bring sexism into it as it has nothing whatsoever to do with sexism.

I can definitely see both points of view. I have been encountering this kind of lazy incompetence all the time now in all areas of life and it really irritates me to no end.

I had not thought about the sexist angle though but there was a time when that kind of thinking that you mentioned was very common. So, I can understand if remnants of that are still lingering. What I have also found very often is that when I try to explain my medical situation to people, most of the time they try to convince me that I am incorrect in my understanding of my own condition that I have been living with for about 60 years and that I have some kind of anxiety or depressive disorder or low self-esteem issue or that I have delusions instead because they cannot understand why my brain and body do that they do. They try to drown me in their inappropriate and ridiculous suggestions on things they think I should do to "fix" myself and if I don't take their advice, they get angry and say that I am unwilling to be helped. I think that whenever people can't wrap their heads around a medical condition because they can't understand it or because they have never heard of it, they just assume that you must have some kind of mental illness that is making you create a condition that they don't believe actually exists.

I don't think they were necessarily being insulting. I think they were being incompetent.

I hope the manager can correct that problem.

And I also hope you find a specialist that can address your needs.

This is not necessarily an either or situation. Laziness can be a cause of those ideas about women.

What you described in your last post is classical gaslighting. Which makes me think sexism might be too mild a word. Maybe misogyny is the correct term. Or it could be ableism or both.

He makes an assertion, you ask why he thinks it's so, and he won't answer. My guess is that he was lying in the first place and your probing caught him out. In my experience it's very common for service "providers" to use lame excuses to palm people off with nothing. Well done for going over his head and complaining. A lot of people would have just given up. Hope the supervisor does sort it out and you either get what you're looking for or at least a sensible answer to explain why they won't give you what you want.

I think if it had happened to me, I'd have felt angry. It's rather a soapbox theme with me - like I said, it's a common problem with service providers. If only they'd be up-front and honest about what they will do and what they won't, everybody could save a lot of time. But a lot of the world just isn't that sincere. As for why they do it, I guess they're trying to hide how useless they are, so they'll still get paid.

I don't know that it's necessarily a case of sexism, though there is probably still an attitude around in some quarters that holds that women are easier to fool than men. Being well-informed is probably the best way to avoid being cheated and fobbed off by service providers, regardless of your gender. Looks like you did quite well this time.