I hate how I’m always unappealing/undesirable in a romantic

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As the title says, I really hate how I’m always unappealing for anybody in a romantic sense. At 30, I’ve never been on a first date and have never been apart of a hookup either. Shoot at 30, I’ve never had a woman show any interest in me that way as well. Not even the smallest hints ever existed for me. IMO, the two biggest reasons for this is my autism and being very below average looking. It’s a death sentence and one that I didn’t sign up for either. Also my level of autism is enough where I’m too normal for other autistics but also too weird for NT’s. I have and continue to do the self improvements in life but the result has been nothing. Women just seem to be interested in everyone but me.

I know I’m not entitled to go on dates and be in a relationships. But I also don’t think it’s right to see everyone else around have success with romance except me. I don’t think it’s right to see everyone else have a woman be interested in them except me. Of course just because me saying I don’t think it’s right doesn’t really matter. Because it’ll continue on no matter what. I just wanted to experience what everyone else has experienced as well. Sadly, this will not be how my life goes. I’ll be known as the weird step uncle that could never be with someone and they wondered why. It sucks and I hate it but that’s how my life will go.

Sorry to hear that. There can be many factors why things don't work out but the important thing is to keep putting yourself out there and try. Take 99 rejections and 1 win. Don't focus too much on self improvement beyond the basics (hygiene, clothing, health, having sources of happiness beyond relationships), instead go for a wide range of women. There are billions of them.

The main problem with autism is that you miss signs that women are hitting on you!
Uh, did you know she wanted a date with you? No, I didn't have a clue.

Appearance matters a great deal to men. No so much for women. But, women do prefer tall men. By a lot.
But, short men with good jobs have an excellent chance of forming a long term relationship with women.

Did you "court" them, so to say, before asking them out? Women need to get a good feel of who you are before agreeing to date you. Especially the attractive ones, because they're used to dealing with men and a lot of men are neither reliable nor safe. Nothing to do with you personally, there are just some men out there who are ... Not nice.

Let me know if I'm unintentionally saying something that makes you feel worse.

What exactly do you find ugly about yourself? Are people regularly telling you that, or is it mostly you telling yourself? There must be something about your looks that you like ... Nobody's 100% ugly nor 100% perfect, unless they're AI.

Or opposite, anything about your looks that you like?

I have acne all the time and I'm nearing my forties.

Let me preface that these might be strong words and aren't directed to you personally. But this is what I'd tell anyone who'd share your situation from what you've shared.

It might be good to let go of the dating issue for a while. Other people are free to decide whether they date you or not just as you are, and all of them can say no. In the end we might not be able to know why.

But looking at yourself and saying you are ugly would make anyone feel like crap. Even if you go through life never dating anyone, at least it's better to be happy about yourself and find ways to give yourself a great life. In fact you deserve to love yourself just the way you are, with no change, just like everyone else. It's called self respect.

The past might suck but it's over and can't be changed. You can change the way you feel about yourself though. Even if it takes until you're sixty to find love, you've still found it and can experience it. In the mean time you'd have a life where you feel good and act with confidence. And hey, if the woman is 40 you might even have a kid.

In the end the only one who can truly make you feel happy about yourself long term is you.

That's what I'd tell myself when I was in my 20s and beat myself up all the time for insignificant stuff like I had red veins in my eyes or my nose was too feminine. Turns out I just hated myself in general and those thoughts were just cover-ups because I was too scared to deal with my core issues of worthlessness.

Feelings of insecurity will return but we can bounce back and keep going for what we want, need and deserve, respecting those around us, and respecting ourselves.

Hope you can take these words as a starting point.

Work on your self esteem. There are so many women out there.