Striving for mutism.

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Topic suggests it, but I think I really want to say less to everyone and be more reclusive this year. So many of my problems are attributed to me not knowing how to talk correctly and being too extroverted despite me generally being more comfortable being mostly mute and being to myself.

Just feels bad, cause it feels simultaneously like I've given up (in a way, I have) on being outgoing in the way I persisted in being, but also sorta feels like the constant criticism I got as a kid for talking a lot was really actually totally right the whole time (even if said criticism escalated to bullying).

Feels bad. My top feeling (the little I do experience anymore considered) recently has just been guilt.