Why do you think nts project their emotions onto autistics?

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for example, they say rhings like "you must be so lonely", just becsuse you are sitting alone, or "You must not care", when you really do.

I hadn't noticed particularly. If so, it's ironic - I thought they were supposed to be the amazingly empathic mind-readers and we were the ones who thought that everybody feels the same way as we do about everything. Not that I especially believe that.

I think most people project. Somebody really likes a song, they say it's a great song. Somebody loves football or alcohol, they get cognitive dissonance when they find somebody who doesn't. "Why aren't you cold? I'm freezing, you must have got antifreeze for blood or something." They've failed the Sally-Ann test, they think if they can see something, so can everybody else. Sometimes I think they don't know what's going on in other people's heads any better than I do. So what do you do if you're mind-blind? Project. Until it dawns on you that you don't actually know. You can then ask. But a lot of people never get to that point. Maybe a bit of scientific training would do them good, the way it insists we stick to what we have good evidence for instead of assuming. But getting people to do a science course might not be easy.

I think there's only one thing for it, you've just got to tell them how you feel, set them straight.

Most humans do.

And sometimes, if they cannot comprehend something possible, they'd deny it.


It's not just feelings either.
Thoughts and intents too.

It's a tricky thing to untangle if one tries to make subconsicous mirrors out of people.

To verify, it requires deeper introspection, a degree of spatial safety, shutting one's own ego up for a moment and let it be very, very honest.

No denials, no going it around it. Feel what you had to feel, think what you have to think.
THEN verify what most people project is true.

But there's another layer; if their thoughts or feelings had infected one's own.
One also had to know if it's really coming from you or coming from somewhere else like an external influence whether present or distant past.

It requires sensitivity. Deep sensitivity.
To know if certain statements are true regardless of to feelings and thoughts, if said statements are just make one feel things but untrue, statements that are actually true but it turns out it's the lack of prerequisites when it came to one's own perceptions.

Yeah, wisdom and enough life experience is quite a prerequisite.



Still.
To offset the annoying projections, one need a stronger core. Sometimes a stronger and healthier ego -- not a big and flimsy one.

Else, one will go believing or denying everything of 'who they are'.


Then there's rising your consciousness to actually able to ignore. It's not just emotional regulation.
Emotional regulation just let one be able to hit, endure and recover. Yes, even a good EF can very, very much can compensate for this kind of thing.

Rising consciousness let's one know how true or untrue something is, making statements something one can choose to look with scrutiny contrary to what the ego feels or thinks, or whatever the immature reactive takes it all or ignores it all regardless with less to no intent nor conscious choice.

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Use the example of WWII combat veterans. Many did not talk about their experiences except with other vets because normal people would be horrified to hear what happened. Many became self-medicating with alcohol do deal with their own adult reactions to their youthful experiences.

Projection is when one person makes assumption about another using themselves as the reference. Seeing something different (like someone sitting alone) can cause one to consider the difference. We all stop and notice a midget, someone missing a leg, or other abnormality. I rode a motorcycle through a rural Jamaican village once and saw 300 people stop what they were doing and stare at me.

The comment "You must be lonely" is a good example of projection. It is sympathetic and expresses some compassion, but it is insensitive because it assumes the person alone would prefer not to be. While some can project in a more negative way, it can be useful to consider such well intentioned comments as one would coming from a child.