I interacted over 2 weeks with a woman who I asked to be
an ally in a negotiation out of a very serious situation.
However twice I blew up and ended the conversation to figure
out why. I figured out the below:
She went above and beyond to be present and available, but I felt that she used a lot of
"Empathy" which i don't like because it is usually fake and not useful.
"I understand that..."
"It can be hard to ..."
"Wow I am so sorry, and I understand how you have been screwed by the system"
"Thankyou for sharing that. Now I understand .... (whatever I just shared)"
I dunno i just found it really fake. I felt that she did not fully comprehend things I was
writing. In addition in one instance she seemed to use an argument using a view I had suggested
to justify her own behaviour, which is a red flag because it suggests manipulation.
eg : "things take time, because of the system (when really she is putting her banal middle class needs above
my survival)"
In another situation she obviously did not comprehend the danger I was in.
Anyway, I just don't think we are on the same page. I still think she might be a bit useful,
as a mediator with the dispute though, and there is not much time.
But given the patterns I will probably blow up again.
I suppose its a combination of how available she can realistically be,
how much she can realistically do, and NT therapy patterns.
Today, 12:43 pm
