Why so many ASD and ASD like people portrait it as failure?

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Is something I had noticed in ASD community, they are using ASD as an excuse.
Now, except you are level 3, there's no much link with failing and ASD.
Especially level 1 is unlinked but is also unlinked with being successful.
But I had read and listen many psychologists/psychiatrists even say it.

It is a disability level 1 and 2 talking about society and being socializable, but for myself I'm charismatic.

I don't understand victimism.
Take me, I could had a victimism and I surely had many stuffs bad starting from bullism ending with not find a job just because "weird" (I can study and work greatly and I do learn fast) but if I would had been a victimist I wouldn't go no where.

My life is actually alike the Girlmoor Girls even in how the plot ended, except my mom is happily single as I'm, as how I work and how she is work... I'm like them only because I never gave up and that's a realistic portrait of women's real life!

Victimism is raising and is bad. Is bad because is raising jealousy and envy and it is raising hate on social networks.
That is why movements such as woke and me too whom where supposed to be great ended so bad.

Victimism doesn't got excuse, it isn't ableism or victim shaming... I had always fight but I always forced people to give me an equal treatment and gave me ways to fight.
At job I've got this and I treat people as my equals as they do.
I work hard but I explain how my brain works.

That's why I don't understand this victimism.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Now, if a person wouldn't accept other's limitation is ableism and not respectful... even if that person is neurotypical.

They either had identified themselves as one of the 'normal kids', prospecting and expecting they will have 'normal lives', just like the people around them want one themselves and expect others to do it, just like how their parents like and want it.

An autistic can spend their lives confuse what the point of the norm is about, they can whine about it regardless; but many are either bullied into it, socially pressured into it, made conforming associated with 'safe' and survival... "For their own good".



I had realized this for some time; not all a lot of them look for different paths themselves, seek a reality that exists in the same space.

Instead they had to rely on others, or follow the typical template of following the norm, expecting themselves to strive and work hard towards that, then beat themselves out for not doing well enough for it.

Or look for an exclusive club, their tribe so to speak, with the prospect of people understanding them.
Many do not outgrow this prospecting thought and longing, many never able to settle the grief of not being understood.

To a point that too many people had associated being autistic with having anxiety disorders and even some believe that you're not autistic if you don't have that mental illness too...
That they all claimed all autistics have anxiety is part of their wiring without the nuance of what that even means.


Anyways, that's one of my pet peeves -- blaming everything in autism.
Their toxic traits, their fears... A good portion of it just blamed a lot of it towards being autistic.

Many do not take their other human core sides -- ones that are outside of them being just autistic within them -- enough credit, accountability, blame, scrutiny or whatever.


They don't look at social dynamics enough.
They don't look at what constitutes vibing enough. Too many thinks that it's an exclusive allistic thing that no autistics can ever get.

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Don't know, I've not seen many with ASD saying they've failed because of ASD. Of course ASD has certain objectively-definable impairments, and if you're impaired then it does tend to mess with your performance at certain tasks. And in a world where "it's not what you know, it's who you know," social impairments can impact a lot on an an individual's success. In as far as ASD is a disability, it can often be the cause of failure.

Personally I've never let it bother me much, possibly because I was late being diagnosed so I didn't know I had a brain wiring issue holding me back. And I suppose I happened to play to my strengths, to do what I did best.

So I don't consider my ASD to have held me back very much overall, but I'm not without sympathy for those it does hold back in ways they feel are very significant to what they'd like to get out of life.

It's often hard to know whether or not a given individual is wrongly blaming their disability for failing in this or that. But like I say, I haven't heard much whinging that's been without just cause. I think it's important for people to be aware that they've got what they've got, and that blaming what can't be changed doesn't help. All you can do is redouble efforts to improve the coping strategies or otherwise make the best of the means at one's disposal.

Most autistic people are not charismatic like you, in fact most are almost a polar opposite and find social interactions awkward and confusing. Social skills and social interactions are important in the working world, not so much in entry level menial jobs, but definitely in middle and upper level jobs. For those who have amazing mental qualifications but keep getting passed over because of poor to nonexistent social skills it is inevitable that many will eventually become emotionally and cognitively discouraged and possibly depressed. It is hard seeing idiots with no real skills other than a slick personality always get the jobs over people way more qualified.

We all have different strengths, weaknesses, environment, support systems, mental/cognitive abilities, hope, dreams, doubts, fears, insecurities, and overall emotional state. Some autistic people are able to adapt and survive in the real world while others are unable to adapt enough to handle working in many situations. Some are able to live alone, others are forced to live in some sort of care facility. Some were raised to believe in themselves, others were raised to view themselves as broken and a burden on the world.

All these variables and more all influence how each of us view ourselves as a whole, as a person, and our perceived self worth. Each variable is a strand, all which dance and weave themselves into the tapestry, the pattern that is us. Sometimes the pattern shows success; sometimes sadness, pain, and/or tragedy. The key is that there is no key. We can see the pattern and understand of others, but that doesn't mean we can understand the meaning behind why the pattern is that way. In the end we can only truly know ourselves, if we allow it or really know how.

It is important to also recognize and acknowledge the very real stigma that autism has in the public eye, that we are somehow broken or damaged and need to be fixed. Once they view us thus quite often they begin to view and treat us as a young child, and eventually try to exert total control over our lives once that happens. Most of us fight to keep ourselves alive financially in a world we rarely and barely understand, and sometimes that struggle makes some feel like and often treated as a failure. Is it any surprise that some people eventually might feel like a failure, especially if they are struggling through life alone?

Life is a struggle. Sometimes it is great fun, sometimes it devolves into darkness. Usually it seems to be a steady shade of grey while we travel in between. We may have tremendous abilities, but that doesn't automatically mean we will be able to get a tremendous job. When someone fails to land that great job over and over it is human nature to look for the reason why, and eventually why to continue trying. Autism takes the blame for the failure sometimes, you are correct, and while it isn't solely to reason, it is often one of the variables.

Sampling error?

The ones whose Autism you learn of are the ones who have problems due to Autism and it shows.

People who are doing well despite Autism might not be as visible.

Would be like say "I've got the cancer I don't cure myself" your are excuses for not improve yourself.

For diagnosis: autism is a spectrum flexible, people can learn ti deal with and switch from 2 to 1... please, don't spread false news and check your infomations.

I didn't see ASD as a disability until the disability aspect of it slammed me in the face. I'm not "level 3", but my symptoms are such that working a job is bad for my health due to tendency to fall into severe burnout, in addition to diabetes and other chronic health conditions, etc.
That's not a "victim mentality", that's the reality I live with and my professionals were the ones who recommended applying for disability.

The levels are somewhat fluid, the levels are a loosely defined concept. I've heard that on a diagnostic level, level 1's can drop down to level 2 in regards to functionality when in severe enough burnout.

It's not only the base level of functioning you have to consider, it's that burnout is an every looming threat and to succeed, you have to learn how to avoid burnout. Life after burnout is going to look much different than life before burnout, even if you have made a full recovery. The reason you drop into burnout in the first place is your lifestyle was not sustainable.

There is something to be said for being all "woe is me" and being paranoid thinking the world is just out for you, but there's also the importance of recognizing when you're pushing yourself too far, which is often driven by not wanting to be a victim. I mean, if I had a penny for every time someone told me, when I was in such bad burnout I was near catanoia, such bad burnout that my body was urging me to b***h slap any and all customers who approached me, that all I had to do was try harder...

At some point, you run out of "try harder". Try harder machine broke. I'm just exhausted all the time now. My life is plagued with physical exhaustion.

^{Apparently some parts of the U.S. government think Autism is curable!}
"This Wisconsin man with autism was 'devastated' after Social Security told him to pay back $35K. Is the system broken?"

I'm diagnosed ASD-1 with an additional note I satisfy the criteria formerly associated with Asperger's. And I now realize that I was very, very lucky. Multiple beneficial happenstances collectively allowed me to successfully work a superficially traditional full-time life.

...but I was still weird. ^{And I still am!}

I say...
Let them be.

Let them be lonely, let them be struggling...
Let them be look for a representation that inspires or give them voice.

Let them be mourn and miss what they never have, regardless if they're conditioned to or if that's what they really desire.

Let them be dependent. Let them be lament over the label.

Let them be rant about the label.

Try to outgrow the aspects around autism and being autistic.
Ideologies, concepts and ideas, the usual patterns and expectations, their common life trajectories...

And even any narratives around it, personal and impersonal; how it is a gift, how it is a disability, how other people perceives it, etc.

Let them be.

Focus elsewhere.
Go beyond autism. You will not need these people.

Because you won't find anything of what you're looking for unless your goal is to understand them, or find more anecdotals.

Let them be play around the common narratives, common assumptions, common expectations around the concept of autism.

Outgrow the need to match stories.
Liberate yourself.



When I first came here, I came to understand myself. I was a burnout 15 year old.

But when I overcame some of my grievances and immaturity...

... I had rapidly outgrown a lot of things.
And found quickly how I cannot relate. Thus I sought why is this...

Not because I was "less disabled" or "more functioning", because I outgrown those concepts, made it less all about being autistic and know how it is really tied to me as a whole.

I get the whole feeling of getting sick of reading the same stories, over and over... Thus I get the sentiment.

Made being able and unable irrelevant.
To what my idea of success, to my aspirations, to ways of how I will survive...

I say, don't let yourself be stuck.



Let them be kept saying it's their own autism that made them the way they had.

Go beyond it.
I had discovered that a lot of what held me back isn't even autism.

Let them keep their own misattributions if they made it. It's their life.

You have yours, you have your own discernment on which is which...

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I guess you better aim for Level 1 or, better yet, less.

The thing is, it's not easy to accept that you're actually disabled by your disability.

Like, sure, I can say "autism is a disability". And like, that status exists to protect me, it exists to protect you, it exists to protect autistic people. It means you have access to legal protections in the workplace, that you cannot be legally discriminated against based on either having a disability, or people believing that you do. (US based here. Citing ADA law.)

That's not necessarily the same as being disabled enough that you need government disability pay.

But that's where I am, if I cannot hold down a full time job, or if doing so has severe consequences for my health. I need to care for myself somehow.
I don't see this as accepting defeat, I see it as practicality. Also, I'd rather not be dead by 40 because working full time also means I have no spoons remaining to take charge of keeping my diabetes in check. I am finally getting my diabetes under control now that I don't have to rest simply to go back to work in 12 hours.

We get enough of this s**t from neurotypicals, man.

Working was getting me to where I did not really care much about my mortality. I'd see doctors, I'd do what they said, but the prospect of death wasn't that disturbing. I was quite unhappy.

Then I retired.

The trip was not pleasant, but it turned out to just be a means to an end.

The end is nice.

Persevere. Endure the unhappiness because it is a transient phenomena on the path to better things.

It was worth the trip through darkness.