About age 11, back in 1970, I was diagnosed with what is now ADHD, dyslexia and minimal brain damage. Without services, I just did what I could to cope and survive. I denied, avoided, and ignored and buried the stress and pain so deep I could recognize it any more. It all fell apart about 7 years ago when I looked deeply into Asperger Syndrome. There I saw everything in my life I had been trying to run and hide from. It was a crisis, but a relief from the running. It took about 4 years to do all the soul searching and research, self-education etc, to try and understand Autism but less so the ADHD and dyslexia. I was fairly comfortable where I was until about 6 or so months ago when I had a communication / social problem at work that threatened my job. I did get a job coach.. who has been support and help. But this has thrown me back into something I did not have to deal with after my diagnosis. Feeling all those feelings I had back in school of being "on the wrong planet" . Now I'm having to deal with it now and at age 66 it is a strange place to be. Feeling its the world against me.. I'm the broken one again. Its also put a stress on me that is either making my traits worse or my awareness of them increase. Its hard to go back to that time in my life I've said I'd never want to go back to. I know " This too shall pass" and I may be the better for going through it. But it still sucks! I'm just sort of reaching out to you all who know what I'm talking about. Its good just to know I'm NOT the only one on this planet.
Yesterday, 3:53 pm
