Why am I accused of arguing all the time?

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I say something. Someone argues with me about it. I respond. The person says I am arguing.

It might (hypothetically) stem from how you communicate, not that I'm making an accusation given that I'm not familiar with how you communicate.

I also get accused of arguing or trying to argue in situations where I don't really feel that's true. I also notice people respond as though they're seeking to argue in situations where I wasn't really intending on getting drawn into a debate, but if I accuse them of seeking to argue it's possible that I'm just doing the same thing.

Laying one's thoughts and the reasoning behind them out in a clear manner is often grounds for being accused of trying argue and it's not entirely unfair given that's how one constructs a reasonable argument.

If both parties in a discussion are communicating their perspectives in that manner it might appear their discussion is an argument or a debate. Ultimately the boundary between an argument/debate and a discussion isn't discrete. Beyond that, sometimes if someone's making an argument poorly and your response eviscerates their poor argument, accusing you of trying to argue can serve to put you on the back foot because now you're worried about being rude instead of being correct and now you're less likely to address their humbug (aka BS).

No you're not.

Usually people mean that the conversation feels hostile, like there's a confrontation. They may have just wanted to say their piece and move on, but then you responded in detail. They may just need more reassurance, a quieter and more gentle tone, etc. Think about how you're try to speak to a young child - hopefully gently and without blame or condescension.

Even if they are doing the opposite of that, matching them will likely mean they feel more stressed and defensive. After all, they already felt as they do before you matched them. Giving them more to deal with by imitating them will mean the situation becomes even harder for them. Pointing out the hypocrisy or telling them they're also arguing won't give them new deescalation and emotional self regulation skills.

I've gotten this before myself. " Stop being difficult" " Stop arguing"