I still feel like single people are narrowing
Despite knowing there are maybe a lot of people living with parents and single, I still feel like it's narrowing and that meeting anyone who is single is getting smaller as people are getting into their 30s. It always seems to come across to me that people start to rush things in their 30s when it comes to marriage, kids and so on.
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
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Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I mean for people who do want kids and such, if they have not had them by their 30's they can be in a rush, as women can have menopause as early as 40 to where they would not be able to have a kid. so if they want one and havent had one by 30 it would make sense they sort of want to get on with it sooner than later. with a right partner of course but yeah. I figure if say me and my boyfriend broke up....and I was starting over dating at 35 I'd be running into a lot more potential partners that have kids or want them sooner than later so my requirement of not wanting kids and not wanting to be a step-mom, would certainly further limit my pool of potential dating partners. BUt there are still lots of millenial aged people who don't want kids but would like a meaningful long term relationship. But yeah for 30+ year olds who don't have kids but want them, for sure they may want to make that happen sooner than later and its ok if you don't want to commit to something like that....but there are also pleanty 30+ year old people who don't want children and don't already have any. Not every 30+ has kids or wants them.
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I mean for people who do want kids and such, if they have not had them by their 30's they can be in a rush, as women can have menopause as early as 40 to where they would not be able to have a kid. so if they want one and havent had one by 30 it would make sense they sort of want to get on with it sooner than later. with a right partner of course but yeah. I figure if say me and my boyfriend broke up....and I was starting over dating at 35 I'd be running into a lot more potential partners that have kids or want them sooner than later so my requirement of not wanting kids and not wanting to be a step-mom, would certainly further limit my pool of potential dating partners. BUt there are still lots of millenial aged people who don't want kids but would like a meaningful long term relationship. But yeah for 30+ year olds who don't have kids but want them, for sure they may want to make that happen sooner than later and its ok if you don't want to commit to something like that....but there are also pleanty 30+ year old people who don't want children and don't already have any. Not every 30+ has kids or wants them.
There is still a strong part of my brain that doesn't want children of my own but my concern is I'm worried that I'll end up regretting it years down the line and I don't want to have those regrets because I seem to think I've heard from some women who had children because of people's concerns that if they don't they might regret it later on because they are focusing on careers etc. I wasn't at all thinking at all when I was younger about kids and nor am I now but I feel like there is this pressure to think now otherwise 10 years later it will be too late. I seem to think older fathers who get the stigma for still having kids.
My advice (for what it's worth) is don't believe the hype. the amount of pressure on me to get married and have kids was always there. I imagined that naturally other parents would gravitate to us and it would make my family bonds closer and we would all be part of something special like fully embraced members of the community. Once we had our daughter we found ourselves largely on our own, and to make things harder when my daughter turned out to have autism people could not run away fast enough. So this has been a journey that we have taken with little or no support from others. My family could not care less about our personal struggles.
Its easy for people to judge you when you don't have kids and make it you are not doing your bit for society. But those same people who put pressure on you are not always going to be there when you have a child. I have made zero friends with other parents (for whatever reason). Its a scam.
Seems to be two themes in this post. In addition to kids, people who remain single after they are 30 (in some cultures called leftovers) become less flexible and more fixed in their ways. I'm in my late 50s and often find you can run into other people of similar age to me walking their dogs and (sure) they will stop and chat about the weather or ask what's my dogs name but everyone is "busy". Its amusing I have a neighbour who when he sees me always asks "lets catch up for coffee", Its been many years now, I've seen him plenty of times having coffee down at the local cafe with the rest of the street
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
My point is people are harder to make friends with as they get older. I think even if they are single they put up more barriers so its harder to make meaningful relationships. Just my obervation, it might be different for other people.
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