Is it weird that I find trying to make friends is a hassle?

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I find trying to make friends drives me crazy. I've been in this virtual autistic peer group before and I have no idea what to say, I can't remember people's names, and I drooped out of the group more than a year ago. I have friends but they are mostly online and I haven't made a real life friend in over 10 years. Do of you have similar experiences?

Weird?... Not in Wrong Planet.

Edit...oh...and welcome aboard the WP train

I dislike interacting in large groups, personally. I can enjoy it with one or two people besides myself. More than that and I am likely quietly listening to people.

About the only time I can talk effectively to more than one person is in a medical setting

Friends online is good. You are doing great.

It's not unusual, if one just:

- Doesn't feel like it. And just do so because it's an assumed prescription to have friends. It's no different than pretending to look forward to something.

- Being a perfectionist. Just being a perfectionist. Or at least the persona one wants to present themselves as a friend doesn't match with who they are or not leading to that. Doesn't matter the social motivation or emotional need behind it; be it people pleasing or this ego driven "stubbornness".

- Overall lack of balance. One doesn't know what they want out of it and one doesn't know how much to give. Sometimes this neglected which is somewhat understandable if one wants a 'more authentic relation'. But often times to those who socially and emotionally prospect, this is overthought and overdone making it more of a hassle.

- Invisible inner barriers. Could be related to self worth or a psychological issue. Could be confidence issue of any source. It can very much be language barriers, cognitive communication related processing or memory problems. Or the combination of any of these.


I don't know what to say either.
I just make more noise and make random remarks. Maybe react and respond to a random remark or two. Others do the same more or less.
Doesn't matter if I happened to butt in occasionally. But half the time, better gauge if a convo is more or less worth joining in.

I don't actively seek friendship.
I socialize because I'm bored. To me it's no different than just playing with another different types of hobbies because I need stimulation.

Any relation out of it, however slightly amiable and where it would lead, is a bonus to me.

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It requires a lot of energy and effort to socialize out in the real world unless it’s with a group of people who share one or more of your special interests. Look for those people.

You can find people online and in r/l by joining and/or volunteering with your special interest gatherings. Volunteering doesn’t have to be religious, btw.

Thank you for suggesting volunteering. I already do volunteer but I actually nervous about socializing with people because I'm afraid I will get rejected and I don't have great social skills or self esteem. But thank you.