Masking Is Unsustainable and Imposes Unfair Standards on oth

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Imposes Unfair Standards on Other Autists. Sorry, the title ran out

I view masking as a tool to get things. It needs to be thought of in that way.

The problems occur when you do it so much that you lose sight that you are using a tool and start believing the mask is who you are.

I don’t have the superpower that makes any masking I do negatively affect my neurokin.

I think one of the problems with masking as an openly autistic person is that it makes allistic people think autistic people can "improve" and get less autistic if they just put in the effort. They don't realize that it's acting, takes a lot of hard work and is not a natural behaviour. That said, I mask a lot myself to avoid getting into trouble and not annoy people.

I agree. I also think the expectation that we behave in a certain way is ugly.
However there are a lot of uneducated people in the world, and
many of those people cannot eat easily, let alone learn to be tolerant.
So there are always going to be environments where masking will save you
a lot of trouble, so It must be a useful skill.

If you think about it like learning a language it can be ok, just not
the be-all end-all of your identity.

Further, there are some aspects of NT thinking and communication that are actually real advantages,
for example modelling other people's minds. So it's good for the Autist to be humble
and understand that this can be a weakness and where possible take it into account.
So it's not just a matter of demanding people respect you and communicate in a certain way,
different styles for different situations. Eg maybe NT is better for sales or doing a negotiation, but
autist is better at experimental physics.

I do not believe in the concept of "masking" because from where I sit so far, it appears to be lying.
I certainly could be wrong, 100 percent wrong, but my policy is to just be real, be honest and be open to the world as much as is practical.

I do realize that the official definition is the conscious or unconscious actions of an autistic person trying to modify their behavior to appear more "neurotypical" but in the end it's almost never anything like that in practice, which is why I cannot buy into acceptance of it as a valid concept.
It's more wishful thinking and bad acting from what I can gather.

Masking is the interface between the autistic and NT world.

Without it life would be harder for us.

Not that it’s not stressful

Some of us didn't have a choice. Some of us weren't aware that there was even a name for what we have. Some of us had to pretend not to be ourselves to avoid abuse. Some of us may never be able to receive proper care because we seem "too smart to be autistic" or "don't sound autistic." Some of us can't even find acceptance in many ASD communities because our very practiced masking, or inability to take the mask off, causes us to come across as "tourists" or "ablists."
It's pretty wild to see a marginalized community slip so easily into "othering" their own members for something that is not entirely under their control.

It is fairly typical for a number of reasons.

Internalized prejudice
Those with more obvious traits can remind those with less obvious traits of what they are ashamed of about themselves.
Those with more obvious traits may feel jealous of those with less obvious traits and resentful when the latter group takes pride in accomplishments those with more obvious traits can’t obtain.

It’s personal making people passionate about the subject and more inclined to see others with differing views as traitors, fakers, and receiving undeserved help.

An example of this phenomenon much in news is the is the fight between some feminists and trans rights activists.


Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I don't see it as lying, it's more a natural process of adjusting to suit oneself to the environment. If growing up one receives a lot of negative feedback on one's behaviour, it's possible to learn how to suppress certain behaviours or divert them to avoid so many negative consequences, to protect oneself.

A basic ability to mask has been a godsend for me in enabling me to pursue a career. It gives me a bit of breathing space while a new employer still thinks I'm NT to be able to demonstrate my worth to the company, before they realise I'm different and they've got an autistic on their hands. By the time they realise, I might be past the probation period and harder to fire.

I'm betraying other autistics by doing this? I don't think so. It is actually educational for an employer to see that they have an autist in the books who can still fulfil the basic requirements of the job - and even perform better than NTs in some ways. My hope is that educating employers will help those who cannot mask to get work also.

And the tick analogy is gross.

If masking is lying then everybody who comes to work in a shirt and tie, instead of the hoodie and ripped jeans they prefer is lying.

Pretty much everybody does it but when NT’s do it they call it “acting professional” or “trying to make an impression”. It is harder for us and we need to do it more often.