Sister

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My sister told me that she threw her back out and couldn't drive to my house today so I had to take two buses and a train to get there. Time, money and energy. My sister (45) was walking slowly and limping but otherwise appeared the same as usual. (Things are not always the way they appear). She was a medical doctor for 15 years. Last year she said she stopped working because of her 13 year old daughter. I didn't ask any questions because I am autistic and don't want to say something wrong. Her husband is an electrical engineer. They live in an expensive area and fancy house. They have two kids. I don't understand how they can continue to afford it financially after losing a doctors income. However I didn't have the nerve to ask because I was afraid she might overreact. Our parents died ten and five years ago. 45 is not young but seeing her limping like that made me afraid my own health will get worse than that because I am already 41. Middle aged. She is close to my height and weight. There is no reason why I would be a lot stronger than her. I have been working at home Depot for four years and counting. Pushing carts and loading merchandise. When I can't do that anymore I won't have a stream of income. Government benefits not guaranteed permanent or sufficient. I don't even have enough work credits, s**t.

I have only worked minimum wage, unskilled labor jobs. The longest amount of time I have had a job is four years. The second longest, five months, when I was 18. Bad work history. Long periods of unemployment. Got made redundant plenty of times

Sooner or later I will be injured, old, and disabled.

Seriously regret not getting my autism diagnosis before 18, not working younger, and getting made redundant from so many dumpster fire "jobs" s**t

my sister did not tell me what her daughter did that forced her to quit her job. i didn't ask, but i am curious, b/c medical doctor is not just "any old job". medical school costs a lot of $$$ and often doctors go into debt. how does she pay for student debt, much less rent, utilities, transportation, health insurance, and education? and her kids.

but WTF ever, i didn't ask b/c i didn't want her to say i was rude.

but my sister owns the house i have been living in, so i am afraid that she will sell the house and i will end up homeless.

i feel so vulnerable/fragile, s**t.

i am so f*****g thankful to have my sister and her husband.

it would've $$$$ to hire someone to fix the sink, dryer, and computer.

yesterday my sister texted to tell me to scrub the litterbox and mess hall and vacuum the hallway

today, no work.

scrubbed litterbox and vacumed hallway.

too tired. going to clean mess hall next week.

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i'm glad she doesn't tell me to scrub the kennel more often, and have higher standards.

on the other hand, 9:30-5 bed. breakfast, bowel movement, stretched. nap from 7 to 10am. bowel movement. jogging. bus. food maxx. laundry. lunch.

did not have enough time or energy to do anything fun today, s**t.

wish i didn't have to sleep so much and didn't have to waste so much time litterboxing, s**t.

yesterday my sister told me that i am getting a new garbage can next week.

my sister used to be a medical doctor at kaiser for 15 years. last year according to linkedin, she stopped working there and she isn't working anywhere else.

her husband is an electrical engineer. they live in a high rent area. i don't understand how one person financially supports four people. on the other hand, plenty of people do that and they earn much less than electrical engineers.

i am afraid my sister will sell the house that i work in, b/c she's not working right now, (or for any other reason) and then i will end up homeless.

my sister said she quit her job b/c of her 12 year old daughter. she wasn't more specific and i didn't ask b/c i didn't wanna say something she thought was "rude" b/c if she thought it was rude she might "punish" me by selling the house.

(rolls eyes)

but seriously, what could a 12 year old possibly have done to physically force her mom to quit her job as a physician?

If a kid is struggling with some serious issue, that can be extremely stressful for parents. It would make a lot of sense for some to decide to focus on the kid and cut corners elsewhere wherever possible. Sometimes that would involve leaving a stressful job so as to have more time and energy to care for themselves and the child. 12 can be a very difficult age. Choosing not to pry was probably a good decision on your part.

twilight princess

any age "can be a very difficult age." 8 billion precious lil "people" in the solar system.

not everyone that has minor children that are "struggling with some serious issue" quits their jobs.

when i was 12, i had to deal with plenty of "serious issues": bullying, "parents" made me take the SAT, going through puberty (despite not being cisgender), autism. my "parents" never quit their jobs so they would have more time & energy for me.

according to the internet, a family of four needs over $149,100 a year to not be low income in their city.

according to the internet, someone with my sister's husband's job title at his company earns $164K–$249K per year. which is a large range.

i do not understand how they pay for anything.

on the other hand, almost everyone appears to be making a lot of expensive purchases while not earning enough $$$ to justify the purchases.

so whatever.
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my sister emailed to tell me to look for the wifi router and i looked and could not find it. only found the adapter.

on thursday she emailed that she and her husband were coming over on saturday.

on saturday she didn't come.

sunday/yesterday she came. as usual, i was @ work. she texted me:

wifi password.
she/they fixed the front door lock

she returned 53 of my 75 library books. i wasn't finished reading them and i didn't ask her to return them. now i have to go get more. that's just time & energy. @ least they don't cost $$$.

she threw away my water bottles. work gives them out for free.

been printing a lot of pages from the library (for free) with photos and things like that. put them on a stack on a chair in the bedroom. now the whole stack is gone. (rolls eyes). it's REALLY not like her to be a "busybody" or anything like that. i put my medical documents, tax documents, and work documents into clearly marked drawers. it makes me wanna puke how some precious lil "people" have the nerve to do whatever they want and then try to justify it with "i am trying to help you". (self righteous lil "karens")

haven't noticed anything else. maybe i will notice something is missing when i look for it.

she "asked" me to scrub the barracks and i did and then took photos.

there is no great reason why the barracks or anything else needs to be that clean, and it is not that dirty either. scrubbing takes way too much energy, and after my morning nap i was sore and exhausted. 41 and only getting older. i am not going to be able to handle Lot Attendant (or any other "job" ) for much longer.

government benefits not guaranteed, sufficient, or permanent. and i don't have enough work credits for social security benefits.

I didn’t claim that any age can’t be difficult.

12 tends to be challenging for a lot of people, though, because of the many issues that can pop up around the age of puberty. It seems like you’re quick to be dismissive about your sister quitting her job when you don’t know the reasons behind it or what your niece is currently dealing with.

The point of my post was that there are plenty of reasons why a parent might decide quitting their job to focus on their kid would be a good idea. We aren’t really in a position to judge situations like that unless we know the entire situation.

I also didn’t say that “everyone” whose kid is struggling quits their job. Not every problem is equally complex (or dangerous) and not every parent has the same ability when it comes to managing stress. The ability we do have can vary over the course of our lives due to internal and external factors. All that’s to demonstrate why judging your sister’s experience based on your own childhood may not be useful if your goal is to understand what’s going on with her and her family.

why did my sister return my library books? i didn't ask her to. she texted me "you need to stop hoarding library books." "hoarding"? the library allows 75 books checked out per patron at a time. and i do end up reading them, it just takes a long time.

are the library books a fire hazard? my sister is a medical doctor. certainly she has more than 75 books.

is it b/c other patrons can't check out the books while i have them?

my sister didn't explain and i didn't ask.

my sister has always been calm, logical, functional, and refined; and i am not that great. but when i got home from work on sunday, my house looked like a bomb hit it.

and why does my house have to be clean? i'm the only one living there. my health is not that bad.

and why did she throw away the water bottles? i get them free from work, but i can only take one a day. just one more thing i have to remember. (rolls eyes)

and she threw away a stack of library printouts that were on a chair. they had photos of things like food. i am paranoid she will unintentionally or intentionally throw away something more important.

annoying but i am afraid to say anything b/c she might overreact and sell the house and then i will be homeless.

which is pretty much the story of my "life".
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