How did you find a good therapist?

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I'm struggling to find a good online therapist. Also I'm not sure what's the definition of "good" and maybe I was unlucky in my previous experiences. As of today, these things triggered me to fire the two previous therapists:

- looking at the phone while I'm talking, if only for 2 seconds
- saying something along the lines of "philosophy is not important for my job"
- focusing on "searching deeper" in a Jungian way as opposed to actually trying to understand what I was talking about
- not taking notes
- not having a plan for what we were going to do and how, just wanting to talk and talk and talk (and getting paid)

I should say that I worked with both therapists before I knew about ASD, and in fact they were not taking me seriously when I was telling them all the things that now make perfect sense. They didn't even think about that possibility. That surely shows how hard they were trying.

Any suggestions??

Could this help?

I found that I had to just try a few out. Many Therapists offer a free 20-30 min session to see if things work before going further.

Maybe, if you have a friend that is attending therapy you could ask him/her who they visit. You could ask your friend to ask their mental health professional for a referral to another counselor/therapist ect.

I was referred to my current counselor by a family member who had a good experience with their services.

One last point, if you are looking for a male therapist it may take longer since mental health is a female dominated industry. So that's just something to keep in mind when looking.

Best of luck with your search

Cheers,

CFL

Hey.

I've been seeing my current therapist pretty continuously for over 12 years or so. (To be fair, I stopped seeing her for perhaps 6 months because I couldn't afford it at the time.) I am aware that for a therapeutic relationship of this kind to go on for this long is a little rare. (And yes, it has always been very professional.)

After having been around the block a few times with different therapists, I think what it comes down to is the 'chemistry' between the two of you. Can you trust your therapist enough to be vulnerable? (they have to show they deserve this trust, imo). Do you think she/he understands where you're coming from? Do you think they may have the skills to help you? And these answers may depend on the individual client.

Yes, I think it is harder for autists to find a therapist they can 'gel' with, but don't give up looking if you see glimmers of light. My therapist has been a source of clarity and sometimes healing for me. One downside: I do wish she wasn't as expensive, but 1) my government sponsors me and 2) she IS very experienced and skilled. Also, a few of the sessions can be downright illuminating, but some can be a bit more mundane. I think that's OK - that's probably as good as it gets.

So overall, one happy customer here.

Good luck.

P.S. my counsellor was recommended by my GP (doctor).