Do you prefer hiding your gender online?
I only try to hide at places (apps) if I received a lot of messages from scammers. Changing my avatar or info to a more neutral one discouraged scammers. I didn't like being a women when I was young and more androgynous. As I aged and matured (and became curvy) I've accepted that being feminine is OK. My mind will always be rather masculine, but my female hormones dominate a lot of my interests and behaviors.
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AQ score: 44
Aspie mom to two autistic sons (21 & 20 )
I usually prefer to at least disclose versus it being immediately obvious, especially on male dominated websites. I don't post pictures etc nor do I have a very girly writing style- or I don't think so anyway- so I don't get a lot of creepy reactions regardless. Sometimes there's bad, unoriginal jokes if I delved into the neckbeard corner of the internet, which I don't really mind. Part of me does wish that they would at least come up with their own bad jokes about a girl talking to them internet, if one must be made.
I do like being kind of an amorphous blob online where people will engage with my ideas directly. Otherwise, many react based my perceived identity traits. Often people still end up making assumptions, like that I must be a man if I disagree with them. Somehow this annoys me more than stereotyping me based on my true traits. Still, I don't like for people to validate my ideas or listen to me only because they think my perceived identity trait means I deserve that.
I've ended up in incel adjacent communities online and the discussions when they realize I'm a woman are funny. They're all prepared for a fight. Then they don't know what to do when I politely disagree with them, like with a joke or similar, and then continue talking to them normally. I wouldn't want these types of communities to be able to seek me out, however. This is one of those situations where being able to disclose when it's relevant is nice.
If gender wasn't displayed next to the username on wrongplanet, I suppose my approach here would somewhat standard. I would leave the gender information in my profile or not choose one, but my profile picture is a fish and my username is a fish genus. Not exactly a secret, but many wouldn't notice and I'm not going to excite random creeps with an ancient fish. Since I did have to choose a gender, I however wouldn't choose a false one, as I detest lying.
ArticVixen
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 14 Apr 2024
Gender: Female
Posts: 55
Location: Washington State
Normally I don't but the only time I did was on a kink site which I used to recieve creepy messages from horny men on an old account on there.
Funny enough I did receive a condescending and misogynistic insult from a mean girl in the chatroom on my current account despite my orientation being set to "other." She intentionally called me "sweetie" when she was tired of me venting. Despite the fact she often brings up relationship woes...
And then there the incel communities who can't understand why women aren't attracted to them and then they do things like laugh at a woman who is crying. Seriously.
And then there's the fact that people seem to think women aren't on the internet at *all*, and they talk about us as if we aren't even there. It's really annoying and it's something I know I will have to put up with until the day I stop using internet, which likely won't be for a very long time.
lame, if someone likes the same hobby treat them with respect
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