Are hookups and casual sex the norm when you're young?

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chris1989
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06 Mar 2025, 9:29 am

I sometimes feel bad because of the lack of experience but doesn't appeal to me to hookup and have sex with someone casually who I don't know well. It just feels as though it's the norm for people when they are young. It also feels as though everyone during the college and uni years were having sex casually whereas in my 20s I wasn't. I also seem to get quite worried about stories I hear about sexually transmitted diseases which I know can be prevented with protection but that still doesn't stop my concerns about it.



babybird
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06 Mar 2025, 12:15 pm

Yeah STDs are enough to put me off too


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SabbraCadabra
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06 Mar 2025, 7:00 pm

Pretty sure I'm demisexual, so no hookups for me =)
The whole idea never really appealed to me at all.


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Mikurotoro92
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06 Mar 2025, 7:52 pm

I do NOT participate in one-night stands!! !

Even when I was single because it's immoral and risky!

I made the correct choice to wait for the right man to give myself up to



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07 Mar 2025, 3:42 pm

They can be, but that doesn't mean they will be for everyone.


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nick007
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07 Mar 2025, 7:37 pm

I think that was more common a couple decades ago in the US, IDK about other countries. Some reasons why include :arrow: There were more places to go & meet people offline. The economy was slightly better so people were not working as much & had more money to spend going out & doing stuff. Workplaces were less concerned about employees & management having flings & dating. There was more digital privacy so it was easier to cheat on partners without them finding out & it was harder for abusers to stalk people. With online dating & hookups the term Catfishing was not in use so some people may of been a bit less wary about that. Abortion services & birth-control were more assailable in some places.


I never found the idea of that kind of stuff appealing. I'd much rather have a relationship without sex than sex without a relationship. However when I was single if I had the right opportunity to do a hookup I'd might of done it due to curiosity & sever loneliness.


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Texasmoneyman300
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Yesterday, 1:30 am

chris1989 wrote:
I sometimes feel bad because of the lack of experience but doesn't appeal to me to hookup and have sex with someone casually who I don't know well. It just feels as though it's the norm for people when they are young. It also feels as though everyone during the college and uni years were having sex casually whereas in my 20s I wasn't. I also seem to get quite worried about stories I hear about sexually transmitted diseases which I know can be prevented with protection but that still doesn't stop my concerns about it.

It was the norm for people I grew up with but I never did it because I am church of Christ and never will.



MaxE
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Yesterday, 2:51 pm

Until my early 30s, I sometimes got into situations where I and another person became physically intimate, without having established a relationship. In those cases, both I and the other person had no other willing sex partners and found we were comfortable getting naked together and having intercourse or indulging in intercourse-adjacent activity. And having done it once, we continued to get together for that purpose, because for many people sex is better than no sex. So the thought of doing it once then never seeing that person again didn't occur to us. Admittedly, those situations sometimes ended badly, but a lot of people are willing to indulge in sex for its own sake. I don't consider such situations to be hookups but I guess they're casual if the two people are having sex for its own sake rather than as part of a relationship. Some people are willing to do this and others aren't.

By the time I got into my early 30s, I was less inclined to do this and actually turned down a couple of people who came onto me (including one I had "dated" previously but then dumped me) because by then I was less interested in a situation for which I didn't see much future.

TBH for men at least, if they don't get to the point I got to in my early 30s, they aren't 100% ready for marriage.


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Mikurotoro92
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Yesterday, 5:11 pm

Sex without being in the context of a committed relationship takes away the connection

What's the point?



MaxE
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Yesterday, 5:48 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Sex without being in the context of a committed relationship takes away the connection

What's the point?

For some people, sex is its own point. Other people are like you.


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nick007
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Yesterday, 7:13 pm

Some people really enjoy sex weather there's a connection or not. Plus some people find sex more exciting when they barely know each other. Different people like & dislike different things.


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TwilightPrincess
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Yesterday, 8:18 pm

I don’t experience sexual attraction for people I’m not really into/interested in romantically, so hookups and casual sex aren’t for me. There’s nothing wrong with either of those things, though! We like what we like.


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Carbonhalo
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Yesterday, 8:53 pm

I'm thinking a key part of the thread title is "When you're young", in which case the answer is generally "YES !" <Insert enthusiasm here>
In my decrepitude I wish that still applied.



TwilightPrincess
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Yesterday, 9:54 pm

When I was young, I didn’t even fully understand the concept of hookups and casual sex. In addition to my own preferences which haven’t changed apart from being more wary about trusting people, I was very sheltered. It took me a while to understand what physical attraction was because it’s not something I ever experienced. Well, I find everyone attractive once I get to know them and like who they are as people, but I’m attracted to personalities. Until I know someone well and am interested in them romantically, I’ve always preferred the idea of going solo.

With vibrators, there’s a 100% chance I’ll enjoy it unless it goes dead. If there’s an emotional connection, I’d probably still enjoy sex even if it was underwhelming from a purely sexual standpoint.


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Today, 12:59 am

chris1989 wrote:
I sometimes feel bad because of the lack of experience but doesn't appeal to me to hookup and have sex with someone casually who I don't know well. It just feels as though it's the norm for people when they are young. It also feels as though everyone during the college and uni years were having sex casually whereas in my 20s I wasn't. I also seem to get quite worried about stories I hear about sexually transmitted diseases which I know can be prevented with protection but that still doesn't stop my concerns about it.


You don't need to penetrate to have sex/good time.