Masking Is Unsustainable and Imposes Unfair Standards on oth

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Imposes Unfair Standards on Other Autists. Sorry, the title ran out

I view masking as a tool to get things. It needs to be thought of in that way.

The problems occur when you do it so much that you lose sight that you are using a tool and start believing the mask is who you are.

I don’t have the superpower that makes any masking I do negatively affect my neurokin.

I think one of the problems with masking as an openly autistic person is that it makes allistic people think autistic people can "improve" and get less autistic if they just put in the effort. They don't realize that it's acting, takes a lot of hard work and is not a natural behaviour. That said, I mask a lot myself to avoid getting into trouble and not annoy people.

I agree. I also think the expectation that we behave in a certain way is ugly.
However there are a lot of uneducated people in the world, and
many of those people cannot eat easily, let alone learn to be tolerant.
So there are always going to be environments where masking will save you
a lot of trouble, so It must be a useful skill.

If you think about it like learning a language it can be ok, just not
the be-all end-all of your identity.

Further, there are some aspects of NT thinking and communication that are actually real advantages,
for example modelling other people's minds. So it's good for the Autist to be humble
and understand that this can be a weakness and where possible take it into account.
So it's not just a matter of demanding people respect you and communicate in a certain way,
different styles for different situations. Eg maybe NT is better for sales or doing a negotiation, but
autist is better at experimental physics.

I do not believe in the concept of "masking" because from where I sit so far, it appears to be lying.
I certainly could be wrong, 100 percent wrong, but my policy is to just be real, be honest and be open to the world as much as is practical.

I do realize that the official definition is the conscious or unconscious actions of an autistic person trying to modify their behavior to appear more "neurotypical" but in the end it's almost never anything like that in practice, which is why I cannot buy into acceptance of it as a valid concept.
It's more wishful thinking and bad acting from what I can gather.

Masking is the interface between the autistic and NT world.

Without it life would be harder for us.

Not that it’s not stressful

Some of us didn't have a choice. Some of us weren't aware that there was even a name for what we have. Some of us had to pretend not to be ourselves to avoid abuse. Some of us may never be able to receive proper care because we seem "too smart to be autistic" or "don't sound autistic." Some of us can't even find acceptance in many ASD communities because our very practiced masking, or inability to take the mask off, causes us to come across as "tourists" or "ablists."
It's pretty wild to see a marginalized community slip so easily into "othering" their own members for something that is not entirely under their control.

If masking is lying then everybody who comes to work in a shirt and tie, instead of the hoodie and ripped jeans they prefer is lying.

Pretty much everybody does it but when NT’s do it they call it “acting professional” or “trying to make an impression”. It is harder for us and we need to do it more often.

My perception is there are expectations to communicate effectively. How we communicate can determine the quality of our life, so maybe we should put in the effort to learn how to communicate effectively. Another example I can think of is the expectation of dressing in a certain manner to a formal function. I wouldn’t show up in my jogging suit and running shoes. I think of communication as the same expectation and need to adjust to the situation I am in. Being able to navigate the communication landmines effectively is something I want to achieve. I still find it annoying to listen to neurotypical communication styles for any length of time and get impatient. I am working on this.

I fail to see how blaming people who are better equipped for socially functioning, or more capable of making the effort required in order to socially function is a solution to anything.

You and your interests are irrelevant to those people, instead they're just trying to survive, which they're 100% entitled to do.

Autistics who "can" aren't the problem.

The problem is said tool is how it's advertised as "success" without the nuance of how it can cost a person to do it.

The very type that appeals to neurotypicals and integration to their societies into approval while disregarding the human that makes the work.

The kinds that even appeals to a lot of human ideations that many autistics are deprived of to a point of envy as it is associated with the gateway into "having" relationships, careers and safety.


I completely understand the sentiment even at a very young age before I even knew there's a word for it.

But I dug deep enough about the topic that itself, a tool, is as much of a sacrifice that made look like an investment.

And I say I do not envy them who can and forced to "sacrifice" in most of their waking life to keep up whatever they fear or appeal to, regardless of the outcome that brought it.


But yeah, I would definitely hate the idea of convincing every autistics to forced (let alone bullied into) to do this kind of strategy as if the same as those who can afford to.

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