Xaydn wrote:
Hello, all. I am brand new to aspergers, having only recently been lead to the diagnosis. I am 48 and have struggled with everything that comes along with autism. I have never been able to hold a job for more than a few months, and I have struggled with the social aspect of life, and all of the horrible situations that this has created for my life. I have spent my entire life thinking I was lesser than others, and I have picked up some horrible behavior characteristics (forming BPD as a mask) to try my very best to fit in and be accepted just for who I am. I came from a very toxic family and was raised by two narcissistic abusers, and an older sibling who was also a narcissistic abuser. I have PTSD just from my childhood alone. I am just now trying to figure who I am, and this has lead me to the discovery of me being neurodivergent. I have always known something was different about me, but never knowing what it was, but being so obviously different lead me to some pretty serious identity problems. I knew I couldn't just be myself. So, I learned to mirror. I mastered this art of masking. But, I never formed my own individual personality; or that's how it felt not too long ago. I am handling this new information well. It actually made it all make perfect sense to me. For the very first time in my life I felt I understood myself.
So, anyways, that's the nutshell of my story.
It is nice to be here. I have zero support system and just needed a place where I felt like I belonged (for a change).
So, here I am.
I hope this will bring some more clarity to all of this. I don't fully understand all of it, but I do know that my brain is wired for a different frequency. I'm cool with it, and honestly I wouldn't change it for the world. I am proud of this, and who I truly am.
Thanks for reading.
welcome
shared joy is twice the joy but shared sorrow is half a sorrow
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