Something's wrong with me lately

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I feel separate from my emotions. I cannot explain them. I cannot express them. I can experience happiness and all of the emotions. I just feel so disconnected. I can know what I am feeling. I just cannot understand or tell people if I need to. Something's separate in my mind and body. Honestly sometimes it feels like I have access to a part of my mind that I don't normally, and then it locks up and I forget that part.

I have 2 people who control my thoughts is what it feels like. They punish me when I talk about them. In that I get lightheaded, am at a loss for words, or just can't move properly. Everytime I try to tell them they don't exist or are a symptom. They get upset. I don't hear them out loud, just telepathically. They show up at inconvenient times, or when I'm trying to sleep or focus on something else. It's exhausting and makes me mad. One of them wants to be seen and gets mad when they think they should be. It comes out as me getting mad. Then the other actually appears me to sometimes. I blame her on negative thoughts.

They show up in dreams too. The one guy wants to be seen so bad, influences a lot. Apologizes when I do get mad. I'm not supposed to know they're there. They lock it up but I have fragments. They're the part I can't access by myself. They make me think my body is a hollow void into space or something. I cannot explain it to anyone. They want to up my medication and they get uncomfortable. I don't like making people feel uncomfortable or taking a lot of medication.

Also my psychiatrist wouldn't let me try to explain my side. I can't get them to see my side because it turns into minor arguments.

If this were happening to me, what I would think was going on is that two parts of my brain are fighting for control because they are disagreeing with each other, but also I'm disagreeing with them. Maybe one part is the happy part and the other part is the angry part. I'm more of the decider and experiencing part. I'm disagreeing with them because I don't like how I think or behave when I listen to them. They don't make me the person I want to be or they sabotage things. However, they exist for a reason, and maybe I'm trying to forget or block that reason out. This causes a bunch of problems because by ignoring the happy part, I can't feel happy anymore. It sucks, but at least I don't feel disappointed or vulnerable when it leaves. By ignoring the angry part, I can't feel anger which might feel like a good thing to avoid, but sometimes we need anger to let us know something is messed up. But it could be any emotion, like sad, scared, etc.

Why do you think the psych is not letting you talk to them about it? Have there been times in the past where they didn't let you talk about things with them?