I like to be alone. I've been told I shouldn't isolate. I just feel better alone. I don't have to worry about people thinking I'm "weird". I don't have to talk to people. I'm full of fear during social interactions. I sometimes feel lonely but because I feel I should have friends. I just don't know how to currently. It's not easy. I'm scared of being ditched. Most of my past friends ditched me.
It's not good for my mental health is what people say. But I don't know how to socialize sometimes and lately I've been feeling not so good. I haven't been getting dressed or taking care of myself. That's why I think I isolate. I just struggle to fit in. "Easy" self care isn't easy for me. It can feel dreadful honestly. I just wish I could be better at it. I struggle to relate to people as well . Is there a way to feel like I can be out?