Hardly dated and feel like time is running out for dates

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There are exceptions to this. My current girlfriend liked that I was desperate because I was more willing to give her a chance & more straightforward about wanting a relationship. I was also very attracted to desperate women but there were various reasons why I didn't get in a relationship with one.

I find desperation off-putting because it often makes it seem like the person isn’t particularly interested in me; they’re just hoping that someone - anyone - will say “yes.” Most often when I’ve run into the behavior, perhaps especially when I was young with guys from church, it was with someone that I didn’t have anything in common with and we were otherwise incompatible. Sometimes motives seemed a bit questionable, too.

Of course, as Nick mentions, there’s exceptions to that.

I'm not sure I read this as desperation?

This made me LOL!! !

I am tired of literally looking at people's ages and thinking that's where I ought to be by now just because I see a few people in real life or on social media doing certain things at certain stages of life. I feel these other people are "more grown up" than me because they've got married or got kids. I still can't help but feel that more and more people are being "taken" and the single numbers are shrinking. I've been told by people like parents that I'm not mentally ready for these things especially as I'm not in a relationship but feel like a part of me is panicking as though "time is running out" and I don't want to be in a situation years and years from now and regretting it because I rushed it because I was being "dictated" by age.

Carpe diem Chris, that's what I would have said to myself in my 20s and 30s.

That is your problem

You need to be PATIENT and allow things to run their course instead of just giving up when it gets too hard!! !

This is what I had to do in order to find my partner, in combination with actually being proactive rather than reactive and passive!

In other words, you MUST begin the process of meeting & talking to women

It's the only way to actually GET anywhere and start seeing real progress in your love life!! !

Good luck @chris1989!!



EDIT: I used to think I was lagging behind my friends and neighbors but then I realized that is NOT the case

We all operate differently on different timelines for major life milestones like marriage and parenthood!

Your time will come for experiencing these things but in the meantime while you wait work on yourself first before jumping into a long-term relationship by learning EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY CAN about the mechanics, dynamics, fundamentals and structure of marriage and parenthood!! !

Please stop with the limiting beliefs

Also, marriage and parenthood are both overrated & NOT TO BE RUSHED INTO!

Yes!! !

Preparation is KEY!! !! !!

Without being sufficently prepared for marriage and all the changes that come with it, you run the high risk of the relationship self-imploding!! !

Right now I am currently insufficently prepared to get married and will continue to be until I do the following steps (not necessarily in order):

-Start pre-marital counseling

-Begin the wedding planning process (try on dresses)

-Keep learning and absorbing ALL content relating to marriage and motherhood

It is only when all of these steps are completed that I will sufficently be prepared to get married and become a mother!! !

^^^ You when you put it that way I am amazed any of us ever got together at all...It is an enormous effort..

Exactly

Finding love is NOT easy and requires a lot of preliminary steps!! !

It is a MAJOR task to find "your person" and some people never even achieve that, which is sad

Plus there is no real guarantee that the relationship will work out, because it has to be constantly maintenanced & repaired once created!

No wonder why many people decide to stay single...

Conversely some people it just happens organically. My sister was getting hit on by all sorts of men back when she was single many of whom proposed to her even when she was in highschool (a little creepy).

On the flipside my brother and I had to go overseas to find a wife. He was the smart one, he opted not to have kids.

The last site I tried was OK Cupid...had a few nibbles i.e. exchanged one or two messages then I guess they got bored. Didn't disclose any autism stuff.