Anxious of death and mortality and I'm 30+

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I seem to think I've seen a lot of people from family and people I worked with, going through this in the last few years and it kind makes me quite anxious.

I had a colleague who died on her 50th birthday of an asthma attack, another colleague had a heart attack in his 30s and from what I know he had to be put in to some of kind of care, both granddads passed away at 84 and 86, one from bowel cancer and another I'm not so sure, he had pneumonia and his body seemed like it was slowly shutting down. My dad and uncles in their early 60s and late 50s have enlarged prostates and other stuff I can't remember. One uncle recently had an operation for a hernia. My mum said she might have to have a hip replacement but it turns out she doesn't as it's just torn muscles and things from standing for too long. I also seem to heard of 2 or 3 people in the family I don't know well who going through cancer.

I seem to feel it doesn't help not to think about these things when I've seen ads on TV for funeral planning, retirement and stuff for people born between the late 30s to mid 70s despite saying to myself that it's not targeting me and I don't need to think about that stuff. It's just silly.

Scary isn't it? The thought of dying brings me out in a cold sweat..

I understand exactly how you feel. I'm around the same age and have the same anxieties. I'm sorry to hear about the people close to you going through health issues. I know it's not easy. Sometimes I try to distract myself with music and things to help get my mind off and recentered on something else.

have you thought of getting health insurance? Preferably through an unbiased advisor that deals with all the health insurance companies

I seem to think even words like health insurance just conjures up negative thoughts that because you get to a certain stage of life its like you are closer to death. I saw that with adverts for funeral planning and retirement like for example if you are born between 1944 and 1974 you could be eligible for this and that. There was even one I came across for those born before 1995/96.

Admittedly, I think I've had that topic stewing about in my brain ever since I was eight years old. Every so often it creeps in. I refer to it as an annual check-in with the grim reaper. Sisyphus resting his rock. There are things in this world we can control and things we cannot. The mind doesn't always like that information.

I find that sometimes the best thing is to just go out and do things even when the brain is annoyingly fixated on this anxiety. Keep active and stay connected with others socially. I know sometimes I feel like yelling at my brain to shut up as it seems to spiral in circles which frankly gets stale and annoying.