I just found out I have ADHD.

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I've suspected it for several years, and now I've had the official diagnosis and have started taking meds. I'm still trying to process this.

I am glad you have discovered another aspect of yourself and have had it categorized. I hope the medication you are using is of help.

Good luck. It can take a while to process this.

I finally seem to have gotten my blood pressure under control, as it has been too high with all the crazy stuff happening in the world.

Yeah it's a massive thing especially if you've struggled all your life

You'll be reyt (as they say up north)

I'm still dealing with a lot of anger in my heart towards my mom because I begged her for therapy, but she didn't believe in it. I needed help really badly, but no one noticed because I was good at academics.

Yeah the anger must be hard for you to deal with

Would you like to be able to resolve the issue with your mother do you think

Did you manage to finish your education

Sadly, she passed away before I was healed enough !face her. I'm working on finishing my education. I'm on a break right now because I'm waiting to go to a center for the blind for more training.

Sorry to hear about your mother passing that is sad. I suppose parents are human too but that's easy to forget when you feel as though they're not on your side

sometimes it can feel as though things are moving slowly but it's good that you are making an effort to move your life in a positive direction

What did you think of the meds‽ What was the first thing you said when you noticed them working??

It’s a lot to process, right? Get ready, because I’m thinking you might realize a whole lot of shame was/is invalid.

From what I hear, there’s a neural pathway in our brains that is the shame expressway, and it leads to locations that are generally considered kinda crappy. If you’ve been shamed your whole life for bad behavior (hyperactivity), carelessness (interest-based focus), laziness (valuing stronger rewards), etc., then that expressway gets more lanes and entrances to allow for the high volume of traffic. The residents get used to this expressway and its destinations, so they take it whenever the need to run errands and socialize, even if there are better services, products, and communities elsewhere, simply because it’s an easier drive and out of habit. Why drive an extra 20 mins through traffic lights when you can fly through the super highway? They don’t even have to look up directions since they know the drive so well; It’s almost like an automatic drive. I think the trick is to make some public service announcements letting them know of the other locations in the city that are healthier and of preferred quality, providing some sort of incentive for go to the new locations, then start working on expanding the expressways to those locations. Eventually, the shame one will fail into a state of disrepair as residents abandon it.



That was unfair to you. A genius of a lady once told me to slam may bed with pillows, but I liked my pillows and bed, so I didn’t do it. However, I found out that pacing and hand/arm flapping/throwing while actively thinking about the upsetting events worked pretty well for me. I would blast music and go for hours/miles sometimes. It actually helped a lot.



I wrote my bio father a letter telling him what I thought. I think it was helpful because I was able to define what I felt and thought. It was conclusive. The end.

According to Killboy, a room with a window might help if you look out of it with a certain mindset.

https://podtail.com/podcast/the-blindbo ... -a-window/



You guys are so freaking validating. Thank you

Also, I've learned that the genius lady was right about everything. The first thing I needed to do was to learn to trust myself. Everything was secondary. No matter how hard I tried and muscled it though at the advice of mental health removers, it wouldn't last because the essential foundation was missing thanks to extensive gaslighting. Every time I thought I was making progress was false. The order is safety, trust, control, self-esteem, then social connection. You can't skip them and anyone that tells you otherwise is either misinformed or being malicious. Trying to skip trust will make you further erode your own trust.