Half marathon

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duck, funeral, and peet:

thank you

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peet:

2012 to august 2022, i ate 7 to 10 servings of chocolate per week.

august 2022 til now, have not eaten chocolate.

planning to start eating one daily serving of chocolate (usually kit kat, reeses, twix, snickers, some cheap s**t like that)

i was planning the start date for october 8 (my fourth year work anniversary) but that seemed too soon so i didn't eat chocolate.

then i was planning for november 21 (company sponsored health insurance deadline) and i used Covered CA to sign up for Kaiser. one of the covered ca counselors told me kaiser requires proof of citizenship. which i do not understand b/c i was on kaiser during year 2024 and kaiser did not require proof of citizenship. (but i gave Medi-Cal my proof of citizenship in 2014). and now i have been trying to look up how to get a passport. (my passport was when i was 11 years old and has my "deadname" on it.) thank buddha, my late parents kept my documents organized in a briefcase. the briefcase has my change of name documents and passport and resident alien card. according to the passport agency's website, i have enough documents to apply for a new passport, and that takes 4-6 weeks at least.

so i do not know when i am going to eat chocolate again

Good job on the half marathon!

thank you bee.

now that i am 41, i have to stop eating so much, b/c metabolism going to plummet due to middle age. sooner or later, i will not be able to walk and jog far enough to outrun 12 daily servings of bread. sooner or later, i will be injured, disabled, sick, busy, or otherwise unable to walk and jog far enough to burn extra calories off. been rapidly getting physically weaker and slower.

today, for the first time since the half marathon 8 days ago, went jogging. just to the library. briefly sprinkling. got a little wet. cardio and legs felt better than usual, which is still not that great but what the flying f**k ever s**t. 41 already pretty f*****g old

today, 42 years 2 weeks 2 days old

went jogging on the same route (flat, no extreme weather, zero symptoms, zero injuries, no unusual situation),

felt like could barely walk, much less jog or run.

maybe, won't ever go jogging again.

too old.

rotting, decomposing, graceful degradation, aging

42 is not that old

but every slightest movement takes too much effort

even talking, especially talking

my running career's over

however, done one marathon, two half marathons, one 10k. in 10th grade, one two mile race and one 3 mile race.

nothing impressive, but that will have to be good enough.

everything is so hard for me. nothing comes naturally.

i wish i was a skinny smart handsome cisgender neurotypical white man!

Running is like that. Some days you feel like you've gone back to square one. Other days you're shipping through daisies. Don't let it derail you. 42 is not too old to be running.

Yeah, but you can waste an entire life wishing you're something you're not. The trick is to get comfortable with what you are, I think. The people who can do that seem to have a much happier life.

Running is addictive. Still running ar least twice a week at 62 and ran the most recent of a string of ultra marathons.

Running gives such a sense of wellbeing and even if you don't splash out a fortune to enter an official half marathon you can indeed do your own run, preferably sticking to quiet and scenic routes. Running gives a sense of freedom few other activities do.

Keep it up, it really does make one feel good especially when showering the sweat off afterwards and feeling the achievement of finishing the course.