Worried women will expect me to be "experienced" at 30+

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I seem to think that is another thing that sometimes makes me "what's the point now?" with dating.

I remember reading something on quora, where I a 36 year old single guy was "super depressed" and lying there in a dark room and somebody responded "I'm going to be brutally honest. Its way harder at 36. Most women you should be dating are mature and gonna want a man with experience. I will assume your lack of experience is too creepy for younger women.

You will have to come to terms with the fact that if you do decide to date, it will be a single mom and I doubt you are ready to be a step-dad. You gotta take things slow but you have to take steps.

Not all women have kids at that age. Not all women want kids.

There’s a lot of women out there with different viewpoints and preferences.

Some women have similar experience/inexperience. Others won’t care if a guy has less experience than they do.
Even if a woman has kids, not that all do by any means, she wouldn’t necessarily want the guy she’s seeing to take on a father figure role.

I know what you mean there
I didn't want to get into a relationship with someone who had kids because I'm just not into all that family stuff but my last boyfriend actually had no kids and he was in his 50s so not everyone has kids

And I know you're gonna say "but it's different for women blah blah blah".

You need to get out there mate and make an effort I happen to think you're quite a nice person

I also was worried about experience,
but when I vented these worries to some women, they didn't much care because of my other qualities, such as principles,
honesty, integrity and humour.

I also think that probably all partners would have some "getting to know each other" phase of awkwardness,
because everyone's preferences are different and people don't share this publicly, so I don't think it's really
possible for "experience" to matter all that much.

yeah, somethings will always be the same

"Experienced" probably also means having an understanding of basic social expectations. Maybe find some books or videos that spell things out.

Experienced at...? sex.. romance ... Practice small soft genuine smiles , if you can with your face .. if she wants to be with you . And she dont know , what you don't know and visa versa....practice being physically soft with that special someone. And if you dont have best communication..better let their be a practice period , where you talk or figure out , whose liking what ...? ..or not ? liking...fyi. ..if you be genuine , good ice breakers include single flowers ..a Rose.
But pretty sure these ideas went away with my generation. Prolly things went in favour of the ancient , Wham...Bam,...
Thank you Mam ( Gawd hopes she is not allergic to flowers).
Written by : a true version of a Antiquarian , of the Human variety.

I'm a late-bloomer and my dating life has significantly improved the last few years. Everything will be fine. You will be okay. Just stop listening to the doomers online and start taking action.

First, where is your fear coming from? Are these actual problems that have happened to you? No. This is just a speculation of what you think may happen. Don't let yourself be discouraged by a fictional event that actually never happened to you.

And it's coming from 1 random person on the internet whose life experiences may be completely different from yours.

Another point is to consider the source. Are you going to take advice from people who are bitter and not living the kind of life they want, or are you going to take it from people who are positive and achieving their goals? If that guy in question isn't having a good dating life in his 30's/40's, why would you listen to him? Take advice from the people who are positive and have happy dating lives/relationships.

Years ago used to be insecure about my inexperience, but then as I went on more and more dates, I realized that most women didn't mind, or if anything some were happy to teach me. The comments from some doomers on the internet (who were probably online dooming instead of actually dating people) was not in line with my actual reality.

If she asks you, be honest and upfront about your lack of experience. But phrase it in a positive way. In my case, I was honest about the fact that I had social anxiety and didn't date much in my 20's, but I became more social and more comfortable expressing myself since then. Don't view it as a downside or something you have to compensate for. If you don't make it an issue, they won't make it an issue.

I had no dating experience before February 2018 when I met my first girlfriend (and she is still my current girlfriend). Because she lives in Russia and I in the Netherlands, I decided to go to Russia a few times and once in Belarus. Until the war in 2022 it was very easy to go to Russia even with the visa application included!

I had no dating experience. I never tried to date someone because I don't talk to women unless they are clearly interested in me. There are women that stare at me but they don't talk to me (a few of them start a conversation). I don't clearly know what's up with women. Why do they look at me for a long time? I was always wondering: Am I pretty or handsome? Even when I am close to 59?

If the relationship with the Russian woman ends, I will be an incel from then on. I am not capable to turn reciprocal attraction into a date and a relationship, except with this girlfriend.

About experience: I should be helped at a way younger age, to be more successful with women. But the psychologists refused to help me (so they are a useless pain in the neck). Without dating, I am generally very successful with other areas. My high intelligence helps me a lot.

yup, another reminder of what comes with the territory