Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

chris1989
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Aug 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,356
Location: Kent, UK

Yesterday, 1:44 pm

I never went clubbing or frequented bars and stuff to go and meet people and I've got hardly any close friends to hang out with and do that with. I see photos of people when they were younger taking selfies and sometimes "wishing I was there despite not being a "going out and drinking" person", there was a time a while ago when I went out with colleagues to a pub after a funeral for a former colleague and although I sat and chatted, I seem to think that's all I did and thinking is it that all you do ? And am I missing out on this stuff?



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 31,369
Location: Right over your left shoulder

Yesterday, 2:47 pm

If you think it's impossible to make friends without going to get drunk in situations you wouldn't enjoy in the first place you might want to expand your understanding of how one can make friends.


_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Make America Great (Depression) Again


uncommondenominator
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Aug 2019
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,459

Yesterday, 3:07 pm

Of all the friends I have ever made, I can't say I've made many, if any, at a bar or a club.

I've made friends at my job, at local events, at book or game or hobby stores, at community groups, in college, through my kung-fu classes, and though online forums.

But not really any from going to bars or clubs. If / when I ever did go to a bar or club, it was for karaoke or dancing, both of which I enjoy for their own sake, and didn't go just cos "it's where people went".

Movies and TV make it seem like bars and clubs are the only thing people do in their spare time, but that's not the reality most people live in.

If you're missing out on something, it's the totality of life and living that's available to explore, not "bars and clubs".

You gotta go out and find out what YOU like. If you don't like anything, forcing yourself to do what brings happiness to others isn't going to magically transfer some happiness to you as well. Doing things only makes people happy, if that thing actually makes them happy. There is no magic life hack to make your brain produce "happy" just cos you pressed the right nerve or drank the right liquor or forced yourself into the "right" situation.