Why do people use your name when speaking directly to you?

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Fairfield
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06 Apr 2025, 6:09 pm

It's really hard to explain, but I slightly "get" why they do it and I copy it a bit. I think that in one way they use it, it's like a way to express and reassure familiarity with someone. Like, I'll address people by their names very occasionally in small interactions, even ones I've known for a long time, because I've seen them doing that to each other, and I noticed that when I do it to certain people more often that those people seem to be more receptive to me and more open with me.

I'm 100% sure there's other reasons people do that, but that's one reason I picked up on and copied and that has worked for me.



blitzkrieg
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07 Apr 2025, 6:25 am

I don't really mind, especially if the person using my name is someone I like.



SocOfAutism
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07 Apr 2025, 11:19 am

timf wrote:
Some people use the spoken name to put someone else in their place, like a power play. Some try to help themselves remember a name.

The Family Guy Star Wars episode had C3PO accuse the main character of not knowing his name. The main character than proceeded to inject the name C3PO several times in his conversation. If someone gets annoying with it, it may help to recall that episode.


Okay yes, I have rarely done this before, but rarely. The guy across the street used to let drunk people park in my parking spot so once I went over there and, ahem, put my hand on his arm and used his first name repeatedly, which I knew made him uncomfortable. He hated me for years. :/

But in general, we will use the name of an autist (or ADHD person) to make sure they are paying attention to what we're saying. Just because only the two of you are present and the other person is responding doesn't mean they are paying attention or taking you seriously. I have literally said something multiple times to my autist husband and ADHD son and then an hour later been accused of not telling them something or had them inform me of that same thing that I had just told them, because what I said in my monkey-NT speak must have sounded to them like wonkwonkwonk.