Why do people change because they "have" to?

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I seem to think some people transition to new stages of life just because they "have to" before it's "too late" or regret it later on. I've heard from people who've said it's better to regret not having done it than to do it, rush into it and regret it because you did it to "keep up with the Joneses" especially if it comes to having kids. After my nephew was born, his dad went about going with friends and stuff while my sister was caring for him all the time. I'm worried if I did it for the sake of it and not because I really wanted to, I'll end up regretting that when it'll be too late because I'll have a responsibility to raise.

It sounds like you're projecting your own FOMO onto society as a whole.

The idea that "I'd better try this, or I'll regret it forever" is for things like trying a new food, visiting a city or landmark, taking on a new hobby, starting a new career or seeking a new degree, or perhaps professing feelings for someone you genuinely care about, maybe buying a flashy car in your 50s - but not the 18+ year commitment of raising and caring for an actual human child - a child you might not have actually wanted, and may not ever want, once confronted with the reality - not just regretting it, but resenting it, and likely not being a very good parent for the kid that it turns out you regret having.

Have you ever spent time being around, or caring for, kids? Do you even like kids?

Most people aren't nearly as interested in "keeping up with the Joneses" as you seem to think. Stop trying to find happiness in other people's yards. Find out what makes YOU happy, then do more of that.

If they have a sense of duty so strong, and a duty just as equally relenting; one would had to.

So, caring for a kid is a huge responsibility.
In some cases, something that big of a change just straighten up some people.

The same can be said with a responsibility with a just as huge of a consequence if failing it.



But fear and deprivation is not truly the strongest of motivators.

It's love.

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