I lately discovered I'm most likely with ASD and ADHD.

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true that, and good point. Especially with the black thinking.
but to me listening to my intuition is largely how i go through life now. I still check in with the "facts" but I learned to trust my gut with the caveat you gave. Thanks

Last edited by gigi9 on 10 Apr 2025, 1:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hello. There is a basic online thing which gives an idea if one could do with being assessed or not.

I vote for not grieving. You got this far without knowing so you are doing reasonably well for yourself. You're doing good! And may find a formal diagnosis to have less value than you might hope.

If you'd gotten the diagnosis decades ago then you might've enabled people to draw a quick conclusion about you, based on the diagnosis, and then they could possibly have just dismissed you...because of the label.

Now, however, you've had a chance to establish yourself. The label becomes some curious trivia about you, rather than all there is to tell people...if you choose to tell them. You have hopefully established enough personal credentials that, after people get to know you, you can throw the label out for amusement.

On the other hand, I almost got the label too late. I completely retired in 2011, when I was 56. And I had no clue that I might be Autistic and, in my ignorance, would've quickly denied it...but for almost fifty years I had figured out that most people were different than me. As my credentials grew (college, military, Mensa, a nice bank account, an accomplished bride) I eventually came to the conclusion that I was different from most people but maybe they were the ones who were messed up!

I could easily have died without finding out I was Autistic. It was in 2018 that circumstances conspired to give me a hint that I should read about Autism.

My Mother died way back in 1986 but my Dad did not die until 2022, when he was 92. He lived a significant distance away from me so we typically only visited around Christmas/New Years (we both knew how to use a phone, however). When we were down seeing him at the end of 2018 one of the relatives that lived near him told me an interesting tidbit of info...

One of my relatives that lived near him is a sister who works as a nanny for special-needs children. And she happened to take one of those kids with her when she visited Dad. I was told that several times Dad said the kid was doing the same "weird" things I used to do! Well, when I was that kid's age Eisenhower was the U.S. President! Those "weird" things apparently made quite an impression on Dad! (P.S. Dad liked the kid and my sister had previously mentioned him to me and she was proud of him!)

The kid, however, had a rich medical record already. It was unclear to me why he might've been doing those "weird" things and whether it could provide me any information about myself. The only thing I know about the kid that might apply to me was that his parents were suspicious he might be Autistic.

Well. I did not think I was Autistic. If someone had suggested it I would've rejected the idea. But...I actually knew virtually nothing about Autism. (Though I vaguely remembered having seen commercials for the movie Rain Man.) But, I decided to kill that one lead by reading about Autism...but, to my surprise, it sounded like me! Then I got my bride to read about it and she agreed that it sounded like me. But I could not bring myself to attach much weight to our uneducated opinions. But then I found AQ and took it...and it said I was probably Autistic! That was enough to make me take the possibility seriously so I got a formal Adult Autism Assessment and, before the end of 2019, I had my diagnosis:

Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild)
With an additional note that I also satisfied the criteria previously associated with Asperger's Syndrome.

Then came the biggest surprise!! I thought that my being Autistic would be surprising news for my relatives so, as much as possible, I waited to tell them in person. And they weren't very interested; mostly they would speculate about whether that had any bearing on them.

Dad, however, was completely dismissive. Asperger's Syndrome didn't get into the DSM until 1994...the year I turned 40 and the year he was 64. From his standpoint it was just some newfangled fad.

But I'm glad I got the diagnosis.

<=+=+>1. Now I know what is wrong with everyone.

<=+=+>2. Wrong Planet.

<=+=+>3. When my bride bumps up against my Autism I get to tell her:

"I have a Doctor's note for that!"

The BASE symptoms that brand it as ASD, are the same. The difference that makes classical classical is that they may be more extreme, debilitating, and may have more profound variances mentally.

BTW the symptoms are mix and match. Of course they specify effectively a weighting of each. What you describe is pretty much what all autistics(AS, classical, and others) would have. The only question is location and degree. There ARE other symptoms they all could have also.

I like that description.... "gregarious and welcoming community"!

You are welcome

Welcome Gigi9!

I share a lot of your experiences and thoughts. After an intense journey of reading and discovering so many things on my own I went for a formal assessment and just got the screening results. Check check check check check. Although I had the feeling of “buying champagne” there is another part that feels frail and, yes, griefing.

A suggestion: Read Unmasking Autism by Dr Devon Price, if you can! For me it’s the best!!

thank you velvet morning!

It's good to relate. when do you discover about your own diagnosis? it's definitely mixed feelings. yesterday i watched a video of a woman who diagnosed 3 years ago and she also said she was grieving, and that it comes in waves - just like grieving someone lost. effectively, when i've been trying to someone i wasn't for a large part of my life, it's normal to grieve the fact i will never be that person, and grieve the person i could have been if i wasn't forced to "fit in" and act "normal".

unfortunately I can't read - not sure what it is, but it overwhelms my brain (i never seeked diagnosis for this either). but I'm unmasking already. since i've been on my own journey (way before I knew about autism) to release layers of conditioning and self judgment I had in the past, I've already been doing a lot of unmasking, so now that i learned from YT how masking looks like, it has been really easy for me to be more natural - considering safety of environment of course

Welcome to Wrong Planet! My life experience is similar to yours. Now that I know about my Asperger’s, my life makes more sense, but it is still difficult to operate in this world of weird allistic people everywhere!

I need to make a point of visiting this forum more often, and to look into Tony Atwood as suggested above.

Find support wherever you can, online is best for me.

you are not alone. Discovered my ASD and formally diagnosed at age 68. Many here will identify. So many "whys" of the past answered! Such a relief!

thank you!
yes, life makes more sense, but might not be much easier. i guess to me "owning" it makes things a tad bit easier

thanks! yeah, i'm still not sure how this online forum will help me but let's see. btw i checked out your blog. looks pretty good. good job