"holier than thou"

Post Reply New Topic

Some precious lil "people" act all "buddy buddy", knucklebumping & "how ya doin' sir?", but then when (they think that) i did something bad/wrong, they act all "holier than thou". they act like they have never done *anything* wrong before in their lives and "the meaning of 'life' is 'helping people' !". (rolls eyes)

example, mister redelings

b/c of that, i am afraid to interact with much less trust, *anyone*.

constantly overpowered outnumbered and outsmarted

There is a saying out there that hurt people hurt people and it's most likely that they are hurting. People who are condescending like that are insecure. People like that also have fragile egos and aren't likely going able to take accountability. In fact, these kinds of people will treat everyone around them badly.

I relate to this a lot! I'm learning to not be as forthcoming at first and slowly get to see people play out their patterns. Once their patterns are out, then I can make a better decision on how close I would like to be with them. But yeah, that holier than thou thing is soooo annoying. It's not that seeing behaviors and having an opinion on them is annoying, but when they act like they're perfect moral models for the world...that's not for me. And to add to Summer_Twilight, they're probably repeating a behavior they are experiencing elsewhere. Maybe someone is criticizing them all the time, so that's how they act out because of it. I think it helps to understand why they do it, but also that it's not something I want to have in my life.

On the other hand, I really appreciate people that admit their mistakes or difficulties and try to work on them. If someone says they messed up, learned from it, and have taken steps to change that...let's gooooo!

We need to put some holes of our own in that holier than thou attitude.

I know a few people who were who are autistic of neurodivergent who have carried that "Holier than thee" attitude. They also seem to think they are much higher functioning than I am. It's so bad that they have had the nerve to start assuming that I don't know what's appropriate or know the rules. So they start calling me out or nagging at me for doing things that are not appropriate. Then when I call them out, they seem to be clueless as to why I am getting mad at them. To them, they feel like they are trying not to walk on shells around because they are only "Trying to help." When I have called them out for that "Holier than" attitude I am told, "That's not true"

Even talking about this is a really hot button for me because I hate dealing with people who are that insecure. Sure they hate the fact that they have these problems. However, it's not my fault.

^ Yeah, that's annoying. It's one thing if they point something out to help you and explain things so you can learn. It's another thing to point something out then laugh. Knowing they're autistic, I assume they're doing it because it's happening to them. Like you said though, not my problem.

it gets on my nerves when precious lil "people" have the nerve to act like they are morally superior to me because they are:

academically smarter
physically stronger/more athletic
socially adept
emotionally resilient
earn more $$$
cisgender
more aesthetically attractive

any other reason

However, "pick your battles". it is not immoral or illegal for them to act so condescending toward me. at least they did not exterminate me. "life" goes on. nobody is perfect. there is something wrong with everything.

i just do not have the energy to deal with self-righteous, self-important, annoying precious lil "people".

manipulative

I agree with you. I heard someone say something like, "The closer you are to a toxic person, the sicker you will get." That was enlightening for me.