My friend told me 2 opposite things and I don't understand

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catpiecakebutter
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Today, 2:58 pm

When I went to the movie theatre my friend said I was being too loud when I was near in the hallway or in the theatre doors but when I was sitting down with her she asked if I was OK when I was silent. I don't like being asked or told 2 opposite things by the same person in the same day. Is that weird? I really don't like it and I don't even understand it.



MatchboxVagabond
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Today, 3:03 pm

There's degrees. I wasn't there, but it's completely possibly to be far too loud in the hall and then overdo it being quiet afterwards. And NTs seem to overestimate their ability to judge what's going on inside of people's brains based on body language.



catpiecakebutter
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Today, 5:32 pm

I know I was being too loud but I didn't like it when my friend asked me a short time later if I was OK after being silent in the movie theatre. I felt she want opposite things at different times, for me not to be too loud at one minute, and for me to start talking the next moment.



funeralxempire
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39 minutes ago

She's not really asking for opposites though.

She'd like you to talk, but just not so loudly.

You're being too loud is not the same as STFU.

You're being too loud (usually) means either you're bothering other people or that you're making your friend self-conscious by drawing too much attention, rather than that they don't wish to interact with you.


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lostonearth35
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26 minutes ago

You're supposed to be quiet and not talk unless you have to during the movie, but most people don't because they're rude and ignorant. They should have the seats facing each other instead of the movie screen if people only care about going to the movies and not actually watching them.

But telling you you're too loud or you talk too much one minute and then thinking something is wrong when you're quiet is just one of the many NT things that don't make sense.



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less than a minute ago

Agrees with the above post, often NTs do not even realize when their words or actions and words contradict each other.
Its a bit maddening when As a Aspie , consistency in actions and words are all we have to work with, And N.T.s ability for insight can be very self serving only . And then you are expected to not notice..? :roll: ..((imho))
And often, it seems their idea of theory of mind . Only extends to their own minds , I feel.
8O Part of the reason ,I prefer things in writing now days . And the inconsistencies become very obvious . But I should not generalize , I guess. :(
Just have observed this all my life ..And am at the other end of my life span . "All you can do is watch out for it ", And choose your associates/ friends carefully. Occassionally if this happens on a greater scale, it can look just like ""Gaslighting"", A good thing to AVOID if at all possible. Or circumstances that might lead to it. :skull:


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