I'm so lost in life right now. (Rant)

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I'm so lost in life right now. I don't know what to do, i hate waiting and i hate being patient and i hate having to sit in a barely moving waitlist!!

I'm having so much issues and problems in my life right now and it's really making me feel not so happy at all. Especially the worries about getting funding for adult services and funding for me as a disabled person as a whole. It feels like we're never ever gonna get anywhere because of these waiting times. ESPECIALLY THE WAITING TIMES.

And it doesn't help that my mom got called TWICE this week.. We were SO close to actually getting through and finally reaching step two after trying once and giving up because things weren't in our favour at all. I'm literally ONE year away from needing those services and needing to get into some kind of program. I don't think making this is okay for this site or helps me but i really wanted to get this off my chest.

Plus, i also worry if i have some sort of problem with my Program Support Teacher at my high school. Because i got into the rumble stage of a meltdown and i guess i also frustrated her as well because she began to threaten me and take away the events that i was most excited for. And i wonder if she really doesn't like me now and i ruined our relationship together.

Which also leads me to wonder if i'm acting a bit too spoiled and entitled because i had a bigger meltdown and cried mostly about my privileges/rewards being taken away than i am about making her mad in the first place. And that i also hate hearing the word "no". I've always worried if i'm spoiled and this just makes me wonder and worry about being spoiled without actually knowing or being aware that i am in the first place.

Ugh. This is a really stressful period of my life right now. And it doesn't help at all about my recent meeting and our plans for my future.

Sorry to hear that.
These are pretty tough times for a lot of people as the federal government is being reorganized.
Hopefully things will get better but for now a lot of people are frustrated.

You might want to use this time to experiment. You might try all sorts of things to see if anything in particular resonates such as athletics, artistic, or leisure learning classes like cooking.

There are also less consumptive experiments that you might try like volunteer work. If you take classes, you might try some for fun such as astronomy, electronics, or ceramics.

Along the way you might find people who are interesting and some even fascinating

If you face limits such as time, money, or ability, you might push the limits to see what you might be able to do. For example, if you ar unable to take a class that sounds interesting, you might call the teachers and sak if there is a book in the library he might recommend..

That’s a lot to juggle. Waiting on stuff like funding can feel like it's dragging on forever, especially when you’re so close but still stuck in that in-between space. It’s totally understandable to be frustrated with that.

And about the meltdown with your teacher, don’t beat yourself up too much. Emotions happen, especially when you’re under a lot of pressure. It’s not about being spoiled; it’s about feeling like you’re not being heard or things aren’t going your way. That’s hard, especially when you’re already stressed. It doesn’t mean you ruined the relationship; people can work through these things, especially if you both understand where it’s coming from.

Right now, it’s okay to not have everything figured out. You're still in the middle of figuring things out. Just take it one day at a time, you’ll get there. It's tough, but you'll make it through.