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Why Do People Refuse To Practice Social Skills?

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Jayo
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Yesterday, 7:49 pm

belijojo wrote:
I've heard the idea that you need to be aggressive when you first meet someone so you don't get bullied in subsequent interactions. I think this is a distorted social skills born out of a toxic environment, and unwillingness to learn.But I don't have the ability to tell at a glance whether the environment is really friendly.


Ummm...I think you just described prison culture!! 8O

Yeah, it's definitely distorted. Maybe you heard that idea at a rough school??

Can't see this being the case in SOOO many other contexts.



Edna3362
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Yesterday, 9:36 pm

belijojo wrote:
I've heard the idea that you need to be aggressive when you first meet someone so you don't get bullied in subsequent interactions. I think this is a distorted social skills born out of a toxic environment, and unwillingness to learn.But I don't have the ability to tell at a glance whether the environment is really friendly.

Incidentally, that was by very first go-to strategy... As a kid.
Not that I need to be aggressive nor I was told to -- more like that just how I was at a really young age that I had a no choice in the matter, developmentally.

I was constantly very dysregulated, it might as well be the only thing I can access to express myself.
And because I got pride, I don't run, I fight. Was too angry to feel fear.

Didn't matter if the environment was toxic or not, because I'm still dysregulated regardless of how I was treated as a kid.

Maybe I got it from my parents.
They're the ones who's fighting a lot in my presence and that's practically the only real memory I ever remembered about both of them unless they're on the phone or something.


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ArticVixen
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Today, 12:51 am

Honestly, I just have never made the effort. I am more focused on other stuff and socializing is least of my priorities. I hardly relate to anyone at my job anyways and I have the lack of transportation to meet up with my old highschool friends.

This isn't to use as a crutch but trauma has hindered my social anxiety and I often wonder if I have C-PSTD. I do relate to a lot of the posts on that one subreddit.

I feel the 9-5 lifestyle and having a family takes up your free time to go out and about. Not that I have kids but I still take care of my siblings even if they are near their adult years. My dad on the other hand often declines his friend's offer to go golfing due to his daily errands like shopping. They at least occasionally talk on the phone.



belijojo
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20 minutes ago

Jayo wrote:
belijojo wrote:
I've heard the idea that you need to be aggressive when you first meet someone so you don't get bullied in subsequent interactions. I think this is a distorted social skills born out of a toxic environment, and unwillingness to learn.But I don't have the ability to tell at a glance whether the environment is really friendly.


Ummm...I think you just described prison culture!! 8O

Yeah, it's definitely distorted. Maybe you heard that idea at a rough school??

Can't see this being the case in SOOO many other contexts.

This is how it is said, whether at home or in formal schools, etc., except for textbooks. "Perhaps this is the special feature of East Asia that is different from other places"I guess.


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