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Worried women will expect me to be "experienced" at 30+

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Escape1894
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18 Apr 2025, 10:08 am

AzureChidori wrote:
Escape1894 wrote:
This results in: women don’t want to be with you cause you have no experience but at the same time, you can’t experience since no woman wants to give it to you..


As a late bloomer who only started having an active dating life in my 30's, I disagree.

Your argument is that A (inexperience) causes B (undesirability). My argument is that A and B are caused by the same things.

When I was a "late bloomer"
* I lacked social skills.
* Had low self-esteem/confidence.
* Lacked a social life, very few friends. Stayed at home a lot.
* I was unkempt. (poorly dressed, bad haircut/grooming)
* I rarely asked women out on a date (and when I did, I got so hung up on the rejection too long)
* The pictures I was using on dating apps weren't great. etc. etc.

All of these things were fixable and once I improved those things, my dating life got a lot better.



Although your dating life improved by doing those things, there certainly was a chance that you doing those things would still have resulted in your dating life staying the same because of your inexperience. As someone who did all of those myself, it still resulted me never having a woman flirt with me/be interested in me.



lisa_simpson
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19 Apr 2025, 9:35 pm

I know it should be easier for us women, as we are often more easily desired by men, but we could also open up the category of “Worried Men Will Expect Me To Be ‘Experienced’ At 30+”, starring me, an almost 35-year-old woman who has had no experience.

I had never dated until I was 32, when a man finally found an interest in asking me out. Fast forward, after four dates, I wanted to keep dating him, but he kept making excuses not to see me again. And I’m 80% sure he noticed my lack of experience. Maybe he even noticed my autistic traits? I never told him that he was the first man I dated or that I’m autistic.

Anyway, I’m asexual (but sex-positive), so I don’t really give a lot of thought to the dating sphere. But it is so frustrating to see so many autistic women thriving at dating and I seem to have a lot more support needs in this area.


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RetroGamer87
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25 Apr 2025, 9:51 pm

chris1989 wrote:
Worried women will expect me to be "experienced" at 30+

This has not been my experience. I have never had a bad reaction from a woman when I told them I was a virgin, including women I was dating. All of the virgin hate I got came from men.


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cyberdora
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25 Apr 2025, 9:54 pm

Virgin men tend to be (mostly) nervous and least prepared around single women. So the issue about being virgin isn't the reason why they are getting rejected.