Worried women will expect me to be "experienced" at 30+

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This has not been my experience. I have never had a bad reaction from a woman when I told them I was a virgin, including women I was dating. All of the virgin hate I got came from men.

Virgin men tend to be (mostly) nervous and least prepared around single women. So the issue about being virgin isn't the reason why they are getting rejected.

My experience was the same as yours. You don't even need to tell them about your experience or lack of it

I'm honestly not sure why you're shocked. There are plenty of women on this site with similar experiences. I also never had a boyfriend until I was 32. I had my first girlfriend at 34. It's not uncommon for autistic people to lag behind our peers in one way or another and to struggle with things like dating. Being a woman doesn't magically make it easier, it just makes it different.

I think it's weird that a lot of the focus so far has been on virginity when a much bigger issue is the social inexperience. There's a fine line between being inattentive and being too clingy. There's a whole bunch of extra responsibilities with dating that don't come with friendship. From my limited experience romantic relationships can be a minefield of things you didn't expect and sometimes they blow up in your face. That doesn't make it not worth it, though.

As for your dilemma Chris, I agree with the statements that your best bet is to find people at a similar life stage or who are more open minded. There are women out there that are just as inexperienced as you, or where experience isn't an issue. I'm not going to say it'll be easy to find one, because I don't think any aspect of the dating sphere is easy for autistic people, but they're out there and that should give you some hope. I hope it all works out for you