Summer_Twilight wrote:
First of all, NPD and ASD are two different disorders, but that does not mean that a person on the spectrum can't have NPD.
I don't think it's ever been suggested that they're not different disorders with different diagnostic criteria.
It's just that there is an overlap between a few features, like the article mentions.
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Self-centeredness; inappropriate to developmental level and cultural expectations
Poor self-awareness, poor ability to develop remorse or learn from mistakes
Poor empathy or appreciation of others feelings
Poor ability to reciprocate emotions.
Hostile dependency on safe relations.
Failure to develop emotional relationships appropriate to developmental level and social norms
Treating people as objects or preferring objects over them
Where people with NPD without comorbid autism diverge is that they're:
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able to interact with high levels of social skills in situations where impressing someone they look up to is important to them... narcissists appear sociable and socially even highly capable when they are interacting with someone whom they regard as having potential to fulfill their desire for admiration, power and other “narcissistic supplies.”
So far I've really tried to avoid the tangents about what any of this means in regards to how to deal with people with NPD, that's an entirely different discussion. I'd like to not get lost in those weeds and just focus on what makes people display narcissistic traits, and that largely seems to be shared between children, people with ASD and people with NPD.
With NT children, there's an expectation that they'll continue to develop. With everyone who's development in that regard is delayed, recognizing it as a delay doesn't mean it has to just be tolerated. People are always entitled to take measures to not be subjected to other people's toxic behaviours.
Given that crybullying isn't an unheard of phenomenon on this site (even in this very thread), and how this pattern of behaviour is often motivated by what we lump together as narcissism, it's worth understanding what drives it, even if only to better learn to recognize it.
A lot of hostilities on here boil down to
you're so mean, you're not letting me win this interaction or
you're so mean, you called me out for antagonistic behaviour, so recognizing those patterns can help with disengaging when someone is taking a disagreement more personally than it deserves to be taken.
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