Comedy story series- Stupid Random Crap!

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Sledge, Snake and the Mavericks were all sent into the walls around the room as the blast enveloped the room.

“Jeez, why don’t you all get a life? I wasn’t made to be ogled over for crying out loud!” shouted Delia as she gently set down the bazooka.

“Sounds to me like the little lady needs some help!” announced a cheesy male voice from an unknown location.

[size=12pt]“I agree! You rapscallions stay back!”[/size]

[size=12pt]“Or you shall be forced…”[/size] began a female voice.

“To face our power!” finished another female voice.

“Uhh…” mumbled Snake.

“Behold! We are…” shouted a black sounding voice.

In a cheaply made explosion of colored smoke, out emerged a group of five helmeted heroes in cheap, over-exaggerated costumes! There was a red one, a blue one, a pink one, a yellow one, and a black one!

“…THE ENERGY ENFORCERS!” they all shouted.

“The what?” asked Delia, not sure if she wanted to know.

The team now did a battle dances, then said their lines!

“That’s right, for evil never wins!”

“Crime doesn’t pay!”

“And justice always triumphs!”

“Will you guys keep it down over there?! I have a headache!” growled Storm Eagle as he was helped up by Green.

“Ah, yes! There he is! The lady’s villain!”

“Come again? What are you guys doing…?” asked Storm as he raised an ‘eyebrow.’

More battle dances ensued.
“Prepare yourself biomechanical beast!”

“For soon, you shall wear the thong of justice!”

“Because we are…!”

Sighing and rolling his optics, Storm Eagle blasts the team, knocking them down!

“Hey, that’s not fair!” complained Red.

“He didn’t let us finish our battle dance!”

“You’re not supposed to do that, monster!”

“You idiot, I’m not a monster! I’m a robot! And furthermore, I’m not gonna just sit here and watch your gay, unrehearsed dance routines!” stated Eagle rather Harshly.

“Gay and unrehearsed?! We train these techniques three hours a day I’ll have you know! And our dances are only sorta gay! The really gay ones are those other guys…” stated Blue.

“Oh really? How come they get their own T.V. show then with over a decades worth of sequels?” asked Green with an evil smile.

“They’re just lucky! Now that’s enough talk from you monster!” said Black, pointing.

“ROBOT!” shouted Storm.

“Monster robot!” corrected Black.

“Let’s get ‘em guys! YAAAH!”

“HAAAAH!”

Pink and Yellow flip jumped into the air… …only to fall flat on their butts to the front and side of Storm Eagle since they jumped too low!

“Alright! You’re good! But you might get up and pack…” exclaimed Black as he took to the air as well. “…when you’re facing off against Black!”

Unfortunately [for him], Black jumped entirely too high. The price he paid for his overcompensation was slamming into the wall behind Storm Eagle kidney first before falling down, on his head with his crotch going into his face.

“That does it! Take out your Enforcer Blaster, Blue!” ordered Red.

The last two whip out their horribly designed laser pistols.

“Alright, put them together!”

The two put their weapons together forming… …a weapon that looks like their two weapons put together…

“Now fire!”

A red and blue energy beam shot out of the dual barrel cannon, and approached the Mavericks… …slowly… …slowly… …slowly… …slowly… …very slowly…

Storm Eagle allowed the beam to come super close to him… …before using a whirlwind to knock it back at the Enforcers, sending them flying to the ground!

“Blast it! He’s too strong! What are we to do?!” despaired Blue.

Just then, the wall behind Blue was busted down! Out came a green Enforcer!

“Tommy! You’re just in time!”

“ARGH! I told you RED, my name is NOT Tommy! And even if it was, you would’ve blown my cover! Doesn’t the concept of SECRET IDENTITY mean anything to you?!”

“Tommy, you should really calm down.” said Pink as she and the others rejoined Red.

“Oh for crying out phreakin’ loud, my name is GREEN! SAY GREEN!”

“You need to straighten up already Tommy!” scolded Pink.

“Yeah Tommy, cool it or you’re off the team!” added Yellow.

“Oh my God…” said Green despairingly as he bobbed his head down.

“And for the last time! I’m not God!” yelled Yellow.

“God? What about Jesus?” asked Blue.

“Jesus is the son of God, and they are one.” explained Black.

“Then what about the Holy Spirit?”

“The Holy Spirit is God’s presence on Earth that comes into you if you let him.”

“You mean to say there are three of them?” asked Blue inquisitively.

“Yes, and together they form the Trinity and rule over the Universe!”

“Huh… A triumvirate…? Brilliant! Think of the lines we could have! ‘We may not be the Trinity villain, but we can still administer justice!’ Yeah, this could work!” exclaimed Red.

“But Red, there are six of us!” pointed out Pink.

“Correct Pink! There is only one solution…!”

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After a few minutes of hesitation, Red took out his pistol, and blasted Black (who was African-American), Yellow (who was Asian), and Blue (who was a total geek)!

Green was shocked at the display!

“You killed them!” he exclaimed.

“Sorry Tommy, but for this new team to work, sacrifices had to be made. Some had to go, so it might as well been the minorities, and the total geek.” explained Red with confidence.

“But they were your own teammates, and…*”

“You’re so argumentative Tommy! Hush!” scolded Pink.

“You could’ve just fired them!”

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“I could’ve?”

“YES!”

“Huh… Come to think of it, that would’ve worked just as well… Oh well!”

Green simply wanted to die…

“Bunch a morons!” whispered Green to the very much impatient Storm Eagle.

“No kidding… But don’t worry, for I have the perfect weapon to use against goons like them!” replied Storm.

“Wait… You have a weapon specifically designed to fight guys like these?” asked Green, raising an ‘eyebrow.’

“Yes! Behold!” exclaimed Eagle as he held his right wrist to his beak. On it was a black and silver watch.

“BIG O! SHOWTIME!” shouted Eagle, before the ground started shaking.

Right below Eagle emerged a huge robot, with a red head, skinny upper arms and legs, bulky fore arms and legs, white eyes, and a human faced face mask! Storm Eagle was perched atop the machine’s raised left fist, with his arms crossed!

“Whoa… Didn’t see THAT coming…” said Green as he stepped way back…

“HAHAHAHAAA! Let’s see how you handle this, Energy Enforcers!” laughed Storm.

“Uh Boss, how exactly is your big robot fitting inside the room?” asked Gregory innocently while pointing to the machine.

“Details, details!” spiffed Eagle, waving his minion off.

“Oh no! He has a giant robot!” exclaimed Pink.

“We need to summon the Dorz!”

“Ya can’t dumb crap!” shouted Green.

“And what the heck are you talking about now Green?!”

“YOU KILLED THREE OF YOUR OWN TEAMMATES, YOU IDIOT!! ! WITHOUT THEM YOU CAN’T FORM THE SUPER DORZ AGEM!! !”

“Curses! Those were consequences that could not have possibly been predicted! We must add three new, temporary teammates so we can form the Super Dorz Agem!”

“My God Red, you are so stupid…”

“It’s Stupid Random Crap Green!” reminded Pink.

Storm Eagle went into Big O’s cockpit, and suddenly attacked the Enforcers with laser eyes, sending them flying into the wall past Sledge, Snake, and Delia!

“We cannot wait any longer! You three will have to do!” announced Red, pointing to our trio.

“Wha…, us?!” asked Snake, pointing to himself.

“Yes you! With those other three gone, you’ll have to compensate!”

“This is so not going to end well…” sighed Sledge silently.

“Alright…!”

“…WE REQUIRE SUPER DORZ AGEM POWER, THIS MOMENT!” shouted Pink and Red at the same time.

A red robot that looked like an ostrich and a pink robot that looked like a moth appeared!

Sledge decides to go first… …and out appears a yellow Panda robot! Delia then goes, summoning a big blue platypus! Finally, Snake goes, summoning a giant black postal service drop off box!

“What?! A mailbox?!” asks the surprised blue Hunter.

“Along with an ostrich, a moth, a panda, and a platypus.” sighed Sledge grimly.

Not willing to let them morph, Eagle charges forward in Big O! But he is stopped by a big green buffalo!

“Will you guys hurry up?! I’m not sure how long I can hold him like this!” shouted Green over a microphone.

“Unhand me, pest!” demanded Storm Eagle.

“Hold on Tommy! We’re still shifting!”

Everyone mounted their robots’ cockpits. Now the robots were in the air, transforming and becoming one! The heroes joined each other in the Super Dorz Agem cockpit.

“It looks like…” began Sledge.

“…A cross between an ostrich, a moth, a platypus, a panda, and a giant postal service box.” finished Delia, sighing.

“ARGH! Hurry guys! Hit him with the power sword! He’s breaking loose!”

“You can’t hold me forever…!” warned Eagle.

Meanwhile, Snake makes an important observation!

“So can this thing survive longer than five minutes…?” he asked.

“Do not worry, for it’s made out of plasma reinforced Titanium!” insured Red.

Snake knocks on the back wall.

“It looks and sounds more like cardboard to me…” said Snake.

A warning screen suddenly appears on the main counsel, telling the team that the power supply was hanging by a thread!

WARNING! WARNING! ENERGY LOW! SHEILDS DOWN! You’re screwed…

“Already?! What kind of power cells do you use?!” asked the shocked Sledge.

“We use Duracell!

“We’re doomed…” sighed Delia as she buried her face in her right hand.

Suddenly, Big O lands a huge blow to the buffalo’s face!

“AGH! I’m slipping…!”

“It’s stronger than I thought! Come on guys! We need the really big gun!”

The robots began changing again!

“THE SWORD WOULD’VE BEEN ENOUGH! HIT HIM WITH THE FREAKIN’ SWORD!! ! shouted Green

“This is so unnecessary…! Why don’t we just hit him with the sword?” shouted Snake.

“Because we just can’t!” explained Red with confidence.

“THE SWORD! USE! THE! FREAKIN’! SWORD!! !

The Enforcers finally complete their transformation into huge quad-barrel beam gun! But it’s too late as Big O finally shakes loose the Enforcer Buffalo, and ducks out of the way just as it’s firing! Half the base is annihilated to a huge mushroom cloud explosion!

“Good job everyone!” commends pink.

“But we missed the shot…” pointed out Snake.

“But we did good none the less! It’s teamwork that counts!”

“Yeah, whatever…” said Sledge.

Storm Eagle opened a comm. Channel to the Dorz, as Big O moved in for the kill!

“HAHAHA, freaks! You used up all your power with that pathetic attack! Now you shall…”

*Crumble, crumble.*

“…huh? AGH!”

A whole bunch of loosened debris suddenly fell on Big O, destroying it!

“Alright! Great job everyone!” says Red, looking back.

But Sledge, Snake, and Delia aren’t there!

“Huh? Where’d they go?”

*Beep…*

*Beep…*

*Beep…*

“And what are these small beeping silver things with blinking yellow lights?” asked Pink.

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A few minutes later…

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!! !*

The Super Dorz Agem is blown to bits, as Red and Pink are blown high into the sky (and landing in China)!

“Finally… I am free…” says Green somberly.

“Good thing the Mavericks had a weapons cache just outside the base…” said Sledge, putting his hands on his hips.

“So what are you gonna do now Green?” asked Delia.

“I’m going to do what my parents always told me I should do: become a fashion consultant!” said Green, before teleporting off.

“Whew! Glad that’s over!” said Snake cheerfully.

“Oh really…?!” said Storm Eagle who emerges from the debris unscathed.

“Why. Won’t. He. Die?” asked Sledge to himself.

“Because I am brave, strong, sexy, and far more suave and talented than you, or any of the other Mavericks or Maverick Hunters could ever dream of being!” exclaimed Storm Eagle.

Sledge just giggled a bit, apparently doubting the bird Maverick’s prowess.

“Really…? Then let’s see how you handle this!” he responded, pulling out a gigantic pancake flipper (spatula?) with massive waffle on the top of it.

“Errr…”

Cilia (who was now wielding a giant mallet), walked in the room just in time to see the display.

“What the…?” she asked.

Before she could get an answer, Sledge flipped the waffle to its side and kicked it, sending it whirling like a calcium infused buzz saw over to the Mavericks! The fiends jumped out of the way, only to find the object rolling back toward them, for Snake was on top of it steering!

“Oh no, you don’t…!” called Cilia as she leaped out of the way, and whacked the waffle from the side.

Snake was sent flying to the right (Storm Eagle’s left), landing in a nearby electric base transport vehicle.

“Hmph! Pathetic! You are nothing without those pitiful Energy Enforcers! You can’t stop me with such lame attacks! Especially one that was used on me before!” boasted Storm Eagle

“Wha…?! When was an attack like that ever used on you?!” asked Sledge skeptically.

“Ever since that fateful battle with Zero! Oh the humiliation…!” cried the Maverick.

“Huh? But I thought X was the one that killed you…”

“YOU FOOL! The media has gotten to you too…! Do not believe everything you hear, for I was captured, and tortured for three weeks before he finished me…!”

“Err dude, X is the one that…”

“TORTURED FOR THREE WEEKS! THREE WEEKS!! ! THE PAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNN!! !!”

“ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ZERO KILLED YOU, I GET IT!” exclaimed Sledge in submission.

“THAT’S RIGHT! AND AFTER I BEST YOU, I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE ON HIM!”

Just then, Gregory tapped his boss on the shoulder.

“Uhh, boss we have had mister Zero imprisoned for the past three days…”

“WHAT IS YOUR POINT GREGORY?!” chided Eagle.

“So I was won-der-ing… …why didn’t get your re-venge right after we captured him?”

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Yep. You guessed it. As of yet, another long pause.

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Eagle just shot a whirlwind at the big lug, sending him through the wall, and out of the room! He then just laughs uncertainly for a few moments…

“None of that matters! I will have my revenge!”

Eagle suddenly grabbed the spatula, and began trying to whack Sledge with it!

“And I shall have my cake!” boasted Sledge as he suddenly slammed a cake into his adversary’s face.

“Banana flavor?! THAT’S IT!”

The Maverick lands a hit on Sledge, sending him tumbling right next the car. Eagle then whistles, and out comes a battalion of generic Maverick soldiers riding in similar vehicles, and carrying laser guns!

Sledge staggers up, and climbs into the passenger side of the car Snake was in.

“Snake, wake up! We’re gonna get shot!”

*BAZOW!*

A shot whizzed by our heroes, jolting Snake awake!

“YAH!” shouted a surprised Snake.

“MOVE IT!” goaded Sledge.

Snake quickly starts the car, and zooms down the hallway it’s parked on front of at a surprising speed!

“WAH! These things are fast!” exclaimed Snake, as he struggled to keep the vehicle straight.

“Keep it straight, idiot!” exclaimed Sledge.

“I’m trying! I’m still dizzy from rolling your waffle! I can’t believe you talked me into doing that!”

“I couldn’t help it Snake! It’s Stupid Random Crap!” explained Sledge.

Suddenly, a shot connects with the back of the vehicle!

“AAAHHH, Snake you’re gonna get us killed! I should’ve stayed with Delia!”

“Sledge, fasten your seatbelt. It’s the law, and it’s the right thing to do.” says Snake like a professor in a casual tone.

Soon the two come across a chasm, forcing Snake to a sudden stop due to the speed! Sledge ends up bonking his head on the dash board, and sinking down into his seat!

“OW!”

“I told you to fasten your seatbelt!”

The lead Maverick vehicle is speeding in too fast to stop!

*SKREEEEEEE!*

“Huh?” said Sledge as he and Snake looked behind them. “YAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! !”

*CRASH!*

Sledge and Snake are sent plummeting off the cliff!

“AAAAAAAAAaahhhhh!! !!”

Meanwhile…

Cilia confronts the source of her jealousy: Delia!

“Alright missy, what do you got that I don’t?!” asked an angry Cilia forcefully.

“Err… What are you talking about…?” asked Delia innocently, not knowing what the female Maverick was talking about.

“Don’t play dumb, missy prissy piss! How come all the men gawk at you, and not me?! I mean, I don’t have the biggest boobs… …but I have a great body, and irresistible charm!” said Cilia with confidence.

“Pre-Madonna…”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!”

“Nothing! A-cup…”

“I know you said something! And I’m gonna get it out of you by squeezing your belly!”

Cilia then charges forward, grabbing Delia’s torso with her hands… …or does she?

“That’s not my belly, that’s my boobies!” exclaimed Delia, as she staggered back.

“Wha…?! This low?!” asked Cilia, shocked.

“Huh? Oh, you were trying to grab my boobs. But you grabbed my boobies!” said Delia, smiling.

“Huh?” asked the confused Cilia, raising an ‘eyebrow.’

“Bionic Obliterating Oversized Blasting Intuitive Electromagnetic Scythes!” explained Delia, as she pulled out a pair of small scythes.

“Weapons?!?!” asked the even more surprised Cilia.

“Yep! Let me show you!” said Delia cheerfully with a full smile as she threw the devices at Cilia.

Cilia however did not need to move, as they landed to the side of her.

“Uhh… You missed…”

Delia just stood there, still smiling, assuming her trademark pose of putting her legs together, and holding her hands behind her back.

“….? Are that stupid…?!” asked the really confused Cilia.

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*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!! !*

Cilia is blown all the way into the ceiling! Half of her body is embedded in it!

“It’s Stupid Random Crap!” said Delia cheerfully.

Correct, and by the looks of it, we have yet another victim of the random stupidity!

“NO! THE UNREQUITED MADNESS HAS ESCALLATED!” shouted Storm Eagle for no reason.

“I’m a llama!” exclaimed a llama behind the bird Maverick.

“You have MY axe!” shouted a certain axe wielding Dwarf from across the room.

“I SHALL FIGHT THESE RANDOM PLOT FILLERS TO MY LAST BREATH! ONCE I GET SOME ASPIRIN…” exclaimed Eagle.

“Err, boss?” asked Gregory innocently.

“WHAT IS IT NOW, BRAINCELL DEFECIENT ONE?!” responded Storm, managing an uneasy, weird looking smile.

“I think the whole story has been infected with Haipitis…”

“YOU FOOL! THIS STORY IS WRITTEN BY A BLACK MAN NAMED ODDA C., AND IS THEREFORE IMMUNE TO HIAPITIS! AND MAY I ADD THAT HIAPITIS IS A PRODUCT OF ANOTHER STUPID RANDOM STORY BEING WRITTEN BY A YOUNG TEEN GIRL NAMED HIAP, THAT YOU ARE GAY, NEED TO GET A JOB, WILL NEVER GET LAID, AND THAT I NEED A FRIKKIN’ ASPIRIN!! !”

“Jeez, boss do you really have to yell…?” asked Green, now having the biggest headache.

Suddenly, a T.V. screen with a flight propeller hovers down to the Mavericks. On the screen is a black man with glasses, and short black hair. It was none other than Odda C. himself!

“You get no aspirin, until I get my Twinkies! And Green, you weren’t supposed to reveal you had a splitting headache until the END of the story!” said Odda… …me… whatever… …to the Mavericks.

“You can’t do this to me! You’re a Free Methodist!” argued Storm.

“Boss, what does his dena- deno- denominiatition have to do with your getting aspirin?” asked Gregory.

“IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT! …I’M NOT SURE HOW, BUT IT DOES! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND…! !!”

“Err, boss? Odda’s been non-denominational for the past two months (at the time of this writing)…” says Green.

Storm Eagle lets out an over dramatic gasp. Everything was ruined!

“Now THAT, was a SECRET! DIE!! !” Odda… …I… …shouted.

A pair of high-caliber machine guns springs forth from under the T.V. and begins firing on the Mavericks! Using Gregory as a shield, Storm Eagle and Green dodge the shots, and are able to shoot the T.V. down!

“Blast it! COME MY MINIONS!” shouted Odda… …who is me.

A squadron of purple ninja pirate monkeys with do-rags attack the Mavericks!

“ARGH! MONKEYS!” shouts Storm Eagle.

The monkeys attack with a whole slew of different blade weapons, but despite the absence of his wings, Storm Eagle is able to dodge the attacks swiftly!

Green however was not so lucky, as he ended up being given a wedgie… …with the other end of his underwear on his head!

“*HURK!* Good thing I don’t have special order parts…”

The monkeys then lock Gregory (who is doing nothing to defend himself, as he is trying to take them as pets) in a safe!

Storm Eagle retaliates by firing what look like giant black marshmallows…

“You monkeys are no match… …for my Poninjas! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” laughs the bird.

The Poninjas were both, Newgrounds stars and (for three-hundred dollars an hour) Storm Eagle’s bodyguards! The monkeys and Poninjas clash, eventually destroying each other but not before one of them flung an exploding ninja star at where Cilia was hanging in the ceiling! The star explodes, setting Cilia free! She falls flat on her back with anime swirls in her eyes, but quickly recovers and gets up!

“That’s it, missy! You’re going down!” she shouts, as she jumps at Delia with her mallet.

“Bring it on, A-cup!” shouted Delia as she also jumped forward, and drew her saber.

“Get this on tape! I will want to watch it later!” commanded Storm Eagle to Green, as he pulled out two bags of snacks (extra salted birdseed, and pork grinds) and suddenly had on a helmet with two cans of cola attached to the sides, with straws going to his beak.

But Green was way ahead of his boss, smiling widely as he filmed the action with a Sony cam quarter.

Delia and Cilia clashed for a bit before returning to the ground some distance away from each other. One could see fire behind their eyes, as their determination to do one another in was great…

The sound of a roaring jaguar could be heard…

The girls jumped at each other again, this time far more aggressively! Delia swung her blade, but Cilia maneuvered around the slash while in mid-air! As the two returned to the ground, Cilia attempted to pound Delia into the ground with her hammer!

“YAAAAAH!”

But Delia rolled out of the way, and countered with an upward slash! Cilia backed away before repeating her last attack, only to have Delia jump on top of the mallet, and kick her away!

“NGH!”

“Ha, ha!” exclaims Delia.

“You’re gonna pay…” begins Cilia as she pulls out a pair of hand grenades. “…Big time!”

“…!”

With a surprised look on her face, Delia leaps out of the way of the thrown grenades and uses one of the speeder bikes from earlier to avoid the shrapnel! She then mounts the bike, and speeds toward a shocked Cilia!

“W-wait a minute, what are you…?!”

The Maverick girl got her answer in the form of being slammed into the ceiling! Now both of the combatants were battling each other in the ceiling!

*BONK!*

*BONK!*

*BONK!*

The two created bumps in the ceiling with their fight!

*Crumble, crumble.*

“I think they’re gonna make the ceiling cave in!” observed Green.

“You are correct Green! We should relocate ourselves so as not to be crushed.” said a suddenly calm Storm Eagle.

The two Mavericks moved away, finding shelter… …somewhere. Gregory tried to follow, but since he was still looked in the safe, all he managed to do was hurt his head while creating a solid steel replica of his face on the side.

*BONK!*

*BONK!*

*BONK!*

*BONK!*

*BONK!*

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*KIIEEEERRRRAAAAAASSSHHHH!! !*

The cheaply constructed ceiling finally gave way to the relentless assault, as concrete, support beams, pipes, light bulbs, and wires fell to the floor! In the remains, Delia and Cilia were back on the ground and could be seen bound and tangled in electrical wires!

“Ah, yes! Because no anime is complete without some form of rope, wire, or tentacle bondage!” exclaims a very happy Green, who still has his camera rolling.

“Hey! Stop filming us like this, pervert!” demands Cilia.

“Now, what are you complaining about? I thought you wanted boys to notice you, and now they are!” pointed out Delia.

“Yeah Cilia! You look hot like that!” exclaimed Green.

Cilia wanted to lunge at Green, but was too tangled up to do so. This was so embarrassing!

“This is your entire fault, Maverick Hunter!” blamed Cilia.

“You’re the one who started the fight! Don’t blame me for your petty mistakes!” screeched Delia, who apparently didn’t like getting blamed.

“Fighting to maintain my honor was a mistake?!”

“No! Fighting ME was a mistake… …ESCPECIALLY WHEN I’M SO PISSED OFF! And secondly, Mavericks have no honor!”

“I’m afraid she’s right about that.” nodded Storm Eagle, in unison with Green.

Cilia, in submission just growled, saying nothing more…

Meanwhile…

The car that Sledge and Snake had been riding in has long since crashed into the ground, the remains burning in flames…

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Hold on… I don’t see any bodies… Wait…! I hear mumbling from up above!

“You said all those same things all the other times Snake!”

“And I shall say it again, and again until you finally get it!”

“Oh come on Sledge! It’s just a…”

“I already told you Snake! I’m not going to go see Broke Back Mountain with you!”

“That’s not what I’m talking about Sledge!”

“Huh? Then what are you talking about?”

“I’m trying to find out why you stuck those cherry bombs into the toilet at Hunter Base!”

“Uhh, that was not my doing, that was… … …The black Energy Enforcer! Yes him!”

“Sledge just because someone is black, doesn’t mean they’re going to just vandalize people’s property. That’s what American society wants you to think, but it’s not. Second off, we never even heard of the Energy Enforcers until a few pages back!”

“Whatever, Snake! Details, details, I know what I saw.”

Ah, yes! It’s none other than Sledge and Snake! They’re slowly coming down in a yellow hot air balloon!

“Oh yeah, we found it on the way down.” explained Sledge.

“Still trying to figure out why they had one parked there though…” added Snake.

Huh… I see… Well in any case, our heroes find another car a corner right after landing.

“It looks pretty stuck in there…” said Snake.

“Bah… I’m sure I can coax it out… Oh, and I’m driving this time.” replied Sledge.

“Umm… Okay…”

Sledge jumps into the car, with Snake riding shotgun. The brown hunter flips her in reverse and…

*Bonk!*

Now it’s in forward, with Sledge making tiny adjustments to the right.

*Bonk!*

Reverse…

*Bonk!*

Forward…

*Bonk!*

Reverse…

*Bonk!*

Forward…

*Bonk!*

Reverse…

*Bonk!*

Forward…

*Bonk!*

Reserve…

*Bonk!*

Forward…

*Bonk!*

Reverse…

“Finally…” said Sledge.

After the constant adjustment, Sledge finally was able to point the vehicle toward the tunnel. Inside the tunnel was a small ramp, that led into the room where Delia and the others were.

“Err… Should we be…?” asked Snake.

“I wouldn’t worry about it Snake. I think that made plenty of geometrical sense.”

“Okay, whatever you say Sledge.”

The two looked to find Delia and Cilia still in wire bondage.

“Green, stop filming us, and get us out of here!” demanded Cilia.

“Wha…? Oh yeah, in a minute! Oh, hold that position…!”

“My soldiers are nothing but useless hooligans… GET HER OUT ALREADY GREEN!” demanded Storm Eagle.

“Alright, alright take a chill pill!”

Sledge and Snake did the same for Delia… …That is, gratuitously filming her while she was still tied up, with Sony cam quarters.

“HEY, KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY!! !” she demanded.

“EEK, OKAY, GEEZ! I’ll get you out Delia.” said Sledge.

“Don’t trouble yourself Sledge! I’d be happy to get Delia out!” said Snake cheerfully, while shoving Sledge out of the way.

Appalled, Sledge pushed Snake out of the way.

“I have already volunteered Snake! Do not interfere!”

“But I insist!” said the widely smiling Snake as he shoved away the brown Reploid once more.

“You shall cease and desist!” demanded the irritated Sledge.

Delia growled in anger and irritation.

“Will one of you get me out already?!”

“Do not interfere in this diplomatic matter Delia! Snake, we must come up with a solution!” exclaimed Sledge.

“Uhh…?”

“Come on, we can do it! Now are we mice? Or men?”

“Neither!” responded Snake.

“My point exactly!” said Sledge as he finally freed Delia.

“Hey, how can you argue with logic like that…?” asked Snake to no one in particular.

Not long after the girls were untied, Storm Eagle walked into the consoling building on the room’s left side.

“Uhh… Was that always there…?” asked Cilia to Green.

“Beats me…” said the swamp colored Maverick, who was using a stethoscope to find a weakness in the safe Gregory was locked in.

Cilia went inside the wooden structure to find that much to her surprise, Storm Eagle was being consoled by Snake! Eagle was laying on a leather bed, and Snake was dressed like a psychiatrist!

“So tell me the problem, what has been troubling you.” said the blue hunter in a deep, professor-ish voice.

“It’s… It’s my soldiers. They’re always incompetent and useless. No matter how well master Sigma speaks of them, they always turn out goofy, clumsy, and unable to tap dance.”

“Oh my, zat is a problem… Please continue.”

“And so, I had no one to rely on but myself, as I stared down Zero… …along with the few thousand fan girls that surrounded the battlefield, rooting for that hellion…”

The sounds of a man screaming, and chainsaws could be heard. Storm Eagle ran his optics across the room. Professor Snake just looked to the side for a moment, smiled for a moment, then looked at Eagle.

“Please continue.”

“Yes… Yes… It was… It was… IT WAS…! … … … … … … … I forgot what it was.”

Cilia instantly fell on the ground, her legs sticking straight up into the air. She immediately got up, and turned around deciding it would be best if she left now… But when she turned around, she bumped into a desk… …She was now in a diner with Storm Eagle at the cash register, and Snake taking orders!

“Hi! What’ll it be?”

“W-what…?!” said Cilia, turning around… …only to bump into an invisible wall!

“How dare you intrude in our Dojo!”

“We won’t let you kill our master!”

“What are you…?!”

But Cilia was interrupted mid-sentence as three ninjas landed in front of her! Looking around, she found herself in what appeared to be a feudal era Japanese castle! She backed away… …and was suddenly found herself flipped, for the invisible wall was a booby trap! She slid down a long duct, screaming until she fell out the other side…

She couldn’t believe what was happening!

Human and Reploid girls were playing in, and around a swimming pool, with rainbows, leprechauns, and flowers everywhere! Several immediately came up to Cilia herself!

“Hello, are you new here?”

“Do you have a pass?”

“You’re kinda cute! May I be your first one?”

“Yeah, what’s your sign?”

“HUH?!” asked Cilia in surprise.

“Oh, she’s never done this kind of thing before…” said one of them.

“It’s okay! We all like other girls here!” said another.

“Yeah, see?” said one of them, pointing to a ‘lesbian swimming area’ sign.

“Here, have a hippo!” said a younger looking one.

Cilia turned around to see a pink mini hippo!

“Hiiii.” said the apparently male creature, before getting into the Maverick girl’s face and burping… …loudly… …for ten minutes.

With her face now all shriveled and green, Cilia proceeded to faint… …but before she could do so…

“Aw, don’t faint yet! This is the best part!” said the same girl holding the hippo.

The animal suddenly looked like it was going to bite Cilia’s head off… …when suddenly, a giant snake popped out of its mouth! All the other girls did was giggle with glee!

“Yummy, yummy!” said the snake.

One of the girls put her hand on Cilia’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry! He’s not really going to eat you! He’s going to send you to a new world!”

“That’s right! A new world of fun!” said the snake before suddenly gulping down the shrieking Cilia!

The girl quickly traveled down the creatures esophagus, and when she reached the bottom…

“WAAAAAHHHHHHH!! !”

*SPLAT!*

The woozy Cilia got up to see she was back in the room she was in before! Storm Eagle and Green were laughing at our heroes, gloating about how they were going to destroy them once and for all! Behind them was an RX-75 Guntank from the original Mobile Suit Gundam!

Having had too much, Cilia just fainted, anime swirls in her optics.

(Info on the Guntank here: http://www.gundamofficial.com/worlds/uc ... ntank.html )

“You fools, did you really think you could beat me? Especially without knowing drunken monkey?!” laughed Storm Eagle in gloat.

“He’s right Sledge! We shouldn’t have been sleeping during judo! How are we supposed to beat that?” asked a desperate sounding Snake.

“There is only one way Sledge… …through reverse proxy.” replied Sledge in a dramatic tone, with dramatic body language.

“Through what…?” asked Snake.

“Just wait…” replied Sledge as he closed his eyes, and stood perfectly still.

“Huh…?” asked Green, wondering what the brown Hunter was doing.

“Hahaha! They’re just denying the fact that they are about to die! Into the Guntank!” laughed Storm.

Storm Eagle mounted the pilot seat in the chest, while Green mounted the weapons section in the head. They then aimed at our heroes!

“The beginning of the Maverick World Order begins here!! !” bellowed Eagle as he pulled the trigger…

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But nothing happened!

Storm Eagle had his optics closed with glee as he pulled the trigger! Has his moment of triumph been vanquished yet again?

“Huh? Where’s the ka-boom? I didn’t hear a…”

He then looked around to find himself outside the tank!

“What the?! How did I get back out here?!”

Sledge and Snake somehow switched places with the maniacal Mavericks within the blink of an eye! Sledge was the pilot, and Snake was the gunner!

“Reverse proxy works once again!” exclaimed Sledge in victory.

Snake just blinked in confusion.

“What is this, Dragonball Z?” asked Green after realizing where he was.

“This isn’t fair! I’m supposed to be the one with the God mods!” exclaimed Eagle, who was jumping side to side furiously.

Meanwhile back in the tank…

“You got a clear shot Snake! Now finish’ em off!”

The Guntank’s hand cannons fire, making huge holes in the ground, but never hitting Storm Eagle and Green!

“What in the world are you doing up there Snake?! You could practically hit them blindfolded!”

“I can’t help it! They have the targeting system set to Grand Theft Auto!”

“San Andreas, or Vice City?”

“Vice City!”

“Aww, crap… Well, try to see if there’s a Zelda Ocarina of Time mode!”

“Umm… Okay…!”

Snake futilely fiddles with the controls, while Storm Eagle and Green come up with plans (which will likely never work) to get their tank back.

“Let’s see… weapon power, trajectory, zoom… Oh, is that a coffee dispenser?!”

Snake presses a button, and both sections are filled with the sound of Ground Scaravich’s stage music at the loudest possible volume!

“ARGH, TURN THAT DOWN YOU IDIOT!” shouts Sledge.

“I’M TRYING! I CAN’T SEE THE VOLUME KNOB!” Snake manages to shout back.

After another minute, Snake manages to turn down the volume on the radio.

“Man, I haven’t heard dance music that loud since that rave party we went to last month!” said Sledge.

“I remember that… Who played that night again? Aphex Twin?” asked Snake.

“No, I think it was Victor Dinaire.” replied Sledge.

“Oh yeah. Well in any event how about we try to run them over since we can’t seem to shoot them?” suggested Snake.

“Sounds good to me!”

But when Sledge worked the controls, the machine unexpectedly turned left and jetted through the walls at impossible speeds! Our heroes soon had blown through some thirty-eight walls, and just kept on going!

“Jeez, just how many hallways does this base have?!” asked Sledge rhetorically.

“Who cares? JUST MAKE IT STOP!! !”

Sledge managed to resist the G-forces long enough to hit the brake pedal, causing the Guntank to at long last come to a halt.

After wiping some proverbial sweat off his fore-head in relief, Snake accidentally hits a big red button…

*WIIIIRRRRRR…!*

“Huh?” asked Snake.

At that moment, the machine’s torso pivoted to the left, and the artillery cannons let loose a round!

“Well, crap.” said Sledge miserably.

A door labeled ‘important R&D lab’ was blasted right through, along with anything that may have been behind it! The Guntank then moved forward a bit, and blasted a door labeled ‘irreplaceable art storage’! Then it moved on again, and blasted a door labeled ‘separation of church and state in modern America’, blowing it to bits!

Sledge somehow managed to stop the machine before it could cause anymore random destruction.

“What’s wrong with this thing?! There’s no way they could’ve infected it that quickly…!” said a puzzled Sledge.

“I think they screwed up the wires!” said Snake, as he opened his panel, and conducted visual analysis.

“Well duh! How bad is it?” asked Sledge.

A sky-blue hologram appeared in front of the blue hunter, while Snake used a football replay drawing tool to show him what was wrong. On the map where several countries.

“As you can see, the Cuba is nowhere near the Puerto Rico, and the Florida is twelve centimeters too small!” explained the blue hunter.

“Egad, this is worse than I thought! Man, we gotta get outta this thing!” exclaimed Sledge.

But at that very moment as if right on cue, the Guntank took off again! It pivoted to the right, and blew through three more rooms! A room with an ‘expensive computer equipment’ door label was first, followed by a door labeled ‘sub-tank & food storage’! Finally a room labeled ‘Medicare and financial aid for the poor’ was blown right through, making sure whatever contents that may have been inside destroyed!

The Tank then moved backwards at insane speeds, going back toward where it came from!

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! !” “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! !”

*KIIEEEEERRRAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHH!! !*

The tank went back to the room where everyone else was, lodging itself into the wall, and falling apart!

“MY GUNTAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!” shouts Storm Eagle.

Without warning from out behind the wreckage emerge an endless swarm of thousands, upon thousands of cockroaches!

“YAAAAHHHHHH!! !”
“YAAAAHHHHHH!! !” screamed Delia and Cilia as they unknowingly embraced each other.

“What the heck…?! I just had this place sprayed!” exclaimed Eagle in panic.

“Well, I couldn’t find a fusion generator anywhere, so I used cockroaches for the power…” explained Green.

“You used COCKROACHES?! No wonder that thing was out of control…!”

Storm, Green, Gregory, Delia, and Cilia were soon buried in buggery, as the insects began filling up the room! Sledge and Snake are forced to the top of the Guntank.

“They powered it with COCKROACHES?! What were they thinking?!” asked Snake hysterically.

“Never mind that! We need to contain these tiny terrors this moment!” exclaimed Sledge as he assumed a thinking pose.

“But how?! There’s a million of them!”

“Fear not, for I have the perfect plan! We throw the roaches that have made it past the wall back behind it, seal the wall, then make sure no more of them get through to this side!”

“Uhh, Sledge…? Don’t you think we should do that last part first…?”

“IT’S THE PERFECT PLAN JUST THE WAY IT IS! IT CANNOT POSSIBLY FAIL!! !” insisted Sledge.

Erhm… For those of you reading who do not live in America, this part is a reference to George Bush’s policies on illegal border crossings. He specifically said to arrest illegal immigrants who have made it to America, increase border patrolling, then arrest those who may try to cross. Apparently no one told him that if he switched option one and option three around, his plan would go much better.

Oh… And for the record, Odda C. does not consider illegal immigrants cockroaches (he failed to realize what this sounded like until long after he thought of the idea). American Society at large does. Thank you for reading. And now back to our regularly scheduled program.

“And during that pointless statement, I Snake have thought up a better idea!” said the blue hunter, smiling widely.

“Oh, really?” laughed Sledge. “I’d like to see this ‘genius’ plan is…”

“Okay!” said Sledge as he dialed a number on his cell phone.

He was put on hold…

Holding…

Holding…

Holding…

“Yes, I have a small cockroach problem… Five minutes? Thanks.”

*Click*

“Uhh… Who exactly did you call…?”

Snake just smiled as a small, fist sized police helicopter flew in from virtually out of nowhere, and landed beside our heroes! Out stepped its pilot: a fish! The same fish from the diner incident!

“Fear not, for I am a fish cop!” he said.

“This… …was… …your… …genius… …plan…? HIRE OUT SOME LITTLE PIPSQUEAK?!?! shouted Sledge to Snake’s face as he pointed to the fish cop.

“SHH! Just watch!” said Snake.

The fish cop took a moment to observe the ever rising sea of cockroaches. Then he donned a Peter Piper costume, and pulled a flute from seemingly out of nowhere.

“He’s playing the Gravity Beetle theme!” observed Sledge.

The cockroaches did not react.

“It’s not working!” complained Sledge.

“Huh… Maybe it’s because he’s playing the Playstation version. Try the Super NES version.” suggested Snake.

And voila! The roaches were now obeying the fish cop’s every command!

“And dancing to boot!” added Snake.

And so, the fish cop and cockroaches danced their way out of the room, uncovering Eagle, Green, Gregory, Delia, and Cilia… …all of whom have been thoroughly crapped on.

Sledge just huffed.

“That was so stupid…”

“IT’S STUPID RANDOM CRAP!! !” shouted all the cockroaches at the same time as they briefly reappeared, then left.

Sledge and Snake began their clean up work by donning Buddhist robes, and blowing a giant horn. This scared off all the rats, seagulls, and flies that were nesting in the cockroach crap. Next, they switched back to their normal ‘clothing’ and hosed Delia down. The girl stood up, woozy… …before vomiting some thirty cockroaches that had gotten into her mouth.

“Uhhhhh…” she mumbled as she held her stomach and mouth...

Meanwhile, Gregory (who had gotten out of the safe at some point) cleaned up Green, Cilia, and Storm Eagle.

“Boss? Boss?” said the big lug, as he nudged his boss awake.

The bird Maverick shot up into a sitting position, looking around urgently! He then forcefully nudged Green!

“Green, wake up! Wake up!”

“Boss, I had the weirdest dream… We were besieged by cockroaches with irritable bawl syndrome…” mumbled Green.

“IT WAS NO DREAM! THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED!! !”

“WHAT?!?!”

“THAT’S RIGHT! WE MUST CLEANSE OURSELVES!”

Storm Eagle and Green suddenly stood up, adorned in full hula dancing outfits, and began doing the most ret*d dance in recorded history, while chanting complete gibberish!

“It’s the hula dance of cockroach poop cleansing! [size=12pt]NOOOOOOOOO!! !”[/size] exclaimed Snake.

“There is only one way out…!” said Sledge as he suddenly leaped on top of Gregory, and began pumping his head with a plunger.

“This… Feels… Funny…!” said Gregory as his head bobbed up and down.

He began staggering forward, before his head was actually planted in the ground, nearly crushing Cilia!

But it was apparent that, that was the least of her concerns…

“I… I… I’ve been kissed by cockroaches… [size=7pt]And I hugged that Maverick Huntress…[/size] [size=14pt]GYHAAAAAA! I HAVE HER COOTIES!! !”[/size] she shouted before joining her fellow Mavericks in the ridiculous hula dance, holding a Tiki mask above her head.

Just then in another part of the room, Sledge’s head emerged from the floor! He began eating through the floor in an attempt to reach Storm Eagle! The bird Maverick, and Green both screamed like little girls as they leaped out of the way! Green drew his buster and took aim… …but suddenly…!

WARNING! WARNING! REALITY COMPROMISED! REPEAT! REALITY COMPRIMSED!

“What does that mean?!” asked Green to no one in particular.

“Um… Like it hasn’t compromised already…?” mumbled Snake (who was holding a strange, green device) to himself.

Strange buzzing sounds could be heard, as strange yellow sparks cut a line in the center of the room. Apparently knowing was about to happen, everyone jumped to the other side of the room, as the side they were previously on suddenly fell away into complete black nothingness!

“Hey! You guys did that, didn’t you?!” blamed Green.

“Us?!” shouted Snake, before uncovering the device.

It turned out to be one of those silly tongue horns, normally seen at birthday parties! The blue Hunter blew it in Green’s face, tickling his nose and making him sneeze! He then blew through Green’s ear, with the other end of the device sticking and flapping out of the other ear!

“THAT’S IT…!” shouted the Maverick, who pulled out a paper fan.

Snake tried to give green his best left hook, only to find himself stabbed hard in the crotch with the paper fan! Green thin made an upward whack to Snake’s chin, sending blood, and (quickly replaced) teeth flying into the air! The Maverick finished the combo with a right slap to the face! Snake careened into the side wall, with anime swirls in his eyes!

In the meantime, Delia couldn’t quite hold it in any longer…

“BBBRRRRRRRRAAAAGGGUUUUUHHHHHHHHH!! !”

Yes folks, someone thought it would be a good idea to give Reploids the ability to vomit! Delia lost it all over the ground for a good two straight minutes, pre-digested cockroach remains in a neat, smoldering liquefied heap.

“WAAAAHHHH!! !”

Sledge found himself Thrown face first into Delia’s vomit thanks to Gregory, who had shaken him off! The brown hunter unintentionally took a large chunk of it into his mouth, and gulped it right down. His skin then turned green, and he proceeded to faint. The sight of Sledge drinking her vomit caused Delia to upchuck again!

“Oh no, I just mopped!” shouted Green… …right before he was hit in the back of the head by a certain wrench, wielded by a certain sky blue Maverick Hunter.

Snake was about to pose, and say something witty only to be bum rushed by Gregory, who was galloping over to his boss!

“Gregory, you’re here! Use the anti-roach cootie spray on us now!” commanded Storm Eagle.

“Uhh, okay boss.”

Gregory opened his apparently hollow chest, and grabbed a small pink spray bottle with pink flowers on it. The large Maverick then sprayed concoction onto his allies. But as it turns out, this stuff stinks even worse than the cockroach residue! Eagle, and Cilia’s outfits actually fall right off, and due to the fumes, their stomachs are destabilized… …well I think you know what happens next…

BRRUUUUAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHH!! !

AAAAAARRAAAAGGGGGGGGUHHHHHHH!! !

Gug-ug-AHoOOOOOOouUuuoaHDODGGGGGGHHHHHHH!! !

UG! UG! HIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUGGGHHHHH!! !

“THE GAYNESS OF THAT BOTTLE IS UNBEARABLE!! !” shouted Sledge, before puking the pounds out himself.

“WHAT’S THAT SME- BLLLAAAARRRRUUUUUUGGGHHHHHH!! !” shouted Snake as he did the old sallow reversal himself.

“It smells like petroleum!” said the recovering Cilia, as she covered her nose.

“It’s making me feel even sicker…” added Delia, who staggered over.

“Huh… We agree on something…” muttered Cilia.

The girls just looked at each other for a moment… …before vomiting all over the place at the same time.

“TOO MUCH BELLY GRAVY! WE NEED THE CLEANSING FIRE!” rambled the panicking Storm Eagle.

“Hmm, my brain is wor-king boss!” announced Gregory.

The large one picked up Green, waking him up, and rubbed him against his head hard! This caused Green’s armor to heat up!

“YAAAAHHHHHH, TOO HOT! TOO HOT!”

Gregory ignored Green’s complaint as he proceeded to touch Storm Eagle and Cilia… …SETTING THEM BOTH ABLAZE!! !

“YYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! !”
“YYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! !

“WHAT THE HELL…?!” shouted Sledge.

“MY GOD! IT REALLY WAS PETROLIUM!” added Snake.

“RUUUUUUUN!! !”
“RUUUUUUUN!! !” they both shouted at the same time, as they were chased by the widely running Maverick fireballs.

Green, and Gregory caught on fire as well!

“YA, PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT!! !” pleaded Green.

Gregory took it much better than anyone else…

“Oooooooooo, fire goooooooood…”

Suddenly, an idea hit Storm Eagle!

“Wait, I got it! STOP DROP ROLL! STOP DROP ROLL! STOP DROP ROLL!” he shouted in tandem with stopping, dropping, and rolling.

The other Mavericks (except for Gregory) followed suit, soon completely put out.

“GREGORY!! ! HOW HARD IS IT TO TELL WHICH BOTTLE IS WHICH?!?!”

Gregory… …apparently unaware that his body is half melted at this point (due to the fact he had the petroleum bottle still inside him)… continued daydreaming in burning ecstasy.

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…That so did not sound right...

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, EVIL MAVERICK HUNTERS!! !”

“HEY! Don’t blame me for your petty mistakes, moron!” chided Sledge with a look of averse.

“Yeah, loser!” added Snake.

“Why you little…! Come here you…!” grumbles Eagle.

The bird tackles Snake, who defends himself by attempting to ram his wrench into his assailant’s beak! The two crash into one of the larger pieces of debris, forming a large dust cloud that has temporarily obscured them from view!

*SkkWRINnGH! SNAP!*

“YAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! !”

Storm Eagle ran out of the withering dust cloud, covering the spot where his beak should’ve been… It had been ripped clean off!! !

“MOTHER OF MADNESS…!” shouted Green.

“My God! Boss are you alright?!” shouted Cilia.

“Uhh, now why did your beak fall off boss?” asked Gregory curiously, who didn’t seem anywhere near as concerned.

Eagle took a hand off the spot where his beak formerly was and raised it into the air as a fist.

“MMMMPH-PH PHPHM! PHHHMMMPHPHPHPHMMM-M-M-M!” shouted the Maverick.

“Are we playing charades?” asked Gregory.

Eagle continued his muffled mumblings, angrier this time.

“I don’t really understand what you’re saying boss.” said Gregory.

“Would like to buy a vowel?” asked Green sarcastically.

“Duu, how much?” asked Gregory.

Green just sighed, while Eagle continued his rambling.

“Hahahahaha!” chuckled Snake, as he came out, holding his enemies precious beak.

“Is that his beak?!” asked Sledge.

“Yep! He can’t ‘mouth off’ to me anymore!” replied Snake.

“He’s at the beak of his career!” added Sledge.

“I won’t even need a beak into the future!” laughed Snake.

“Okay, boys…” sighed Delia, who had enough…

And so did Storm Eagle’s beak! It suddenly leaped off Snake’s hand, and bit down onto his nose!

“EEEEEEEHHHHHHH! Get it off, get it off!” cried the blue hunter nasally.

“Hah! Serves you right!” shouted Green mockingly.

Snake pulled the beak, struggling until his nose stretched to over six inches! Soon, the appendage finally snapped off, flying back to Storm Eagle who promptly caught it, and reattached it.

“Alright, THAT IS IT! YOUR GOING TO HURT SO BADLY, IT WILL… …IT WILL…! !!”

“I think that’s quite enough…” said an all too familiar voice from afar.

“What?!” shouted Cilia.

“NO…!” added Green.

“It can’t be…! How’d you get out of your cell?!” shouted a frightened Storm Eagle.

The dramatic, yet somewhat inappropriate Ride of the Valkyries theme song blared in the background from pretty much out of nowhere, as Zero and Rodney clashed swords!

“You gotta wonder where that music is coming from…” said Snake.

Rodney ducks a horizontal slash from Zero, then jumps into the air, landing on a taller piece of debris.

“I have all the skills you do, Zero! What do you expect to do? HAHAHAHAAA!” laughed Rodney.

“I’ll show you what I’m gonna do! Soul body!” shouted Zero.

An energy double lunges at Rodney, and lobs a pie dead into his face!

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! APPLE PECAN?! I DESPISE APPLE PECAN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! !” exclaimed Rodney, as he desperately tried to wipe the pie from his face.

“HAHAHA! I knew from that look in your eyes that you didn’t like apple pecan pie! Your kung fu is weak, and your skills are non-existent!”

“Oh yeah?! I’m gonna own you so hard, you’ll be polka dancing uncontrollably for the rest of your life! I not going to be sub planted by some blonde Samurai!”

“For your information, I’m a Ronin, and a Ninja!”

Rodney suddenly calmed down, and bowed before Zero in a polite way.

“I stand corrected, oh man of neon lit bosoms.” he said.

“Wha…?! Oh, haha, very funny!”

A chibi Forte plushy flew in from out of nowhere.

“HAHAAA!”

“What the…?!” asked Zero, turning around to face the propeller driven machine.

“Zero has boooooob liiiiiights!” said the plushy.

“HUH?! THEY'RE CHEST REFLECTORS DAMMIT! CHEST REFLECTORS!” shouted the crimson Hunter.

“Boob lights!” chirped the machine mischeviously.

“CHEST REFLECTORS!”

“Boob lights!”

“CHEST REFLECTORS!”

“Boob lights!”

“CHEST REFLECTORS!”

“Chest reflectors!”

“BOOB LIGHTS!”

“Chest reflectors!”

“BOOB LIGHTS!”

“Chest reflectors!”

“BOOB LIGHTS!”

“Chest reflectors!”

“BOOB LIGHTS!”

“Chest reflectors!”

“BOOB LIGHTS!”

“Buttsecks!”

“BOOB LIGHTS!”

“Buttsecks!”

“BOOB LIGHTS!”

“Buttsecks!”

“BOOB LIGHTS!”

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“Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!” squealed the mini-Bass.

“Huh…? HEY, WAIT A MINUTE…! YOU TRICKED ME!” exclaimed Zero, apparently figuring out what just transpired.

“Yep, afraid he got ya good there boss.” said Sledge, cleaning out his right audio sensor.

“I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I MEAN’T CHEST REFLECTORS…!”

“You have booooooooooooooooooooooooooooob liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiights, ahahahahahahahahahahaaaa!! !” laughed the chibi Bass as it flew off.

Zero stood still silently for a few moments…

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“I hate everything.” he said, crossing his arms.

“And that would include me!” shouted Rodney, happily.

“What are you…? Crap…” said Zero, turning around to see that the Maverick swordsman had taken Delia hostage. He held his sword to her neck.

“Do as I say Zero, or she’s history!”

“Crap, I forgot to keep an eye on the others! S**t on me!”

Just then the chibi Bass flew back in!

“Okaaaaaay!! !”

The flying plushy flew his butt over Zero’s face, and let out fifty pounds of horse crap all over him! He was completely buried!

“Haaaa, haaaaaaaaa!” said the Bass plushy as it flew off.

“Hey, quit making fun of IRA’s bad translation!” shouted Sledge.

“Yeah, how would you like it if he made fun of your talking!” added Snake.

“He’ll make sure you’re blowed up, and…!”

Delia, and the other two stopped themselves as they realized that their un-bad translators had been broken! Now they couldn’t say anything without potentially messing it up! Thankfully, the stench from the horse crap reached Rodney! In his bid to protect himself from the overwhelming smell, the Maverick releases Delia who leaps up onto a balcony that looked down upon the rest of the room. With her were Sledge and Snake.

Zero emerged from the poop pile with his left hand plugging his nose, and his right firing Z-buster shots at the retreating Bass plushy! He then opened fire on Rodney (who dodged with somersaults), while brushing his teeth with a talking tooth brush!

“NOOOOOO! Forced to clean the mouth of a freshly pooped on Reploid, while in the middle of a war zone! Oh, the inhumanity! Not saying I’m a man, but surely something similar! At least he’s using the proper up and down motions, and not going side to side! Maybe I won’t be forced to clean the bottoms of his footpad stabilizers after all…” whined the tooth brush.

Zero then put his right footpad stabilizer up…!

“NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! !” shouted the tooth brush in despair.

After his business with the tooth brush was finished, Zero approached Rodney again!

“Alright, there he is! It’s probably a better idea to continue shooting at him from afar, but I’ll get close to him anyway.” thought the crimson hunter to himself.

“Argh, there’s Zero! He’s opted to attack me up close! I think I should let him get close to me, just to see what he does…” thought Rodney to himself.

“He’s close enough for me to slash him! But maybe I should tackle him again…” thought Zero, as he tackled his opponent.

“I’m down! I could kick him off, putting him into a vulnerable state but perhaps I will have right where I want him if I leave him on top of me…” thought Rodney to himself.

“In this position, I can punch the crap outta him no problem but perhaps I will have him right where I want him if I jump off of him…” thought Zero.

Rodney gets up, and grabs Zero by the neck.

“Now I have him in an inescapable choke hold! I will hold him up in the air, and see what he does…” thought Rodney.

“Now he has me in an easily escaped choke hold! He’s holding me up in the air, but maybe I can convince him to put me down just by staring at him!”

And so the battle of the (non-existent) minds continues… …until a giant boulder falls on both of them!

“Ow… Pain… Hurt…” muttered Zero as the boulder cracked, and fell to pieces over both warrior’s heads.

“That was all your fault.” blamed Rodney.

“No, that was your fault.” said Zero.

“No, that boulder was your doing.” said Rodney.

“I’ll insist it was your fault.” replied Zero.

Rodney just stared at Zero…

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…before grabbing him, and kissing him!! !

“KISS ME!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, MMMPPHHH MMPPPHHHH!! !”

Zero (after five minutes) manages to push Rodney off of him, and right into the wall!

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!” shouted Zero as he wiped his lips.

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! THE CRACK MADE ME DO IT…!” defended Rodney.

Zero charged at Rodney, trying to chop him to bits! But Rodney continuously dodges!

“I’LL HACK YOU LIKE MEAT!” shouts the Maverick as he charged at Zero.

Zero pulls a hanging rope, causing an unnecessarily large trap door to spring open below Rodney. The Maverick promptly falls in.

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! !”

“Well so much for that…” said Zero, putting his saber away and crossing his arms.

Just then, a saw began cutting a perfect circle around Zero. Zero watched as the floor around him gave way, falling down, while the little circle of ground he stood on remained in place. Several grappling hooks latched on to the small patch. Storm Eagle, Rodney, and the other Mavericks were using the hooks to pull the rest of the land back into place.

“WORK THOSE PROVERBIAL MUSCLES!” commanded the pissed off poultry.

Using super glue, the Mavericks reattached the ground to Zero’s floating circle before falling down exhausted.

“You can surrender anytime now…” said Zero.

“NEVAH!” shouted Storm Eagle. “I shall fight you to my last proverbial breath!”

“Find then! It’s time I taught you a lesson!”

The combatants (who were now drawn like Yu-Gi-Oh characters) then unfolded their Kaiba Corp. duel disks, and inserted their decks!

“LETS DUEL!”
“LETS DUEL!” they both shouted at the same time.

“YUGIOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!! !” shouted Green for no reason.

“Wait a minute… Now there playing Duel Monsters?!” asked Delia as she jumped down. “What this world is coming too?”

She then covered her mouth, realizing her un-bad translation device was still broken.

“I really need to get that fixed…”

“The time has come folks! Today, we make history!” said Sledge from behind Delia.

“Huh?!”

Delia looked behind her to see that Sledge was dressed like a news anchor, and sitting behind a desk!

“We now go live to Doctor Snake, who is getting ready to take a journey up Delia’s a**!”

Snake suddenly appeared, dressed in a pink surgeon’s outfit putting on rubber gloves!

“That’s right Sledge! We are now going to take a journey up Delia’s a**! Be warned, we have no idea what might be up there so viewer discretion is advised!” said Snake.

Delia looked over with much averse as Snake moved in to stick his hand into her butt. All Snake found a an armored tan boot ramming into his right cheek, sending him flipping thirty-five times while up in the air, before slamming into a wall.

“Snake? Snake! Do you read me? Ladies and Gentlemen, we appear to be having a few technical difficulties. We shall take a commercial break, then we’ll be back with a cute little story about a three legged puppy who saved a baby. Afterward, we shall resume the journey to the center of the Delia!” explained Sledge.

Delia slowly walked over to her Brown comrade. It would’ve been perfectly normal if not for the fact that her eyes were demonic red, and she left small craters in every step…

And while that was going on…

“Fool! What do you hope to achieve with such a pathetic monster? You only have five-hundred life points!” shouted Storm Eagle, pointing at Zero.

“Your blind to my plan as usual, bird brain! I summon Celtic Guardian! Now I sacrifice my monsters to summon…!”

“NO, IT CAN’T BE…! !!”

“…SLYPHER THE SKY DRAGON!! !”

Slypher attacks, wiping out Storm Eagle!

“NOOOOOOO! How could I lose?!”

“Because unlike me, you are not sexeh!” explained Zero.

“BLAST YOOOOUUUUUUU!”

However, Slypher’s attack had unforeseen consequences in the form of a dimensional paradox!

“What the…?!” shouted Zero, as the way he was drawn went back to normal.

Everyone found themselves in an inescapable vortex of Stupid Random Crappiness! They were reliving everything that happened in the story up to this point!

“Anvils?! Oh, that SO did not happen…!” exclaimed Storm Eagle.

“Yes it did! I am an eye witness, AND the one responsible!” said Sledge, who had a black eye, banged up armor, and slightly swollen cheeks.

“It’s not fair! You guys actually have a shred of competence!” argued Green.

“But you guys had bacon!” said Snake.

“ENNNNNGIIIIIIIIINNNE!! !” shouted Sledge.

“WHERE’S MY CAKE?!” shouted Zero angrily.

“FLAAAAAAAAAAT!” shouted Delia, pointing at Cilia.

“I WANT MY COOKIES!! !” shouted Cilia, pointing at Delia.

“LEROOOOOOY…!” began Green.

“Don’t even think about it!” commanded Storm Eagle, as he smashed Green with Gregory’s body.

“I want some wine.” said Gregory dreamily.

“YOU HAVE [size=16]MY AXE!”[/size] said a certain dwarf.

“MY COOKIEEEEEEES!! !” shouted Cilia.

“WHAT’S GOING ON HERE ALREADY?!?!” shouted Zero.

“I’m a llama!” said a llama from behind Zero.

ALRIGHT, ENOUGH ALREADY!! ! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!

“WE’RE NOT PEOPLE! WE’RE ROBOTS! GET IT STRAIGHT!” demanded Sledge.

OH, AND WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO IF I DON’T?!?!

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Crossing your arms, closing your eyes, and being completely motionless is supposed to scare me?! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… wait… unless…, unless he’s… NO…! NOT THAT…! THE SILENT TREATMENT!! ! AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!! !

“This reality shift will destroy the world if nothing is done! I have no choice…” said Odda, as he walked in from nowhere.

H-he’s giving a switch with a red button to Delia! I… I… must resist… …THE SILENT TREATMENT!! !

“You are the chosen one. Only you can prevent forest fires!” said Odda.

Delia’s giving Odda a ‘WTF?’ look! *hurk* Oh, no! fading… …fast…

“Oops… Wrong line… Only you can end the incredible Stupid Random Crappiness!”

“But why me?” asked Delia, skeptical.

“Because you are the only one with hair like spinach.” replied Odda.

“M-my hair? But there are plenty of other green haired anime characters out there…!”

“Sorry, but only YOU can activate this button. Push it well, and return to the reality you knew… …and don’t forget to recycle.”

“Huh?!”

“Sorry… I mean beware of the potatoes of malice.”

“What does THAT mean?!”

“WHO CARES?! JUST PUSH THE BUTTON!! !” shouted Snake.

NO…! I WON’T DIE HERE…!

“But a lavish office building is the perfect place to die!” encouraged Sledge.

NOT FOR ME! I SHALL NARRATE TO THE LAST!! ! Upon pushing the button, the whole reality turns blood red, and now evil potatoes are attack our heroes!! ! Oh, the Mavericks are in trouble too.

“What are we, chop liver?!” asked Green.

“YOU POTATOES WILL RUE THE DAY YOU EVER… …aw, crap…” said Storm Eagle as the bottoms of the potatoes opened up, revealing jaws, acidic fangs, and tentacles.

ARE HEROES ARE OVERWHELMED WITH THE SHEER NUMBERS!

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! !” shouted the good guys.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! !” shouted the bad guys.

***

Meanwhile in the real world…
“ODDA!” shouted Glitcher in the real world, trying to break Odda out of his fit of insanity.

“NO! SHE’S NOT A TREE! HER NAME IS VICTORIA!! !” shouts Odda, desperately.

“THIS DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!”

“I DON’T CARE! WITH THIS MUCH GRAVY, I CAN MAKE THE PERFECT WAFFLE!! !”

I don’t know what’s going on, but Odda has transformed into an Eva-ish robot beast, and Glitcher is dressed like Jedi Knight, duel wielding light sabers!

***

Meanwhile in the real real world…

“SPEED!! !” shouted Psyguy, as he desperately pulled Speed (the human Sonic) away from his Mac.

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND…! THIS IS MY DESTINY!! !” shouted Speed, smiling insanely.

“Then you leave me no choice! CALIEN, GET THE TRUCK!”

A large semi is barreling towards speed and… …oh… …now what’s going on?! It looks like the three realities are becoming one! Odda’s invention worked after all!

***

“Behold the wonder of reverse proxy!” said Sledge.

What? Oh, I get it! It was a giant reverse proxy machine! By pressing that button, the real world became the fictional world, and the fictional world became the real world! That third world was a division of both that got divided evenly between the two dominant realities! Because of this, this world has replaced the other worlds, becoming the real one once again!

“Totally makes sense! Not confusing at all!” adds Snake.

"We interupt this program to bring a special Interware exclusive! Odda C. is preparing to interview none other than MegaMan X! Let's go to the studio..."

Odda: X? I'm Odda C.

X (smiling): Nice to meet you.

Odda: I'd like to ask you what it's like being a big hero.

X: It's not easy. Pays low, you get shot at, and I instantly die when I hit a set of spikes.

Odda: Really? So tell me, what would you do if saaaay... ...your arch-nemesis Sigma pitted the Maverick Hunters against an organization that wanted independence for Reploids so that he could take control of a giant death ray capable of annihilating the Earth?

X:.............Run around and shoot things.

Odda: What would you do if Sigma tried to drop a huge space colony down onto the Earth?

X: Run around and shoot things.

Odda: What would you do if someone stole the identity of your dead best friend, and tarnished his reputation?

X: Run around and shoot things.

Odda: What would you do if you couldn't make the perfect waffle?

X: I'd consult the cooking channel... ... ... ...and run around and shoot things.

Odda: What would do if Zero stole your girlfriend?

X: Run around and shoot things. And for the record, I saw Iris first...

Odda: Right... ...So what would you do if you saw a girl on the street?

X: Run around and shoot things.

Odda: Well there you have it folks! A peek into the complicated, insightful mind of Capcom's greatest robot hero! Join us later for a cute little story about a three legged baby who saved a puppy. Now back to our story...

(Sorry to Interupt...but...THIS EFFING RULES! I love it and wish you could join my forum site and transfer your amazing skills to the feild of Roleplaying.) (as I said sorry for interupting and i'll post you the address if interested.)

Funny it is!