Quiet to the extreme

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Interesting that. For me, I have never really sought or cared about or even thought about acceptance. Being different and unaccepted does not bother me, or rather it is just not something that I think about. And then the irony is, I have been reasonably well accepted anyway. Although my standards for what constitutes "good acceptance" are perhaps easily met (not very demanding, mostly consisting of "don't harass me"), so perhaps someone else would view my level of acceptance as unsatisfactory, but I am happy with it.

Since it is a spectrum though I do think that some are more effected by anxiety and sensory issues so social interaction will effect others in a different way. The times I am most effected are in situations where deficits in interaction skills are going to draw attention. So, it is more the feeling of ackwardness instead of seeking approval. I find putting on the smiling face and acting friendly and chit-chatting is physical work to me. But, I am not necessarily able to avoid certain interactions or that my behavior has to meet some level of expectation - like with my husband's relatives or my kids friends. You don't want to have them think you are too weird so you have to put forth an effort (lol). In general interactions though I don't put on a pretense.

may i stress the term NT society here, and that we are indeed a minority. and walk-in-the-rain: its physical work yeah iagree with you on that one, but only cause my quirks and weirdness isnt approved in normal chit chat situations and that makes me nervous and stuff.

death to a discriminating NT society

Good point, I think that applies to me too. You are wisely pointing out that there are 2 aspects to it, (1) seeking approval/acceptance, and (2) feeling awkward / having to work hard in social situations. It seems these 2 aspects can be separate and an aspy can have trouble with both or only #2.

Hey, somebody has hijacked my post. I was hoping to hear from other parents who had children with similar issues, because my ds has still not been dx'd. So far, all he has is hypotonia.

Hijacked sounds so deliberate - more like the topic morphed rather than anyone was trying to steal the topic of discussion. Wanting to be alone and aloofness and being very quiet are on the list of possible symptoms - but that is only part of the picture and could be explained by other things like personality or even anxiety, ect. That is why when you go for the diagnosis the parent has to fill out tons of forms to see what the overall pattern is. For instance - my daughter had a severe speech delay as a toddler which is certainly consistant with autism, however, there are other conditions that also have that in common and that alone is not enough to diagnose autism.

I think that it is great if your life is going well without having to take meds. There is nothing wrong with being AS. It iIS hard being different in any way, especially when you are young and want to fit in. I speak from personal experience. And if you want to have a job and support yourself, you have to be able to get an education and function in a work environment. My son needs to be able to take care of himself when I am no longer here to support him. I would rather he go to college and be able to get a job he loves than have to spend his life doing meaningless work or be unable to hold a job.

I don't care if I'm different, weird or whatever. It sort of brings me joy knowing that I am. Though there are some traits that I wish would go away, there are those traits that I want to keep. You just don't get to have it both ways.

If someone says I'm a little off or odd, I sort of become elated. I don't necessarily go out of my way to look strange, unless I am really annoyed and have trouble coping, but I tend to display a rather odd sense of humor in many instances that some people think is more unusual than odd. Some people actually seem to like it.

- Ray M -

pink: ..uhm who said my life was going well? its not, but i dont give in to the medication-preassure just because of that. oh gosh, you really think that i would need meds to have a job? then maybe i dont want an NT job after all...

Aeturnus: i accept myself obviously, im saying that the NT SOCIETY doesnt accept me, thats the problem here. i like my quirks and stuff. get it?

If you like yourself and have supportive people who love you, that is the most important thing. It's isolation that hurts me.

are you asipie yourself? i dont have support at all, but i dont see why we have to be so damn humble all the time, whats true is that we dont need meds, we need the NT society to adapt to US:D

Not sure, diagnosed as ADD but think there is more to it than that. My son is dx as AS. He also feels the sting of social isolation at times, but I don't think he notices it as much as me. I suffer for us both.