[Medium shot of a man standing outside an airplane restroom. Ominous synth music starts to play.]
Man (loudly): "C'mon!"
[The man bangs three times on the door. A few seconds pass, then the door opens. Gary Numan stands in the doorway, looking at something offscreen while squirting Purell into his hands. A few more seconds pass, then Gary briefly looks up at the man, as if noticing him for the first time. He immediately looks away.]
Gary (low voice): "Don't go in there."
[Gary walks past the man, who backs away, an expression of horror on his face.]
[Cut to long shot of cabin interior. Half the passengers are rocking in their seats, bumping the seats in front of them, or flapping their hands in front of their faces. The other half of the passengers are staring at them in terror. Suddenly, everyone starts screaming and panicking, and the lights start to flicker for no apparent reason.]
[Cut to closeup of Craig Nicholls, seated not-quite-upright next to a window amidst the ensuing chaos.]
Craig: "Dude, I picked the wrong time to give up pot smoking."
[A hand clasps Craig's shoulder from the seat behind him.]
VO: "No, you didn't, son... trust me."
[Craig looks back and up to see who is speaking. The camera slowly pans up, following his gaze. We see Dan Aykroyd, wearing a blue policeman's uniform, smiling benignly down at Craig.]
[Cut to medium shot of the cockpit of the plane. Stephen Hawking is sitting here in his wheelchair.]
Stephen: "Someone. Had. Better. Get. All. These. G*d. D*mn. Aspies. Off. This. Mutha. F*ck*ng. Plane. Exclamationpoint. Exclamationpoint. Exclamationpoint. Eleven. Exclamationpoint."
[Cut to Title Screen:
Stephen Hawking's ASPIES ON A PLANE
in theaters Summer 2007]
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It is an act of faith to assert that our thoughts have any relation to reality at all. - G. K. Chesterton
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