i Think gays should marry, but not have kids

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Do you think gays should be able to raise kids?
Yes 92%  92%  [ 120 ]
No 8%  8%  [ 10 ]
Total votes : 130

Ambivalence
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10 Jun 2011, 2:29 pm

Depends on what you mean by marriage. If you mean "assume a legally united status" then yeah, sure. If you mean "ponce around in a church wearing stupid clothes" then I'm against. Kids, meh, it's not like straight parents are renowned for their uniform success in childrearing. ^^


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12 Jun 2011, 9:02 am

joshkuthak wrote:
[snipped] a child needs male and female influences

Mainly, a child needs a loving home. Countless children are trapped in care homes because too many people would rather see them abandoned than raised by a same-sex couple or single parent.

The idea that children need a particular family structure is an old myth. There is lots of evidence showing that it's the quality of parenting that counts and not the family structure. In fact, you might be interested to know that children raised by lesbian parents tend to do slightly better on average than children raised by straight parents!

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2009.00678.x/full



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12 Jun 2011, 6:32 pm

Funny that studies have shown that homosexual couples (especially lesbians) can raise just as well balanced and well developed children as their heterosexual counterparts.



jojobean
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13 Jun 2011, 12:12 am

my cousin is lesbian, and she and her partner raised 2 boys...the turned out just fine and they have families of their own and are both straight as well as working good paying jobs in the health industry.
My cousin was honored to lay a wreath on the tomb of the unknown soilder for dedication as a well awarded fire chief. while being openly lesbian. She was both the first female and the first homosexual fire chief in her state.

So in some parts of the country, it is just not a big deal. If she was raised in the deep south, that would be totally different as far as how her life turned out. But you cant fight prejustice with prejustice...just doesnt work that way. There is nothing to be ashamed of. GLBT are decent people and should be treated as such.


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15 Jun 2011, 2:40 pm

I am gay man and I think gay couples should not have kids, they spoil carpets, you konow?! !

On the other hand I think other gays than me should be able to bring up kids, because there is SO MANY unwanted lonely kids in institutions, who will just spend their childhood there, as noone wants them, e.g. those not representative enough ones as the ones who are disabled, of different race or, indeed, aspies....

You, my dear, are just too young, using some sort of school/ popular logick, You talk as little sense as if You were profesional polititian, no offense. -Children are laughing at me at school, because my mother has auburn hair, does it make her unsuitable parent??


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15 Jun 2011, 3:47 pm

If a kid is well looked after it shouldn't matter what kind of family they live in. Straight parents, gay parents, young parents, old parents, single parents, disabled parents. Who cares???


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16 Jun 2011, 11:04 pm

I would like to thank all of you for your opinions, im not quite sure if i agree with all of you but you all presented goodcases and i will remember your words later on in the future, i know many of you may be thinking that im just some stupid teenager whos using teenage logic. very true, yet keep in mind im not just making up this stuff and acceptance is a problem for teenage children non the less, ive heard many of you say it depends on the area, and if there are areas where gays are accepted please tell me because i can tell you where i live gays arent acepted and i would love it if i could go somewhere and be accepted for who i am, and dont just say san francisco because i dont wanna live in california sorry lol. and maybe if i live in an area where gays are accepted i might think differently about raising kids.



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17 Jun 2011, 12:10 am

joshkuthak wrote:
I would like to thank all of you for your opinions, im not quite sure if i agree with all of you but you all presented goodcases and i will remember your words later on in the future, i know many of you may be thinking that im just some stupid teenager whos using teenage logic. very true, yet keep in mind im not just making up this stuff and acceptance is a problem for teenage children non the less, ive heard many of you say it depends on the area, and if there are areas where gays are accepted please tell me because i can tell you where i live gays arent acepted and i would love it if i could go somewhere and be accepted for who i am, and dont just say san francisco because i dont wanna live in california sorry lol. and maybe if i live in an area where gays are accepted i might think differently about raising kids.


your pretty much safe in the new england area, except maine....
MA is one of the better areas though. My cousin, the lesbian fire chief is from that area...they for the most part just see sexual orentation as something like hair color and eye color...no biggie.


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joshkuthak
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17 Jun 2011, 1:35 am

jojobean wrote:
joshkuthak wrote:
I would like to thank all of you for your opinions, im not quite sure if i agree with all of you but you all presented goodcases and i will remember your words later on in the future, i know many of you may be thinking that im just some stupid teenager whos using teenage logic. very true, yet keep in mind im not just making up this stuff and acceptance is a problem for teenage children non the less, ive heard many of you say it depends on the area, and if there are areas where gays are accepted please tell me because i can tell you where i live gays arent acepted and i would love it if i could go somewhere and be accepted for who i am, and dont just say san francisco because i dont wanna live in california sorry lol. and maybe if i live in an area where gays are accepted i might think differently about raising kids.


your pretty much safe in the new england area, except maine....
MA is one of the better areas though. My cousin, the lesbian fire chief is from that area...they for the most part just see sexual orentation as something like hair color and eye color...no biggie.


the new england area you say? intersting, New england is a beautiful area no doubt, that might just be perfect. Thanks :)



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17 Jun 2011, 6:07 pm

I disagree, fundamentally.

There is nothing inherently superior in a heterosexual, two-parent family that makes them superior parents:

Biological connection to their offspring: Well, we support step-parents, who have no biological link to their offspring. A person is competent to parent because that person takes responsibility for the child, not because that person has participated in the reproductive acts and gestation that produced that child.

Male and female influences. We support single parents. Is a widower incapable of raising his children after the death of his wife?

Community disapproval. The answer to community disapproval is normalization. Would we ever consider this issue if we talked about parents of different race or different religions? Of course not--but 50 years ago, those would have been active concerns in North American communities.

There are too many children at risk being raised by their opposite sex parents for us to uncritically assume that children being raised by a male and a female parent are ipso facto in a superior home environment. The environment of each individual child should be examined keeping in mind the best interests of that individual child, not creating unhelpful labels that do nothing to improve the conditions of each individual child.


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17 Jun 2011, 6:44 pm

Any straight couple can conceive accidentally, but gay parents actually put a lot of thought into it and choose it. I'd say that would make them better parents than quite a lot of straight ones.



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17 Jun 2011, 8:37 pm

Hey...I just had a question. Can we skip the marrying part and just go right to having kids? Ok, sorry for putting in my two cents. It's just a little discouraging that 'having' to try overcoming regurgitation is still with us... Thanks to the previous posters who definitely showed more patience than I felt when first reading the opening...

It might not be your Dae...


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20 Jun 2011, 7:05 am

Zen wrote:
Any straight couple can conceive accidentally, but gay parents actually put a lot of thought into it and choose it. I'd say that would make them better parents than quite a lot of straight ones.


good point!!


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20 Jun 2011, 7:14 am

joshkuthak wrote:
jojobean wrote:
joshkuthak wrote:
I would like to thank all of you for your opinions, im not quite sure if i agree with all of you but you all presented goodcases and i will remember your words later on in the future, i know many of you may be thinking that im just some stupid teenager whos using teenage logic. very true, yet keep in mind im not just making up this stuff and acceptance is a problem for teenage children non the less, ive heard many of you say it depends on the area, and if there are areas where gays are accepted please tell me because i can tell you where i live gays arent acepted and i would love it if i could go somewhere and be accepted for who i am, and dont just say san francisco because i dont wanna live in california sorry lol. and maybe if i live in an area where gays are accepted i might think differently about raising kids.


your pretty much safe in the new england area, except maine....
MA is one of the better areas though. My cousin, the lesbian fire chief is from that area...they for the most part just see sexual orentation as something like hair color and eye color...no biggie.


the new england area you say? intersting, New england is a beautiful area no doubt, that might just be perfect. Thanks :)


If you are from the south...it will be a culture shock though, but yeah, new england, Mass. in particular are the most gay friendly areas in the US becides southern CA. Avoid Maine though. Also new England is great in the spring summer and fall, but has horrible winters of being burried in snow. I recomemend living in town or a city, not the county cuz some area in the county have only seasonal access, meaning they dont plow the roads out in bum f*** middle of nowhere. If you must live in the county, get a house on a county or state road, not a side street.


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joshkuthak
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20 Jun 2011, 10:41 am

jojobean wrote:
If you are from the south...it will be a culture shock though, but yeah, new england, Mass. in particular are the most gay friendly areas in the US becides southern CA. Avoid Maine though. Also new England is great in the spring summer and fall, but has horrible winters of being burried in snow. I recomemend living in town or a city, not the county cuz some area in the county have only seasonal access, meaning they dont plow the roads out in bum f*** middle of nowhere. If you must live in the county, get a house on a county or state road, not a side street.


Thanks for the advice, see i think id be ok having kids if i could go somehwere thats gay friendly, and new englands a beautiful place especially in the fall so ill enjoy that :)



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21 Jul 2011, 5:23 am

DarrylZero wrote:
I edited your quote...

joshkuthak wrote:
Before anyone calls me racist I am a 15 yr old interracial person. I feel that interracial couples have every right to marry and we should all fight for that right, but i dont think an interracial couple should be allowed to raise children. You see, its just that i dont think it is a good environment for a child, I mean theyll go to school and try to make friends, and when they want to invite them over or have birthday parties and both the kids and parents see that the kid has interracial parents, then they may never show up to that kids place again. i know what you may be thinking, "well thats their fault, society needs to be more accepting and if they see good kids being raised by interracial couples then maybe they will start accepting" but lets face it, they wont be accepting, and the kid shouldnt have to grow up being teased and bullied because of that, since their only an innocent child. I have nothing against interracial couples and i am interracial myself, but im only thinking about the child.


Same logic. Try replacing "gay" with "autistic," "disabled," whatever. It's all the same thing.


This ^^^^.

I appreciate that at 15 you may not be thinking that you would ever want children of your own, but the maternal/paternal feeling of wanting children doesn't change if you are gay or bisexual. It makes it a lot harder to happen though. I would have liked to have children, but it's never going to happen for me now, at least biologically, and I'm too old to adopt as a single man.

I'm also the result of an inter-racial marriage, and my parents both had to put up with others (including their own family) saying the same argument that you did (albeit edited by DarrylZero). Sometimes it is only by doing these things anyway despite people's objections, and doing them successfully, that the prejudice is gradually diminished.


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