Can anyone explain to me what is it like to be transgender?

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That entire comment, sir...was perfect. Thank you.

Welcome to Wrong Planet, btw.

Thank you guys so much for the replies you gave me! It really helped me open up my mind about the very idea of transgenderism. I hope you guys keep on sending me replies because this is a complicated transition I'm planning to do in my life.

Also here's an extra comment about this topic: Isn't it funny how society seems to accept the 'tomboy' stereotype (girls who like to dress up as boys) more than the male-to-female transgender? My guess is that, since the bible considers the male to be the default representative of humanity (not to mention it over glorifies that gender), many people (many of whom are subconsciously influenced by the Christian traditions that plague modern human society) start freaking out because they don't want their precious mascot of humanity to be portrayed in such a "silly" way.

What do you guys think?

About holding your urine for hours, don't you go in the stall and how can people know what is between your legs if you are using the toilet inside the stall? Do people peek in through the cracks? I thought that is something only perverts would do. I certainly don't peek in through the cracks to be sure someone is the "right" gender and no one has ever peek in at me. I'm just curious about how a transgender gets harassed in a public restroom if people can't see what's between their legs if they are using the stall.

I think religion is used as an excuse for bigotry and having no tolerance.

Also I think it's society and how we are raised like when you're a child, you are taught that boys have penises and girl don't have one so therefore you are a boy or a girl and some people (maybe a lot or half) refuse to accept that change when they find out how someone can identify as a female despite being born male.

I am going in the opposite direction of you. I was born in a female body, but never could be a female. I have always been a boy... I grew up into a young man, though it took me a long time to discover why I had always felt so out of place as a female. I discovered that there are others like myself when I was in highschool... That was 7 years ago.

As for how it feels?

It's like the spirit doesn't match your psychical appearance... As a child, unless you have very controlling parents it can be easier to ignore this mismatch between body and soul. As you go through puberty it becomes a reality, often a glaring harsh reality. The psychology term for this mental and emotional mismatch is called "gender dysphoria" and refers to a discomfort with the physical body attributes that define you outwardly.

It took me many years to reach the place of balance and clarity which I have now.
I know my journey is far from over, and I still have room for improvement.

The takeaway I want to leave you with is that the experience varies by the person, and how accepted they are by the world around them.

I once tried writing a book in which the main plot twist was that the main character was a boy in a girl's body. It didn't work out, unfortunately.

So, is transitioning something you've decided to do, then? I ask out of curiosity.

I'm not really sure, really. On one hand I feel like I should give my manhood a fair chance since I think I haven't fully experienced what is it like to be a man (although I think the reason I didn't or don't feel inclined to is because of my trangender nature. Ugh! It's really confusing.)

To be honest, yes, deep inside I think I will do transition some time later, hopefully soon. I just need to bring myself to fully explain to my mother (or father) that I feel comfortable being a woman than being a guy. I herd that transgender people are like that because they were born with brains more compatible with female hormones than the male ones. Is that true? I don't know, and that's why I find it hard to explain it to my parents. (not to mention I get easily persuaded by the "You haven't given your manhood a chance" logic. Ugh! *pulls hair*)

(extra note: Gosh! You know you are a trans when you are contradicting yourself when it comes to your gender identity )

Honestly I think I am transgender simply because of two reasons:

1. I don't feel comfortable being depicted as a guy. and it's been like that for a while (Like 5 years or so? Heck I think it was ever since my childhood since I was a quiet kid at the time)
2. I TRY SO HARD to bring myself to picture myself as a guy, but in the end up using (often female) fictional characters (heck even the "boy" characters have somewhat of a feminine-esque look or characteristics to them; they never have beards of any kind and tend to be anime-style characters).

I hope that helped satisfy your curiosity.

Militant transphobes always seem to use this as the basis of their oversimplification of the whole issue - "if you have a vagina you're a woman, if you have a penis you're a man, it doesn't matter what you call yourself, that's what you REALLY are."
If I'm feeling ballsy I will reply "that's interesting. I haven't got just a penis or just a vagina. Does that mean I don't exist?"
They completely lose their sh!t.

Funny how a lot of girls who identify with boys (tomboys) can easily get away with being transgender while the rest of us boys who identify with girls get all the beating.

This may have nothing to do with anything, but I think I'm lesbian. I made a thread about it but I don't know what else to say.

From what I understand, that's mostly due to the gender hierarchy in our dominant culture. Apart from conservative enclaves though, its been getting better and better over the last 50 years...

I think it's because in the 60s and 70s feminists fought really hard to get girls and women to be allowed to do stereotypically 'male' activities. In the 50s, gender roles were equally rigid for both sexes, but men haven't had their liberation yet.



It doesn't matter what you have between your legs. If you look like a guy and go into the women's bathroom or vice versa, people will freak. And if you look gender-ambiguous, people might freak if you go into either bathroom.

Best bet is to go into a single-occupant bathroom. Even if you look like the wrong gender, people won't freak out if they're not trying to use the bathroom alongside you.

Best bet for a society is for people to mind their own business and not judge whether others are "man" enough or "woman" enough to share the bathroom with them.

^Exactly! I've been trying to tell people that all along.

It's like being trapped inside a robot suit that doesn't look or represent who you really are and you cannot take it off, all the while society interprets you according to what that stupid robot body represents.

It's constantly having to rediscover that, yes, you are indeed a woman on the inside, no matter what you do, think or are told about.

It's feeling a strong sense of disconnection with the world, because you know that that person you see in the mirror just isn't who you are.

It's taking off your favorite dress, all in fear of being tortured and force to abide by society's rules. And you feel an agonizing pain in your heart as you witness a completely different person in the mirror, and all you can really say in order to express such a pain is "ouch".

It's feeling the deepest desire be 'cute' when it comes to your appearance only to be shocked by that ugly, brute and unfitting masculine body that does nothing to represent the innermost beauty of your own soul.

It's feeling disgusted and out-of-character when doing and seeing 'manly' things.

It's having to remind yourself of your femininity by doing feminine poses, voices and behaviors or else suffer the agonizing fate of having to rediscover your true self all over again.

It's feeling anxious as a man and feeling an almost heavenly relief as woman.

It's suddenly having the wish to live alone, in a place where you are accepted as who your really are despite the gender you were born with. All because your sexist family bows down to the masculine hierarchy established by a bunch of religious, middle-eastern fools thousands of years ago.

It's having a mother who is in denial, constancy fishing for reasons to convince you otherwise while giving you the impression that she's supporting you when in reality she rejecting who you are. All in fear of what your sexist father might say or do about it.

It's struggling to find the courage and the right words to tell your parents, your family and everyone else about your true gender identity.

It's feeling beautiful when you finally wear the clothing that represent your true gender all the while knowing that, in spite of all of this, this is a struggle worth going through.

^ This is what is like to be transgender to me.