Is it ok, to be gay?

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Thank you everyone for such positive replies .... I feel so confident now.

Of course it is.

Just like it's okay to be straight.

If I was gay, then I'd do gay things without shame.

It would even be better if you were "gay" under the old definition (gleeful, happy).

Don't change who you are, because it will do nothing to get him back. Some people are just haters. I have an older brother who used to steal from me and I hated him since my memories began at age 2 years. I'm now 35 and it never subsided. Some people are just cold, sorry to say.

Yes. We’re born this way. The only problem is with bigots. Basically it’s like asking if it’s okay to be black.

Of course it's OK to be Gay. What's not OK is to hate.
Be at peace.

You were born the way you were. There's no reason to change. For anyone.

My brother "seems" to hate me for being gay also. The last time I interacted with him (4 or 5 years ago now), he kept putting me down. He is a drunk, a pothead, no aspirations. He stole his girlfriend from his bestest friend. (They were common law for 20 years!)

I do not care that he doesn't like me. I am so not anywhere near a stereotypical gay man in an way shape or form. If he can't handle it, that is his problem, not mine.

Don't worry about your brother. You have enough to worry about for you. Live your own life your way!

There shouldn't be anything wrong with being gay but unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world so there's always going to be people who hate you for it including people in your own family.

Believe me I understand how much it sucks but you can't really change how people feel about you. I just hope one day your brother realizes that it is his loss just as much as it is yours because it is not right to turn your back on family.

It is! Don't change for anyone. PERIOD

Even if you "stop being gay", your brother might not talk to you

I don't have a great answer for you, but I can share my experience.

I grew up pretty isolated as a kid and when I realized I looked more feminine just naturally and realized I couldn't grow facial hair.. I figured that I guess I'll have to be gay..

It worked out decently well for me as I was able to get into relationships quickly by 18 even though I'm socially awkward and keep to myself a lot.

Fast forward to 32 and I've been in a 3 year relationship, a second 3 year relationship and then a 5 year relationship..

I still look younger than my age.. My new boss just told me I look 12....

I still wish I was straight because I could have had a family..

Uh.. my attitude is.. it is what it is..

I always get told that I still look like I'm 15 and I'm almost 30. I'm even starting to get grey in my hair!

I don't think it's just the way I look, I think it's my body language too. Somebody once pointed out to me that I still climb in and out of the seat of a car like a little kid.

Anyways I've never been in a relationship before but I'm hoping to change that. If other people with Aspergers can find relationships why can't I right?

for sure!! !! ! You definitely can!! ! You are awesome for being you!

My whole thing at this point for me is I feel like my naive somewhat childlike personality that I still have now was my "selling point" in my 20's..

I was good with money at a young age and in my 20's because I was content with just staying home anyway and entertaining myself with music and thoughts after work... and for various other reasons..

Now I look back and I feel like I was taken advantage of because while I was in these relationships I let them know upfront "my faults." I let them know it's hard for me to read people in what they mean and what they say. I've always been very direct and honest. If I lie you can tell and then I feel guilty. I always end up telling the truth.

At this point I feel like I was an entertaining puppet that helped them accomplish goals.

I devoted my life to my boyfriends because when I do connect with someone and think they have connected with me in the same way I have let that control all my emotional well being.

Now for me.. I just want to have a relationship with myself. I feel like at this point my for me and my inner thoughts are more valuable than any relationship could ever be. Though nobody in my opinion wants to feel alone even if they prefer to be alone a lot!

I'm starting to want to my hobbies as much as I loved being in a relationship again. I like to obsess over certain topics and now I have an attitude that I have more control over that than I will ever have in a relationship .

I hope you find what you are looking for in the dating world! If I could do it again I would have been more cautious in preserving me.

Yeah I understand what you mean. I feel like because of my child-like naivety I have allowed people to have far too much control over my life because I was afraid to stand on my own two feet. It has ruined me in a way but maybe it's not too late to start learning how to be independent and take care of myself.

And the one bright side of me now having Bipolar Disorder is that at least I know I won't be abused in a relationship. I don't mind letting the other guy be in control but if I ever feel threatened by him he will know it because I am unable to control my temper.

It's not a good idea to threaten somebody with Bipolar Disorder and I don't take crap from people like I used to.

Edit: I hope I'm not sounding like I want to be the abuser because I don't. Maybe I worded what I said the wrong way.

I had a psychiatrist diagnose me with bipolar disorder at 19 after two visits and she wanted me to take lithium. I said no! She let me know she's taken it before. I still said no!! Then I started drinking green tea daily. lol .. I dunno I kind of distrust professionals a lot in their logic. I've never went for another diagnosis for the disorder since. I dunno my feelings / environment / real world experiences and her judgement after two 1 hour sessions shouldn't dictate me into taking lithium! I thought that was more crazy than my feelings.

I guess I'm bipolar too.. lol

I actually take depakote, latuda, and carbamazepine. My Mom is thinking about talking to the doctor about Lithium because my grandfather takes it and I feel like my other three meds aren't working 100%.

I don't like mental health doctors either because I always get the feeling they look down on their patients and are just trying to push pills on them instead of actually helping them. But I know now that I need my medication. Without it I can't control myself and I go very manic.

*Hug*

I guess I can't speak on that because I haven't taken any. Do you look at nutritious food as you look at meds? That they are vital for you. Especially because I'm small and I have really small bones I've put a lot more focus on eating foods like salmon , walnuts, black chia seeds in my Greek yogurt etc etc blah blah